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Brothers & Sister in the Lord,
I could really use some prayer backup. My oldest teen is 15, his name is Joshua (Josh). As I have written in past threads, you know that my kids are
doing well but still require a touch from the Lord after being sexually abuse
two years ago. I really need too have the Lord give me some kind of way to
deal with some of the anger that is coming from Josh when he gets angry.
It all comes down to one thing he told me. I don't trust you because I got abused right under your nose. You could not protect me then and you can't now. Sometimes when he does not want to listen to me he can be very verbally abusive to me. I know where it's coming from. After he goes on for
awhile, I just can't hear anymore and I blow up! I say things that are far from
being Christian, and later I can't sleep because I did not handle myself better and was not strong enough to hold my tongue.
I can literally see the hurt in his eyes when he does what he does. It's almost as if he is fighting himself as the tears fill his eyes. After awhile, when he calms down, he will come to me say he is sorry, hug me. I tell him alright,
we talk and that is that. I confess however, that sometimes I don't want to forgive him for the hurtful things that he says. I do it because I know that I must, but the pain of his words has crushed my heart.
There is no more counseling needed. No more that can be done by human hands. I have been praying for the Lords intervention for a very long time.
I'm not asking for the Lord to take this away from me, but rather to strengthen me in spirit and soul that I can plow through this. On the other
side of this inconceiveable pain, my children are whole. I really need the Lord to hold me right now. Being a single parent I really feel alone right now even though I know that I am not. I guess I'm just tired. Pray for my beloved Joshua and Eric that the Lord will move swiftly in finishing the healing he started so long ago. And that he will make me a better parent and a better
example to my children whom I love with all of my heart.
Strengthen me Oh Lord. I look to the heavens from whence cometh my help.
Hear the cries of my broken heart and be swift to bring the answer that only you can bring. In Jesus Name. Amen
My dear sister,

As I read your words – I saw myself. Though my children were not sexual abuse – I was. Plus I am a single parent of three teenagers. My oldest (hold onto your hat) is name Joshua and oh the battles we went through. What I have learned now – I wish I had before Joshua was going through his rebellious times.

When you said “After he goes on for awhile, I just can't hear anymore and I blow up! I say things that are far from being Christian”, I saw myself. I was at the end of my rope – there was no human support at all and I fought to keep things in control but it didn’t work. I got to the point of being tired of fighting and it is not only with my kids – it was with God himself. I didn’t trust Him to take care of things for me. Yesterday when I was reading a book, I came across a quote that said “If you’re struggling to trust God, it may be because you don’t really know God”. I was floored for it is true.

Now that I’m going through difficult times with my other two – I just listen. A couple of weeks ago my other son was totally embarrassed on stage (he forgot his word to a song he was singing). When he got home he hollered and screamed at me saying it was my fault. I listen and I let him vent. The next day I came to him and said “I am so sorry Philip you had a difficult time yesterday. But I heard that nobody noticed and that the song was good (which is true, I was told) and another thing – I still love you.” That was it.

Yes I still set down the rules but I talk less and trusting God more. Oh have my bad days still but I’m learning to lean. I’m sorry if I went on like that but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. You will be in my prayers dear sister and be encouraged – He is in control even though we think everything is out of control.

God bless,