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separeted but living together and still having sex please help me

Discussion in 'Introduction' started by Pamelamoon, Nov 17, 2016.

  1. My story is a little unique and complicated. My husband and I have been married for 1 year. He is a responsible man, hard working doesn't smoke or drink. He has many goals in life and wants to be a professional and to be successful in life. I am a little older than him, he said he married me because he wanted a mature woman to helping build up a future. We were in love with many dreams but married after 3 months of dating. I am a very emotional romantic person but he es not so much. he shows love in a different way of caring and protecting me but I always felt so neede for affection and romanticism. This created a lot of frustration on me and I found myself always complaining about something. Every day we had fights and and I know I was difficult to deal with. He ended up being fed up with the fighting and decided to separate from me. He says he won't leave me until I have a better future and I finish school and he can leave in peace with himself. He says he still loves me but he doesn't want to me married anymore. This week after a week of being sleeping in different rooms, he came to me and wanted to have sex with me, telling me that he didn't want to cheat on me and he wanted to have it only with me. At the beginning I didn't want to because I was feeling used but I finally accepted him. The next day, we went to celebrate our anniversary and we had a nice time and ended up in bed again. We slept in the same bed that night but after that day everything went back to the same,he wishes me good night and goes to his room and I go to mine crying and feeling the loneliest ever praying to God everyday every night to give me my husband back I am desperate, hurt, confused. He still calls me every day on his brake at work he brings me sweets he knows I like, he calls me every day before coming back Home asking if I need something he acts the same way as before but hasn't changed his mind about splitting up one day. Please help me I need advice I am doing my best to be strong but I don't know how long I'll be able to bare this pain thanks you for your advice.
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  2. Hello,

    First, are you both born again Christians? If you are, I would strongly advise you to find pastoral counseling or a Christian marriage counselor. Someone rooted in the true Word of God.
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  3. Everyone is going to hurt you sweetheart, you need to stay with the one's that are worth it.
  4. "Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth." (Colossians 3:2)
  5. He probably loves the part of you that's not controlling, and since you have been married and all the arguments started, he probably feels you became more manipulative. Do you think perhaps you had some small part in this separation?
  6. Pamelamoon - My heart goes out to your pain. While you are going through a complicated separation - since you are still married - you are not violating fornication, adultery, etc.
    That being said - you shouldn't be an in-marriage booty call. You deserve more respect. Is there any way you can truly separate? Like move out separate.

    Are you both believers? Since success is his goal - would he be humble enough to go to Christian relationship counseling? Is he willing to admit weakness?

    After I separated from my Ex-wife about 12 years ago - we didn't have coitus for months. Then one day she asks me why were aren't and I didn't have an excuse - so we jumped in bed. On and off - we repeated our meeting. That was one of the most painful months in my my life. My libido was in charge. As I had not reconnected with my God at the time (I had walked away 'cause I wanted to do what I wanted to do). It took me months to get a grip on my life and what I should be doing. I can feel you're pain. I cried a lot, too.

    If your heart is broken - you can't share it with another. I wish I would have known that 12 years ago.

    Be guarded. Lean on God. Restore you heart. God will give you strength.

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