A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.
"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," wheezed a second.
"And somehow, the sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember 'em too," said the third.
Hearing just about enough from his buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the foursome at 87-years-old, piped up and said, "Oh my friends, just be thankful we're still on THIS side of the grass!"
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A five year old boy was sitting down to eat when his mother asked him to pray for his meal.
He replied, "Mom we don't have to. We prayed over this last night."
His mother had prepared leftovers from the day before.
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The cycle of mankind (without God) trying to deal with Life:
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, wear this talisman.
1850 A.D. - That talisman is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
---
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold," ........ At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God, Harold? The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."
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A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
---
"Don't be too serious. Only humans laugh. God gave us the gift of laughter so we could celebrate the good times, find enough humor to get us through the bad times, and most importantly to recognize all the many times we discover we are all one people who have so very much in common ... if we relax enough to admit it." -- Edward F. Henderson
"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," wheezed a second.
"And somehow, the sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember 'em too," said the third.
Hearing just about enough from his buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the foursome at 87-years-old, piped up and said, "Oh my friends, just be thankful we're still on THIS side of the grass!"
---
A five year old boy was sitting down to eat when his mother asked him to pray for his meal.
He replied, "Mom we don't have to. We prayed over this last night."
His mother had prepared leftovers from the day before.
---
The cycle of mankind (without God) trying to deal with Life:
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, wear this talisman.
1850 A.D. - That talisman is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.
---
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold," ........ At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God, Harold? The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name."
---
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend said, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
---
"Don't be too serious. Only humans laugh. God gave us the gift of laughter so we could celebrate the good times, find enough humor to get us through the bad times, and most importantly to recognize all the many times we discover we are all one people who have so very much in common ... if we relax enough to admit it." -- Edward F. Henderson
