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rhymarhyma poetry 18

as the candles burn

As I climb ever higher down my rope of dark desire

I see a storm a comin' and the rain is on fire...

A slipknot, taut, suffocating my soul

My body reacts violently, out of control

Uncontrolled chaos seeping deep within my mind

I can peer inside my heart, and it's sadness that I find

Madness shows a future where I don't grow to be old

Icy blue fire, and it burns my soul cold

A tisket, a tasket, a flame-engulfed casket

lowered in the ground inside a sturdy wicker basket

Dirty is the dirt that I begin to inhale

Consumed by the earth, I see a birth, I hear a wail

The soft cries of a stranger, a baby dressed in goat hide

It's the release of the devil... the devil inside

Abomination...castration...performed by his own hand

He grabs me by the throat and screams a single command

"Bow down before me, and I will release you from this place"

Dangling in the air, I cried out for God's grace

and in that silent moment, inside a silent dream

I heard a silent whisper coming from a silent scream

Just before I collapsed, as my world was turning black...

"I hear your cries, child, and I'm taking you back

Your life is in my hand and I'm not finished with you, son

So let it be written, so let it be done"

So I write by candlelight of life past and life anew

and as the candles burn, the flames turn blue

Though I freely walk these streets, sometimes I'm mentally confined
Yesterday, today and tomorrow seem forever entwined
When I think I'm moving forward somebody pushes rewind
Gone are the bars in the windows, but not the bars in my mind

I pray I break these chains, but there's no guarantee
I pray to God for freedom, for freedom from me
I put myself on lock-down and now I can't find the key
I need someone to help me, to help me set me free

Free to walk by someone looking my way
without looking back and having something to say
Free to just keep going and enjoying my day
This is the freedom for which I pray

Free to not wanna fight when someone looks at my date
and to not get mad at the waitress if she reaches over my plate
and to not get loud if the checks not straight
Free to be full of joy and love and not of anger and hate

Free to look over my shoulder and not think someone's always there
and even if someone is, the freedom not to care
Free to always be me, anytime, anywhere
Free to find the me that is in me somewhere

The freedom to be accepting of my ex's new man
To not worry about what I can't control and to control the things I can
To try and understand this is part of God's plan
and that this point in my life was coming before time even began

I'm doing much better but I can do better, I bet
I've come a long way, but not far enough yet
I know in my heart this ain't as good as it'll get
If I just always remember, and never forget;

I am free to forget where I was and to know where I belong
I am free to make right all the things I did wrong
I am free to be great like I was meant to all along
and from the ashes of my past I'll rise up strong
Thirteen days

I put my head in my hands in disbelief

Thirteen days...thirteen days of grief

Two weeks to cherish was far too brief

Thirteen days...thirteen days of grief

Suddenly I realized all my worst fears

Thirteen days...thirteen days of tears

Life isn't always as it appears

Thirteen days...thirteen days of tears

And the tears kept coming like a runaway train

Thirteen days...thirteen days of pain

It seemed like nothing could ever stop the rain

Thirteen days...thirteen days of pain

But then the sun came out and cleared the skies

Thirteen days...thirteen days of whys

It eased my heart and softened my cries

Thirteen days...thirteen days of whys

It was time with my son that I got to enjoy

Thirteen days...thirteen days of joy

To look at, to hold, and to love my baby boy

Thirteen days...thirteen days of joy

So innocent and fragile, like a precious little dove

Thirteen days...thirteen days of love

Now he's playing with the angels, flying high above

Thirteen days...thirteen days of love

I'll never forget his beautiful face

Thirteen days...thirteen days of grace

I know I'll see him someday in a far away place

Thirteen days...thirteen days of grace

Two weeks of the truest love a person can go through

Thirteen days...thirteen days so true

and I know he can hear me when I whisper "I miss you"

Thirteen days...thirteen days so true

it might be me

There's a man on the corner with change in his cup

His sign reads "When you hit rock-bottom you can only go up"

He might be down on his luck, maybe he's there by choice

Nobody knows, because we've never heard his voice

There's a woman on the corner holding a sign

She has a small bag of chips and a bottle of wine

She might be laughing, but maybe she cries

Nobody knows, because we've never seen her eyes

There's a child on the corner sitting with his dad

The boy looks happy, but the man looks sad

He has a guitar, maybe he used to be in a band

Nobody knows, because we've never shook his hand

There's a couple on the corner waving at the cars

dancing, and laughing, underneath the stars

They might have a home, maybe they have no place to go

Nobody knows, because we've never said hello

There's lots of people on the corners, everyday, everywhere

They all came from somewhere, they have a story to share

If you don't want to give them change, maybe a smile...it's free

Only God knows tomorrow, and tomorrow it might be me
no separation

Lost souls aren't lost, and they don't get lonely

We're not the first, the last, or the one and only

We sometimes let ourselves wander, pondering the dark

but it's never pitch-black, there's a glimmering spark

way far away, barely lighting the way

that at our darkest hour ignites a brand-new day

We see it...we hear it...

we feel it...we fear it...

We don't wanna change, so we don't wanna be near it

It's the bright to our soul, the light to our spirit

the flame to our heart, the fire to our mind

When we stray from true love, it's true love that we find

and that flickering spark was just a sign

because there is no separation...Romans 8:39
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