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slowly losing faith & my mind

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hello to all,

I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.

At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.

I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
 
Active
Well, littledavid, You have a lot of questions and wonderings, in which are good.
Those things you are concerned with many here on “TalkJesus” can answer and guide you into the right direction. Because many have travel your path.
It seems to me “ that God is separating you” from the rest and it is not you who is doing it, it may seem like it is. He is wanting that personal relationship with you to answer those question and wondering. Some may tell you to go to some church, or minister, I will not! At this point I will say read the word of God, beginning with “The Gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Then keep going. And ask God in prayer to guide you as you read. And ask him to give you His “Holy Spirit”. The “Holy Spirit” will be your comforter. When you get it you will know and everyone around will know it too. Seems to simple. Right it is! You need the “Holy Spirit” you don’t have the power to walk this path, or know what is going on , until you are empowered with it!
 
Active
Hello littledavid, and welcome.

I would like to post an excerpt from a Book I cling to as the Bible and I hope that understanding will be imparted to you from it.

"As a child, you didn't need God to fix your problems. Your ailments were fixed with a band aid and a mothers kiss. As a teenager you didn't need God at all, bad luck and annoying circumstances were repaired by insurance companies.

After you grew up, God showered you with earthly blessings. You may have been graced with a loving spouse, beautiful children, and enough money. You didn't need
God to fix this, for he was the source of your goodly success.

So what conditions would be required to make you NEED GOD, more than your next breath? Certainly not a comfortable life of earthly good, for this is the anesthetic of
DEATH. Those who are swaddled in temporal ease may be thankful, but they have little need.

People never need God while surrounded by earthly good or little problems. The NEED for GOD becomes extreme only when they encounter the terror of overwhelming
EVIL. Those exposed to this evil will need God desperately. And needing him, they will seek him with their whole heart. And those who seek him with this uncommon
fervor are the only ones who will ever find him. THUS THE REVELATION OF GOD BEGINS WITH YOUR SUBJECTION TO EVIL.

God is the dispenser of all suffering. His intent is that you might SEEK HIM and thereby FIND HIM. Suffering is therefore, the first symptom of impending revelation.
When suffering enters your life, it is because God intends to reveal himself to you.

For this cause God arranges the circumstances of your life, to break your heart, to destroy your earthly goals, to align your will with his, that you might turn to him wholly,
in every atom. You call these events suffering and pain, but they are actually the EVIDENCE OF HIS DIVINE FAVOR."

"SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND" Often times we need a push in order to seek.
 
Member
This verse just came to mind:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Unfortunately, Jesus didn't promise that life would be sunshine and roses. We are to take up our cross and we will face trials and tribulations.
But look at John 16:33

1 Peter 5:10, 1 Peter 2:19-21 & 2 Corinthians 4:17
Look at how Jesus was treated: Isaiah 53:3

Job and David went through this too (for example, look at Psalms 73:3). We have faith because not only do we have the great comforter, the great counselor, but we have a Father who loves us! Isaiah 63:9

Oh precious child, my heart breaks for you. Sometimes life seems to just kick and kick us down, but God is here. He loves you, He cries out for you. He wants YOU! I know it isn't easy, I know you are tired, but come all you who are weary.... Isaiah 40:29-31

There is suffering now, but God promises to never leave us nor forsake us (Jeremiah 29:11) and he promises to wipe away all our tears (Revelations 21:4).

I cant promise everything will be how you want it, I can't promise that you won't have pain. I can promise you that God loves you. Weeping may last for a moment, but joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5).

Wait for the Lord, cry out to Him. When you don't hear, cry out again and again. Even if you have to crawl, crawl to God with everything you have. I assure you though, God will not let you drown. You may fall, but He will take you by your hand. The waves crash down and the sky goes dark, but out of the turbulent sea, there is Jesus. "Keep your eyes on me."
 
Active
hello to all, I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty. At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ? I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life. I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
God is as real as the gravity holding you to the ground.

Fortunately for us all, God is good. David tells us this. He knew God well. Psalm 136:1 Give thanks because God is good.

Each of us need to find our lives in Him. Only then does life have purpose, substance and meaning. God has a plan for your life. A wife, kids, people He wants you to help. Tests to make you grow closer to Him. It is naivety to think people that are well off are better off. Life is not only about our 70 years on earth. We are created to live for eternity.

Because of free will, the ball is in our court. We need to make God a part of our lives as James 4:8 explains. ''Draw near to me and I will draw near to you''.

Jesus is knocking at the door to your heart Rev 3:20. We open it and let Him in by adhering to a verse like Psalm 51:17 and Matt 16:24.

Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart. These, O God, You will not despise.
Matt 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
 
Member
Thank you all for your words. I have read them over and over during these last few days. Even in times when I feel my faith going away, deep down inside I know GOD is real, very very real. For some reason I always seem to remember Peter, he walked with and saw Jesus and all the miracles he performed. And somehow he still denied him in the end. I am Peter. I have seen “coincidences” which I do not think too much about. And still question him out of fear. I really want to read the Bible but don’t know where to begin. Again, thank you to those who replied it really means a lot to me.
 
Active
Thank you all for your words. I have read them over and over during these last few days. Even in times when I feel my faith going away, deep down inside I know GOD is real, very very real. For some reason I always seem to remember Peter, he walked with and saw Jesus and all the miracles he performed. And somehow he still denied him in the end. I am Peter. I have seen “coincidences” which I do not think too much about. And still question him out of fear. I really want to read the Bible but don’t know where to begin. Again, thank you to those who replied it really means a lot to me.
Hi David,

I've just picked up this thread. Having read your OP I'm pretty sure that the problems stem from the murder of your dad when you were younger. That must have been horrific, I don't think any of us could even begin to imagine how you felt at that time, and even now. It's no wonder you went off the rails; how were you supposed to get your head around that? I'm guessing it screwed up all logic, rationality and sense about that situation. Satan being Satan sees your situation as an opportunity to mess your head up even further with all sorts of sinful activities that would have eventually lead to your destruction but thankfully somehow, I don't know how, but God was able to reach through all that fog and grab you and draw you back to Him. That tells me we have a fantastic and amazing God whose care, power, patience and love are totally infinite.

One thing I do take issue with you is when you say: 'I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault.' I really couldn't disagree with you more. This was NOT your fault, this was a predictable response to a really horrid situation that was thrust upon you. Thankfully God has rescued you and now your recovery is underway. Bro, I really thank God for that; had He not, goodness knows where and what state you'd be in by now.

Can I please urge you to really look after yourself? You are a precious son of the most high creator God who purchased you at the cost of His own Son who obediently died on the cross to rescue you from your inevitable fate. If God loves you that much, you have to agree with Him that you are very precious and must take great care of yourself. I'm so please you've kicked drugs, occult, booze & C. Well done, that's a massive step in your recovery.

I'm pretty sure that Satan is missing you and wants you back so he can continue his work of destruction, where he left off. The thought of you giving him the snub and instead giving your life over to his enemy, God, will cause him total rage. So expect further attacks - read, memorise and recite Ephesians 6:12-18 I think Paul wrote it for you.

If you haven't already can I please urge you to join a local church. Choose it carefully, looking on the web and visiting a few to see which one you feel most comfortable with, and preferably one with good levels of pastoral care. The friends that you fell out with were they believers? If so it would be nice to try re-establish contact with an apology and hopefully repair the relationship. If they were not believers, I'd just move on.

Can I recommend to you an App that I love to bits? YouVersion. It's a Bible on your phone or tablet. The default is King James version but with wifi you can download any of 20 - 30 other versions, the NIV is good because it's easier to understand, closer to modern day English. The app also has lots of Bible reading plans and a verse of the day, all totally free of charge. I really love it.

Most important of all. Seek God out as a best friend. You love Him, tell Him and why and what it is about Him and what He's done for you that ignites your passion for Him. Ask His help, protection and guidance, ask for His Holy Spirit to bring you closer and give you the wisdom you need to get through each day and each situation.

I know that you don't doubt God's existence deep down. You've chosen Him, He's called you. Your problem is that you want instant results; well if you'll complete your surrender by giving everything and asking God to completely rebuild you from the ground up, you'll be amazed at the results and the speed of results.

God bless you bro.

Love Andy


===============================================

Dear Lord God,

We all come to you broken and damaged goods, yes, some more than others but even the best of us has righteousness as filthy rags. We all of us needed that cleansing, forgiveness and restoration that can only come from you. No one else has the power or capability to restore us to you other than your Son, Jesus. We thank you God for Him, for His sacrifice and obedience to you.

I want to pray for protection for my lovely sweet brother David. He's been through utter torment but you've pulled him out of that - thank you dear God. I pray now that his rescue is complete, you'll work on that restoration and make him a happy, loving and worthy son that oozes your joy and happiness. I pray that he'll feel your presence and protection, leading and guiding that like us all, he so desperately needs. Bless him Lord with a myriad myriad blessings.

We love you God.

Amen.
 
Member
Hi David,

I just want you to know that God loves you more than you can ever imagine.He understands every plight you go through and his plans for you are of peace. Please take out time to read the book of John 14 where Jesus Christ talked about the Advocate-the Holy Spirit. Jesus knows we cannot navigate this world on our own, which was why he sent us the spirit of truth to guide us.The Holy Spirit is there to help, talk to him like you would talk to a friend and he will help you and give you peace. Also take out time to listen
to God’s word, and worship music to uplift your spirit.Remember, faith cometh by hearing, and hearing the word of God, Roman 10:17. May the peace and love of Christ Jesus dwell in you.Shalom.
 
Active
hello to all,

I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.

At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.

I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
My friend . The thoughts that came to my mind were 3 . 1 to find friends 2 to join a church and 3 i am suggesting your local baptist church .
Now we here are of many Christian churches , but i am following what i feel the Holy Spirit is telling me .
 
Active
Everyone , i am sorry if you feel i am stepping on toes . I am not a Baptist myself , but i was only following what the Holy Spirit told me to say
 
Active
hello to all,

I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.

At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.

I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
Hi David, One can only understand through ones own experience. You speak about finding it hard to believe, or even what to believe, but surely we can believe the truth of the gospels, surely we can believe that if we all walked the extra mile, turned the other cheek, do good to those who do spitefully use us, feed the hungry etc.. we would live in a far different world than we do today. Well, Jesus is asking us to live by his teachings and trust in him to bring about the joy promised if we do. This however has to start with a covenant commitment on our part to take part in the rebirth of our spirits. Without our confession of our sin, belief in the fact that Jesus died and rose again from the grave and our desire that he come into our hearts and change us, we remain in an unregenerate world and face what that world has to offer, which your post tends to intimate, is your experience. If you have indeed said the sinners prayer and you're still experiencing the negativity of the enemy, which by your post you seem to be, I suggest that you cling onto the promises of scripture, move into the company of those who believe what you believe, they may not have the same understandings that you have, but your conversations will lead you to more wholesome debates. It stands to reason that life in Satan's world will be opposed to life in the kingdom of heaven and so bring pain rather than joy. The question you have to ask yourself, is which kingdom you wish to be a part of?
 
Member
hello to all,

I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.

At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.

I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
//*

hey littledavid,

I won't be super long with my response but as someone who has asked those questions, it is good to find a group of friends who can encourage you in your life and really truly support you. I know it must be hard especially when you have cut people off from your life. From what I been made know, we as a believer need to see death and suffering doesn't come from God. God has been reaching out to believers for thousands of years to end sin and death, that's a hope many believers like Paul believed and gave their lives for.It isn't that God has no power, but he also wants to save people and so he waits patiently for people to come to him before judging the devil.

if you need anyone to chat to, i am available if this forum lets people chat
 
Active
//*

hey littledavid,

I won't be super long with my response but as someone who has asked those questions, it is good to find a group of friends who can encourage you in your life and really truly support you. I know it must be hard especially when you have cut people off from your life. From what I been made know, we as a believer need to see death and suffering doesn't come from God. God has been reaching out to believers for thousands of years to end sin and death, that's a hope many believers like Paul believed and gave their lives for.It isn't that God has no power, but he also wants to save people and so he waits patiently for people to come to him before judging the devil.

if you need anyone to chat to, i am available if this forum lets people chat
It does , just tap on the persons picture . A not totally square little box comes up with other icons . Tap the box and you can start a private chat
 
Active
There is no reason neither need for you to lose your faith nor your mind.

I know pain. I know grief. I know madness. I know affliction. I know these so well.

Friend, why compromise your Spirit, and why discard your Hope, because some villain decided to rob your God given blessings? You have found God, but how hard it will be for him to find God in whom your peace, your joy, and your love abides. While we ought to pray for this man, wishing him well and blessing him in the Spirit, we know also to give it unto God: " for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. " How much more abundantly will God our Father by the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ give unto you for receiving the virtue in Spirit to forgive even the most heinous trespasses?

Consider, my friend, how bright your shine is to the Spirit of your dad. Consider, my friend, the inexpressible joy that your dad already has for you, and how much more his soul is rewarded by witnessing you, his son, moving heavenward with the glorious light of the virtue of forgiveness added to your Spirit in the sight of our Lord and Father who art in Heaven.
 
Active
hello to all,

I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.
Hi David, You seem to have the wrong idea regarding faith. You say that God puts water and fire in front of us and has given us the choice to choose. That is not Christianity. The apostle Paul cries out in the book of Romans 7:24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. When someone rescues a person when they are drowning, they don't row up to a person who is drowning, and say I've come to rescue you now get yourself out of the water, no, they grab hold of you and drag you out and save you. Everything you write is worldly, Your dad was murdered, your friends have forsaken you, you question your prayers, in fact according to you, you are lost. That David,. is the story of every Christian, We were all lost, but Jesus found us, and rescued us. What I suggest you do, is find a quiet place open your bible to Mathew chapter 5. Go and sit with the people on the side of the mountain, forget about all the stuff in your mind and listen to what Jesus has to say. He is not of this world, he is of the kingdom of heaven and he's talking about what life is like in that kingdom. What happens in the world has no place there and the people who belong in the kingdom of heaven have no place in the world, in fact, the citizens of the kingdom of heaven are aliens, or strangers, in the world. When Jesus spoke on the mountainside , he was explaining what a person who belongs in the kingdom of heaven is like. If you belong in the kingdom, his Words will speak to you, I pray this will be of help. Bless you.

At the moment I am completely alone, I’ve cut everybody off my life, no friends no nothing, and also left off in bad terms with some of them. I look around and see how even the most evil people who rob & do other horrible things seem to be having the time of their life. Did I do something so bad as where I can’t even get 1 prayer answered ? Did leaving off in bad terms with other people now mean I must carry their sin even though I was the one that was done wrong ?
I’ve been “sober minded” for a while now but is it worth it ? I also question myself a lot about GOD too. My father was murdered in a brutal and unimaginable painful way when I was younger, the people who did it were never caught but I never cared because I always held faith that GOD was going to be the one to judge them. But what if he’s not even there. What if all my prayers and thoughts in my head can only be heard by me only and my father died the way he did for nothing. I’m scared to even think that he’s not there, I truly am. I must say there have been some sort of coincidences and messages I’ve seen lately but maybe they are just that “coincidences”. I’m getting so tired of this, I don’t know if I wanna keep worshipping a GOD that allows all this misery in my life while some guy that doesn’t even believe in him and belittles him gets to have the time of his life.

I really don’t know what to believe. And I don’t speak just for myself but for those other people suffering , those in other places that are not even given the chance to believe in him ect. But that would be talking about a whole another subject. Sorry to take some of your time I just have a lot of my mind , hope I can get some words from you guys.
 
Active
littledavid said:
I found this site after googling certain questions I keep asking myself and having my doubts. first off, I’m 20 I come from having a strong drug addiction before I decided to leave it all and turn to GOD and Jesus. I know we all have individual lives and GOD has put water and fire infront of us and has given us the choice to chose. I’ve made my mistakes I know that and I accept that the way my life has turned out is entirely my fault, and I don’t expect him to pull me out the hole I dug for myself, but a helping hand would’ve been nice. I have tried over and over , prayed over and over and I still feel the same as I did when I took those drugs, alone and empty.
Hi David, You seem to have the wrong idea regarding faith. You say that God puts water and fire in front of us and has given us the choice to choose. That is not Christianity. The apostle Paul cries out in the book of Romans 7:24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. When someone rescues a person when they are drowning, they don't row up to a person who is drowning, and say I've come to rescue you now get yourself out of the water, no, they grab hold of you and drag you out and save you. Everything you write is worldly, Your dad was murdered, your friends have forsaken you, you question your prayers, in fact according to you, you are lost. That David,. is the story of every Christian, We were all lost, but Jesus found us, and rescued us. What I suggest you do, is find a quiet place open your bible to Mathew chapter 5. Go and sit with the people on the side of the mountain, forget about all the stuff in your mind and listen to what Jesus has to say. He is not of this world, he is of the kingdom of heaven and he's talking about what life is like in that kingdom. What happens in the world has no place there and the people who belong in the kingdom of heaven have no place in the world, in fact, the citizens of the kingdom of heaven are aliens, or strangers, in the world. When Jesus spoke on the mountainside , he was explaining what a person who belongs in the kingdom of heaven is like. If you belong in the kingdom, his Words will speak to you, I pray this will be of help. Bless you. Remember, don't just read it, Listen to what he has to say.
 
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Thank you all for your words. I have read them over and over during these last few days. Even in times when I feel my faith going away, deep down inside I know GOD is real, very very real. For some reason I always seem to remember Peter, he walked with and saw Jesus and all the miracles he performed. And somehow he still denied him in the end. I am Peter. I have seen “coincidences” which I do not think too much about. And still question him out of fear. I really want to read the Bible but don’t know where to begin. Again, thank you to those who replied it really means a lot to me.
Hi little David, I hope your doing well. How's the journey going? can i pray for you :)
 

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