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Should Asexuals exist? (Is lack of attraction to the opposite sex a good thing?)

Discussion in 'Polls' started by pookiejr, Jul 5, 2017.


Is an "Asexual" lifestyle a good method for dealing with singleness.

  1. Yes

    0 vote(s)
  2. No

    1 vote(s)
  3. Not sure

    0 vote(s)
  1. There are may who believe that sexual attraction between a man and a woman is a natural, God given drive; however, there are some people who do not have have such a drive. Granted, people who claim to be of this orientation claim that they can find people to be aesthetically pleasing, but they feel no more attraction to from them than if they looked at a vase or a flower.

    Meanwhile, single young believers are often told that singleness it a gift, something that should be cherished between them and God. Many of them feel like singleness is a punishment due to the frustration of having their sexual hopes "deferred." When young believers are who feel this way admit, or suggest, that they ask God to take away their sexual desires, they are often met by leadership who tell them that the idea of God taking away their desire for sexual pleasure is a bad thing.

    So with this awkward salad of a situation, they are told that it is perfectly natural to want to have sex with someone;
    but don't
    don't ask that this desire is taken away
    but ignore it
    don't seek sexual gratification outside of marriage
    but be glad that you have this desire
    that you cannot fulfill until you are married
    that distracts you and drives you to frustration
    also, singleness is a gift.

  2. Bible verses on homosexuality.

    Rom 1:24; Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them.
    Rom 1:25; For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
    Rom 1:26; For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural,
    Rom 1:27; and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.
    Rom 1:28; And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper,
    Rom 1:29; being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips,
    Rom 1:30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents,
    Rom 1:31; without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful;
    Rom 1:32; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.

    1 Cor 6:9; Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals,
    1 Cor 6:10; nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

    1 Tim 1:8 But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully,
    1 Tim 1:9; realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers
    1 Tim 1:10; and immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching,

    Matt 19:4; And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE,
    Matt 19:6; "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."

    Lev 18:22; 'You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.
    Lev 18:29; 'For whoever does any of these abominations, those persons who do so shall be cut off from among their people.

    Deut 22:5; "A woman shall not wear man's clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman's clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God.

    1 Cor 7:2; But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband.
    1 Cor 7:3; The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

    Lev 20:13; 'If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltiness is upon them.


    There are people who want to steal from you, lie to you, have an affair with your wife, murder you, and tell lies about you.
    Just because people want to do something doesn't make it right.

    Also homosexuality doesn't have anything to do with love. I love many men, but I don't sleep with them. The only real difference
    is who you sleep with. Also how do asexuals know they are asexuals? How do bi-sexuals know they are bi-sexuals? You can't be
    bi-sexual unless you've had sex with at least two people... one male and one female. How does that work for being faithful to the one you love?

    Finally how do homosexuals fulfill the first command God gave humans?

    Gen 1:28 God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."
  3. Singleness is a gift, but like all gifts none are given that we do not desire. The only time you will not desire marriage is if you are consumed with God's work. I believe it is only the most dedicated Christians that can do this. Jesus, Paul and mother Theresa come to mind. This is one of the reasons I have utmost respect for Catholics. The initial commitment by priests and nuns is insanely unselfish.

    But for you and I, I believe we just need to face reality. Forcing this mindset on us will just create more issues :happytongue:.
  4. Well children are asexual, as are angels.
    Only demons are fallen angels who want to have sex with humans.
    Also homosexuality is different from asexuals, also Jesus said about enunuchs that people dont understand them. Also Jesus wasnt married.

    Many People aimply cant tell the difference between love and lust. Many people seem to think love or attraction is something they feel between their legs, to be candid. They dont have any concept of denying the flesh, passions and desires. Love and lust are actually opposites. Love seeks to give, lust just wants to get laid.

    I think its great to be single.
    Marriage you will have trouble in the flesh, especially if you are a woman.

    The unmarried cares for the Lord, the marrieds care for the world and how to please their spouse. People think its hard being single, well Ive talked to more people who hated marriage more than anything because of all the abuse they put up with that they had to get a divorce and or restraining order against their spouse, because their spouse couldnt control their lust and had sex with someone else!

    I beg to differ. It is MUCH easier to please the Lord!!!!
    Sent from a mobile device
    pookiejr likes this.
  5. Leaders who are hypocrites often give stupid advice.

    Young believers ought to turn to corinthians and get advice from Gods word on the matter.its ok to marry, but its better to be single. If youve already met someone and they want to marry you, then fine. If not, then dont waste your time!!!! God will send someone if its His will for you, but dont be distracted from communion with Him!

    Its so tiring listening to people go husband or wife hunting, then complaining about it when they find anyone or end up in crazy ungodly relationships. Gods will is far more important than our own.
    Sent from a mobile device
    pookiejr and KingJ like this.
  6. I think all angels desire woman. Those in heaven just don't act on a carnal impulse. Remember, only God is perfect.
  7. You made me laugh Lanolin. But you are 100% correct. 1 Cor 7 is crystal clear on marriage.
    pookiejr likes this.
  8. Thank you for your reply.

    Usually, sexuality, according to how this world defines it, is based on who the person has an attraction to, whether or not they have acted on that attraction or not. Many people who are asexual, to my understanding, have no desire for sex and sexuality. While they live as the gender that God gave them, there is no "fight" to stay sexually pure in that area because there is no sexual attraction to the opposite sex. Some of them have tried having a "relationship" with males and females, but (whether they had sex or not) they just preferred to stay single. Others, after realizing that there are things that they would rather do than try to maintain a relationship, basically decide to contain because a relationship would be a more of a detriment than a benefit in their lives.

    Basically (however they end up getting there) they are of the same volition of Paul to my understanding, a natural lack of desire to have sex, and thus marry.

    1 Corinthians 7:7
    For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

    Basically Paul in this chapter is talking about marriage and seems to be saying that his ability to contain is a gift, rather than an offshoot of homosexuality.

    Any thoughts?
  9. Thank you your response and seems legit. So are you saying that you believe that all people have a sexual drive, and that the only way to quench it is by doing the work of God?
  10. Agreed.

    1 Corinthians 7:27
    Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

    Wanting a relationship is a huge distraction from listening to God. Many quote the verse that says that it is "better to marry than to burn," but they don't discuss that the same chapter implies that it is better to contain than to marry.
  11. I agree that marriage is a distraction from serving God (granted, not that it will ruin a person's salvation). On this note, are you saying that you have not seen a marriage that has made you believe that being married can be a good thing?
  12. Paul said he wished everyone would remain as he was (single). 1 Cor 7:8; But it seems most of the other disciples were married.
    There is nothing wrong with being single. It does make some things easier. ...and yet... having said that...

    I wonder how many people don't get married and/or raise children just because "it's too much trouble".
    I have seven children (three are step-children). I have eight grand-children. I can tell you, being married is hard
    sometimes. Raising children is even harder. Kids are messy, stubborn and expensive.
    But there is great joy and rewards in this also. It seems I know many young people today who don't want to
    get married because "then I couldn't do what I want to do". I don't want the responsibility of raising kids.
    A lot of people get pets. There's nothing wrong with pets, but they try to use them to take the place of children.
    Pets aren't kids. There are people who can't have children for one reason or another. But a great many just choose
    not too because "they would lose their freedom".

    I've read statistics (I hate statistics) that say the vast majority of single adults are into masturbation. When it
    gets to this point, it's definitely better to marry "than to burn" (with more than just desire). Marriage doesn't have
    to be "about sex". (it's hard to believe that when you are young) but the truth for me is... who really wants to go
    through life alone? Yes we have friends and family... but what about a "best friend" and your "own family" that
    you can go through life with. Someone who can be with you every day of your life. Make life with you.
    Take care of you when you are sick. Help do the chores with you. Pray with you and for you. No one else knows
    you like a spouse does. Not even a best friend. They may know secrets about you that your spouse doesn't know. (not a good idea) but they don't what it's like to live with you.
    pookiejr likes this.
  13. Agreed, I have literally heard someone say that they didn't want kids because they were too selfish. One thing that gets me are the people in this world who love fornication, but shudder at the idea of giving life.

    I think its funny when people have pets and several godchildren and don't believe that they have what it takes to be a parent (when others would not have chosen them to be a godparent if they thought that they would mess up their child)

    My personal issue is that I believe, that in God and with the right person, raising children is possible (not necessarily easy but doable) but considering that there seems to be a dwindling number of males who desire righteousness...

    THANK YOU! *GRRRaaaAAHHHHGGrrrrrUUHHHRRRnnnn!* <------- (a vocal expression of my frustration at people thinking that masturbation is ok)
    Marriage is not the answer to all sexual problems either...

    It seems like what you are saying about going through life alone is something that people won't realize until they it is close to too late. One woman said that if she would have done it all over again, she would have had more kids (she only had three), yet another said that she would have had her children and married earlier (she was a couple days shy of 20 when she married, and two days shy of 22 at the birth of her first child). These women, to me, are a testament of the fact that the "inconvenience" of child rearing and marriage (with the right person) is worth it in the end.

    Even with all of that said, I really appreciate you saying that there is nothing wrong with being single.
  14. Being single doesnt mean you go through life alone. You do have friends because you go and make them. Married people actually find it harder to make friends, and when their spouse is away or passes away, it can be even more difficult for them. There is great reward in children, but many people seem to forget that children grow up and do leave, they dont stay children forever.

    Marriage these days is difficult because of all the pressures, raising children is not easy but if you do it you must be dedicated dont go into by halves, because children are really affected badly if they are not raised in a loving home or split between two, or three. You must count the cost, and it will cost you...your heart will be broken many times as children dont always listen to their parents!!
    Sent from a mobile device
  15. Only if you actually met someone worthy, if not, it is not worth it, because having more children or marrying earlier is neither here nor there. 22 is young to have children but if you have children earlier well you cant really as you are still in school. You end up living vicariously through your children and when they leave home you still alone until you look after your grandchildren.

    I know christian families who have the tradtional 12 or more children lol. It only works if you have a huge farm, dont mind the isolation, can homeschool, and your husband exhausts himself with work. And you wont ever have holidays. And then you need to teach your children how to farm and hand it down to them, otherwise you going to lose your land with nobody looking after it.
    Sent from a mobile device
  16. I had one lady confess to me, she gave up this musical career or gift to have her 11 children...And that wasnt easy she was still bearing children by the time her daughters were having their own..To me that is kind of weird but that was her choice, that family did run a tight ship though.

    If something had happened to her husband like he couldnt work anymore, it would have been tough because they had ten daughters and one son, imagine the pressure of being the only son.

    Its great having lots of brothers and sisters though, but if you are in a church familiy the blood family you give up is returned to you a hundred fold. Well just this year I had to teach 23 children, and when God opened the door to this full time job, I find out Im looking after 400 people in one place. Mostly elderly folk Lol

    So really, how can you be alone, you cant...when God is always with you.
    Sent from a mobile device
  17. If you are single, you either live with your family..mum, dad, or extended family, or you go flatting with others or board. Very few singles can actually afford to live alone, but if thats what you want to do then do it where you have a community. Many do have pets because the pets dont leave home unlike a spouse..,you cant expect a spouse to stay home ALL the time. I know women who go crazy if they or forced into a situation where they are expected to stay home all the time.

    People seem to have this idea that singles just live in a room all by themselves and dont have anyone to talk to, or they dont have meaningful work to I repeat, single does not mean alone, its just you arent bound!
    Sent from a mobile device
  18. While spouses have each other, there are many who do not take the time to invest in other people so that they can have a support system other than their families. This puts an undue stress on the children who end up filling their parents social needs, but (due to the this arrangement) are unable to fill their own.

    You go through life with God, which is more useful than going through life with a human, but you don't get to experience the closest human relationship between genetically unrelated people that God has ever made.

    Granted, I know of people who have 5 or more children and they have made the time to have social lives with people outside of their families. So it is quite possible, and, as you implied, useful.

    I also know of a woman who, when her husband died, had a great network of friends, and while she cared for them deeply, there was nothing like having her husband there. Her father in law and her best friend helped her through it (especially her best friend) and they are both gone too. She still has plenty of friends, don't get me wrong, but she had moment of sadness because of losing first her husband. she had the best friend in the world and an awesome group of in-laws and church family to help out; but it still hurt. Now she (occasionally) gets sad from so many people who were close to her passing on. But still; noting hit her like that first loss.

    Now I am not saying that losing a close friend is as traumatic as losing a spouse (I wouldn't have place for comparison), but to imply that all widows are sad lonely women who had no friends because they were married is akin to a misnomer.

    Psalm 127:3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
    Granted, the best place to raise children is in a stable two parent home (God's created order), but that doesn't mean that God can't turn that negative situation into a positive ("I went through this, so I will not allow my children to experience it, I will make an organization to help with the issues that I grew up with, etc...)

    Hearts are broken in single life as well, granted, you don't have to go home to it, but still, when you go home as a single person, with no "resident human" to talk to (If you are living alone).

    Also, we don't always listen to God, so maybe we can see how he feels and be inspired to clean up our act.

    For some people what may be neither here nor their to you, is important to them. Granted, these people are content with what they have, as you are content with being single and, to my understanding, possibly childless?

    Why do you keep implying that married people are destined to be lonely and lead unfulfilling lives (especially the women)? Friendships break up, even close ones, not unless you believe that we should not have deep friendships so that losing friendships does not hurt. I know several mothers who have hobbies and careers, but I also know several stay at home moms who minister in other ways.

    Cool, a "quiver full" family. What happens when your husband doesn't exhaust himself with work? Farmers usually have more energy and strength than the average person. Out of 12 kids, at least one will be a farmer. I have an associate who was raised as a farmer, and out of the three kids, his brother still owns cattle and out of his grand parents kids (I think there was three of them too) his father still grows hay and sells it (while having a regular day job)

    I live alone, and it's funny because I feel less lonely in my apartment than living with my family. I feel like your living situations should be based on whether or not you feel you have peace. Why would a spouse need to stay home all of the time? Why should a wife stay home all of the time?

    Agreed, you are held accountable for how you live with your spouse and children. Singles, while they are free to serve the Lord, are often bound by other things. Some are bound by their sexual desires, others are bound by their unrequited desire for a companion.

    Proverbs 13:12
    12 Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

    Like BAC said no one can know you like your spouse. You become one flesh with a person unlike you can with any friendship you could possibly have (assuming that there is not fornication in the life of the potential readers other than yourself, which is another discussion altogether). And while it looks like bondage to you (and Paul if I understand correctly) it is having the best teammate imaginable or others.
  19. Well, it is bondage to most people, unless it is of God, but very few marriages are like that.

    The most intimate relationship you can have is with God who's spirit dwells inside you. A spouse does not dwell inside you. I haven't really seen any marriage that I can really say well thats one flesh. Which is kind of sad, but that's reality. Every single one I have talked to has always said how different they are from their spouse and how they don't know them well. They don't know them because they don't talk to them or understand them. many are unequally yoked, and they may have had physical relations but they have absolutely no spiritual relationship.

    I have had many married people who would not be buried next to their spouse, so I would say, please don't marry unless God wants you two together, because if you are going to do ministry, you need each other, you can't just do ministry and the other spouse goes and does something else. It's not going to work. You are going to have to pray fervently for their salvation but you are going to have to face up to the fact, if you married an unbeliever, that you didn't put God first in your life. And there are consequences to that.

    If you are going to be married stay married, if you are single stay single. Just be happy whatever situation you are in. I have really had enough of married people complaining to me and single people complaining to me. The married people who whine about being married and the singles whining about being unmarried.

    Just a whole lot of whining. Work on your marriage if you are married, (and you have work cut out for you) otherwise work for the Lord and don't worry about a thing because God doesn't want us to worry. It's sin. Its also being a busybody if you are so concerned about other people not marrying, or maybe they just don't want to marry you. Maybe they just don't want to marry anyone or they haven't met the right person or they are not prepared to marry or its the wrong time. There are lots of reasons why people don't and forced marriages are NEVER a good idea. Jesus understood all these reasons cos he's the one who really KNOWS us inside out, and he was tempted in all ways. Nobody automatically becomes holy once they are married - I have seen so many dysfunctional marriages where its the wife who either gets dumped on - to do chores, look after all the children, and then simply abandoned for someone else once she's exhausted. It is so common that I can really say that it would be a miracle to witness a functioning marriage. I have had so many widows, who IMHO the worst, turn real bitter and resentful after their spouse died. Yes its sad, BUT they drain other people with their woes. Many had become so dependent on their spouse to such an extent that they seem quite incapable of living without them. They never learned basic living skills!

    Jesus wasn't crucified for nothing. The thing is, do we really know Jesus and do we live with him everyday by faith, or are we only going by what we see. Are you trying to categorise people into married/unmarried and saying one is better than the other when the question ought to be..are we dead to sin and living the life Jesus wants us to live.
    pookiejr likes this.
  20. If christian singles are bound by sexual desires then yes that is a problem. Either marry the person you desire (just ask them!) but if you can't you must wait, or the other possibility is your desire is for the wrong person.
    Its the same as if a married person is bound by sexual desires- to someone who is not their spouse. WRONG. You need deliverance if that's the case because we are not called to bondage.

    some people seem to think the other person must be bound to them, they will be happy, but they don't really think to ask the other person are they truly happy to be bound to them and what that entails. It works BOTH ways in a marriage. A lot of people, unfortunately are dishonest about that. We are to think of others as better than ourselves. Many people put themselves first and only want marriage because THEY want to be married. Not because the other person necessarily wants it.

    seduction, fornication, adultery..sexual immorality are heathen things. I would say for a believer that to be delivered from that so you aren't even tempted is wonderful. Imagine having to live your whole life constantly attracted to everyone around you. No thanks. You'd be working the streets and making a pile of money, surrounded by porn, but you would have lost your soul.

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