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Read my story, and can I EVER be forgiven, or am I doomed to eternal damnation, as was Sir Francis Spira (the MISERABLE apostate)?

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In November, 2014, while in the Pitt Memorial Jail, I wrestled and prayed and got down to business with God, until I finally felt myself like I had given over that part of me I had held back from him for over 30 years. I soon found myself thinking, "What is happening to me!" in amazement. It was wonderful, and it was something precious.

I was horribly abusive to the Savior, Who just so loved me nonetheless.

When I’d repent, oh, the sweetness and the calm peace I’d feel.

Once, after repenting of a nasty abusive episode towards Him, I felt the loving words, “You’re not getting rid of me.”

In 2018, I renounced Him and felt something leave inside. NOW I CAN’T GET IT BACK! I am repenting, begging. But it is like God is making it harder and harder to even believe in Him.


Hebrews 6. Hebrews 10. The branches that get cut off the VINE, and are cast into the fire…