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Smacking children

Why are so many Christians divided on the issue of smacking children?
I have experienced people prove from scripture on both sides of this issue.
How so?
Staff Member
There is a tough topic now but not so difficult in the end if you read Scripture carefully and of course, pray for wisdom.

Proverbs 13:24
He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Proverbs 23:13
Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.

Matthew Henry's Commentary:

Proverbs 23:12-16

Here is a parent instructing his child to give his mind to the Scriptures. Here is a parent correcting his child: accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a means of preventing his destruction. Here is a parent encouraging his child, telling him what would be for his good. And what a comfort it would be, if herein he answered his expectation! (Pr 23:17)

GOD is not wanting you to brutally abuse your child or beat them to a pulp. GOD says if it is necessary to discipline with a rod (i.e. a smack on the butt) than you must / should so do to correct your child for his / her own sake.
I agree with all of Chad's post. Not only that, but before I was saved and didn't have Christ in my life. I knew that children must be diciplined. Each child and situation has to be looked at of course. You don't spank a child over spilt milk...unless you've told that child 20 times to not play with the milk, and he/she doesn't listen. Then spanking becomes nessesary. Like I said, each child and situation is different ,and must be looked at carefuly.

God bless,
Staff Member
Thank you Nigh for your reply. I did leave out that which you said about each children / matter being different. Parents, I am not a parent but Scripture says if you love your children do not spare the rod. This is important.

I went to Great Adventure Six Flags in NJ yesterday (how exhausting pleasure time can be lol) and while waiting about what felt like 300hrs on line for a 15 second ride, there was this young "wild child" who went on the ride, kept sneaking through the entire line (very long line, and very noticiable). His mother was there and refused to stop him. One man got really upset and started shouting "cutter". He surely did not want to hurt the child but the mother was right behind him. What does she do? She starts yelling at the man who was right and not disciplining her child who must of cut the line about a half a dozen times. There are other people waiting, mostly children the same with their parents.

That is an example of even a mother who could use the rod against her. It is so sad and disturbing to be honest.
I suppose we are divided because we all have different personalitys and upbringings, however my personal opinion is that, i think parents should be able to smack their kids,(but nobody else) thats what is wrong with the kids in this generation there is no respect for parents, no fear of the parents either, and because kids are getting out of control they are turning to worldly ways of filling that void that only god can fill.

to any young ones out there

The fear of the Lord and the fear of your parents are precious.

when your hurting - your looking for god
when sad - your looking for god
when rebelling - your looking for god
when angry - your looking for god
when you think youve got it all - you still need god

Hes the answer every time, and god loves you so much hes crying desperatly for you to ask him in to your life, and help you with your problems no matter how big they are.

Godbless all children
In my studies I have found that the ROD was....

In my studies I have found that the ROD was at the time of the writing of this proverb, a long pole that was used to guide horses by tickling behind their ears.

Theosebes said:
Why are so many Christians divided on the issue of smacking children?
I have experienced people prove from scripture on both sides of this issue.
How so?
exactly what some of my friends say. The rod spoken of in scripture was not for hitting but for guiding and that God said to discipline children, not hurt them.

Then others say what has been expressed above about the rod being used for hitting children.

I always end up confused.

Thanks for repling though
Being a mother of three children ages 10 6 and 3. I myself have spanked them AFTER I have talked to them and they understand where they were in error. Also they know I dont "play" around when it comes to discipline. My children go long times between them (spankings) because it is all on how they behave. They are understanding that their behavior is what leads to the situation. Now do my children ever act up? Of course they do but they also listen to me when I say to calm down.

Yesterday I was able with my husband to take 7 children to the zoo yesterday. (Yesterday was a free day at the zoo so you can imagine how many people where there.) Because I use (and my husband) discipline in a proper manor. Meaning the children know the rules we make them very clear, and they know the consequence ( which was go home) We had a wonderfull day of fun and learning. So really if you use spanking in a proper way the chances of having to actually use it are alot slimmer .

JoYfully ~ Jlu
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Yeshua said:
In my studies I have found that the ROD was at the time of the writing of this proverb, a long pole that was used to guide horses by tickling behind their ears.

A belt is used to hold up your pants rite? Tell my father that, when I broke the next door neighbors window with the baseball. ouch!

God bless,
Staff Member

I love my father very much. Back in the day he had the classic middle eastern "belt" discipine style going too :) Now he's very humble and still loving as always was.

I guess each man has his ways. How about each man go by HIS ways instead? :) Amen to that. We all need GOD clearly so. Praise our Jesus forever
I don't know about smacking,but it does say in the bible to discipline.And it says also that anyone who doesn't like discipline is stupid.
would you?

woudl you smack your child if you needed to or woudl you sit down and talk to them and tell them that what they have doen is wrong??

i used to get smacked but i was not a Christain then and i dont htink my family were evn though they sed they were. so yeah....

my two cents in are. i dont think that you shoudl smack your children maby tap thier hand and tell them that is was wrogn but not hit or Smack no!!

I have spanked my children from time to time, not as a way of life, but after every resource has been covered to no avail. It is very uncomfortable and when only used in extreme situations it draws a line in the sand. The problem is to many parents, and it seems like it is more fathers than mothers take it to abuse, scarring the child forever in their hearts and spirits, not to mention their bodies. My brother in law still carries a scare on his body from my father in law. No excuse for that. The real problem today is there is no discpline at all. There are some house holds where the kids are running the show. 2 examples here. First I know a woman who's 2 boys are such a hand full for her, but will toe the line for everyone else. One day I was at her house and her son did something wrong and he would not stop, he was 3 or 4 and I said you should send him to his room. She said she tried that and he will only come out and act like she didn't send him there. I said send him to his room. So she did, i quietly walked down the hall and shut his door. When he tried to come out a few moments later. I was holding the door knob so he couldn't, he cried and was very angry and i quietly told him when he settled down i would let him out and he needed to behave and listen to his mom. After he knew I was serious, he settled down, we let him out and he was fine the rest of the afternoon. Case number 2 i was in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and by the frozen food department a woman was shopping and behind her was a 2 young boys maybe between 5 & 7 and the one boy was climbing over the glass case into the freezer and i said, oh miss are they your boys? she said yes and i said the one is climbing in the freezer and he can fall and break that glass case and get hurt. She said I know i'm just ignoring him. I was shocked that was her reply and I still can't believe she said that. It was a situation where he could have got hurt. But I guess it is easier to let him do what he wants than to take care of it. This is where the problem lies in a lot of families there is either too much discpline to the point of abuse or sad to say none at all.

Your sister in Christ.
AlabasterBox :girl:

oh i wanna say something too . . .i kinda didnt lol . . .but i cant wait after reading all this . . .

Father and Son are walkin through the woods . . .goin huntin. . . after a while not finding nothin. . .the son gets distracted and starts goin off track and wants to play in the woods. . .the father says. .. stay with me. . .stay on the track you could get hurt. . .

they are close to the end of the woods as the son spots a beautiful butterfly and starts chasing it. . .he runs faster and hops quicker . . .tryin to catch it. . .

the father gets worried and starts walkin faster. . .shouting for the distance already. .stay close with me . ..you could get hurt. . .

the son doesnt listen. . .he starts running towards these rocks where the cliff is droppin down. . .still tryin to collect that butterfly for his collection . ..

the father screams and shouts . .. but his voice disappears on the open field in the wind. . .

there is only one chance left. . .

he takes his gun . . . and just before the cliff. ..he aims and shoots the boy in the knee!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

the boy drops. . .and is saved! He realizes the hurt and pain. . .he sees the cliff. . .he feels hate for his dad . . .BUT he is safe!!!

Tell me. .. what would you have done?
after this shockin one. . .which a preacher told us . . . . . .comparing it with Gods love to us . . .better hurt and saved than dead. . .

here some personal experiences from my kids and me. . .only a real little bit though. . .i am NOT proud of them. . .and all of them were connected with tears and hurtin hearts . ..but still necessary. . .

one time we were drivin home from church in the states. . .all 6 of us in the car . . .and our 4 year old Jesse . . .who hated being dropped of in the toddlers section . .. was gonna pay us back for waiting on us all morning. .. he was torturing the whole car. .. and i told him to behave . . .many times. .. lol . . .no success. .. so he got a warning:

If you dont quit till we get home . . .i will grab your little butt. .. and throw you in the pool to cool off!!!

Well. .. thats excactly what happened!!

. .. . hmm. ..

ok . . .another thing. . .

we had spanked our oldest ones years ago with the hand. . .one day we said. . .well that hurts my hand too . . .but a stick or something would be to hard on their little behinds. .. soooooo . .. we said. . .well. . .if we have problems with each other. . .and we cant talk about it and solve it together. . .we need to have something like a problemsolver for us . ..

so there was this simple paddle . . .we wrote PROBLEM SOLVER ON IT. .. and hung it between the shelves of our grocery section . . .i can tell you that thing looked BAD and was "hardly" in use. ..

But it helped. .. just by hangin around the house. . .showin all of us:

There is another way but to paddle. .. lets try all THOSE. .. if nothing works . ..we can still go back to the PROBLEM SOLVER. ..

Our daughters burnt that thing a couple of years ago in the campfire in summer in our backyard .. . there was no more use for a long time . . .we have learned to talk things over and out. . .and who could be mad at a stick anyway lol . . .so. . .it had to go!!

Last one:
Our littelest one threw great fits between 1-2 years old one time I told him . .. if you dont stop your screamin and poutin. . .(when there was no reason. . .all his needs were met )
than I will lock you out of the house and you can go yell in front of the door!!
Well . .. thats what happened!!!

He had to sit out there for a while. . .but guess what. . after screamin at the door for 10 min. .. he started playin with the ants. .. it was too cute. .. after 15 min i was able to open the door and say HI

You see. .. it taught me something too . . dont just warn .. . and dont keep the consequences! If you cant pull it through . . .dont say it . .. it was the longest 10min of my life. . .considering .. .any neighbor could have sued me for lockin my kid outside at this age lol . .. but I guess God protected here too . .. hehe

So far so good. .. maybe I share again some more some other time :love:

God bless you all . . .I hope you will stay healthy after reading this . . .:love:
My brother and i used to get the cane(bamboo)boy that sucker hurt when it started to split.Then again, at times we were VERY naughty and nearly always deserved it.I can never recall my sister being smacked,all mum and dad had to do was raise their voice and she would be in tears-what a cop out,lol.Horses for courses i guess.(oh,and i dont feel emotionaly scarred by it either and think my parents did a great job)
reply to post

Yeshua said:
In my studies I have found that the ROD was at the time of the writing of this proverb, a long pole that was used to guide horses by tickling behind their ears.

Hello Yeshua, Thank you for your reply. Can i know exactly where you read this please? It would help with my studies to know the source of your information.

Many thanks
They actually say that you should use a small object that is too small to do damage but big enough to sting. Don't use your hand because it has enough force to put a small childs back out of place. My moms personal favorite was the wooden spoon.

God Bless

It has been a long time since I studied this subject but......

It has been a long time since I studied this subject but.........I'll try and find the source for you.


In :love: of JESUS the Christ, Our LORD, the ONLY begotten Son of GOD.