Prayer warriors needed

[healinhandsman]

You know I never though my life would come to this point, yet I find myself here once again asking my brothers and sisters for prayer. I know that I am free in Christ and free because of Him, yet again, I have dug myself into a hole I cannot get myself out of and seem to get no verbal support from the one person that loves me the most on this earth....Let me start at the beginning;

When I was 26(now 30), I moved to Florida to begin a new life with my current wife (of almost 4 years now!!!Thank you Jesus), I made a huge mistake by moving in with her before marriage. Well, I was always taught, if you can't abstain yourself from the lusts of the flesh, then it is better to marry that person than continue to live in the sin, so I asked her to marry me and we got married. Well things got better and with that off my plate, my life went a bit smoother in that area, well it didn't change the relationship with her children. They did not understand why I couldn't find work in Florida and why I wasn't doing more to find a job, no matter what that job be, which is totally understandable. The work issue had been a huge problem there because there are strict requirements on being a Contractor in Florida due to the intense weather. I did not have the money nor the want to go and apply for classes to take to get my license to operate there. So needless to say I stayed at home and played on the computer 90% of my waking hours to escape the hellish reality I had put myself in and that I did not know a way out of without a lot of people getting hurt. I spent months in "closet time" and finally came to the point where I had hit rock bottom, my wife was working her bottom off paying the bills and trying to be a mom of 3 teens, while I stayed at home, on the computer, playing games and only getting away long enough to do some light housework, to try and alleviate some of the work my wife had to do, which was never enough in my eyes. My solution came a few weeks after I hit bottom in the form of moving back to home to west Texas and starting my residential painting business back up. I discussed it with my wife and she didn't like the idea because it would separate us for 2 years while she stayed and continued to finish raising her kids while I went back home and worked. I can understand her concerns and the fact that she did not want that temptation there to think one or the other is being unfaithful after such a short marriage, yet I knew in my heart of hearts that the only way to get out of the depression was to come back home and start again. I was tired of being taken care of by my wife so I moved. Well long story short, I came home, my wife moved down here a few months after, I have thus far failed to re-jump my business and im back in that depression I was in before, the only thing that has changed is my address.

I have no other way to explain the battle in me other than saying, "I do not want to go to a job that I will quit in a short amount of time after I start due to not being happy there."

Am I being selfish and childish because I want to do something I love to do rather than something I hate?

Am I justifying my laziness by the above explanation?

Is it that I need an accountability partner to help me be the man that I so badly know I should be, so that the woman I am so deeply in love with can take a break and enjoy life?

I am so confused and bitter inside towards myself to have allowed this to go on for 4 years, yet I genuinely do not know of a solution, therefore the reason behind coming to you guys and asking for prayer or at least to come into agreement with me that our Heavenly Father with break the scales of confusion off my eyes and to get the fires of ambition and success burning in my heart so much so that I can get out there and do what I need to do to be the man, GOD, wants me to be, cause it is only his will that matters now, not my wife's, her kids, her family, my family, me, anyone, HIS PERFECT WILL be done in the life HE has borrowed me.

Also, I have been really feeling the yearning for finding a church home here in the town we live in, so come into agreement with me for that as well please?

Thank you so much guys for the prayers ahead of time, I 120% believe that where 2 or more are gathered together and are agreeing about the same thing, there God shall be and He will hear us.

Healin' Hands Man.......

 

[Coconut]

I know the power of prayer...I also know the power of truth if men will hear it. I think if you will listen, the truth will do you more good right now than a thousand warriors, so to be perfectly honest, it seems your asking prayer is just another way you have found to continue to do nothing, while someone else does the work.

I have a few questions for you to think about.

Does your wife "love" the job of carrying you?

If only Gods will matters what are you doing still sitting there refusing to take care of the family He gave you?


This is not a matter for prayer warriors, but a matter of you making a decision to accept responsibility, or do you not know that the scripture says "If anyone does not take care of his own relatives, especially his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." 1Ti 5:8

 

[healinhandsman]

ouch......I deserve that,

Thank you for your stern words coconut, I pray that our Heavenly Father will lift you up and allow you to "hear" the people from under your steeple and truly allow you to have the compassion that people in trouble need. Do me a favor and listen to the song "Does anybody hear her" By Mercy Me.

Once again I thank you and hope your days ahead will be fruitful and full of wisdom from the Trinity.....

I wish to add to my previous post some things were not clear, when my wife moved here with me, she left behind her twins because their father wouldn't allow them to move out of the state, also I didn't mean that marrying my wife to get out of the sin was the ONLY reason, I meant it was a reason of priority. I am deeply in Love with my wife and that is why I am constantly plagued by this depression spirit that I continue to allow to get me down, I dont need a handout people and never asked for one, all I ask for is some back up. Sometimes when we fall, we can't get back up, so we need a little help to get back up and continue the good fight. I love you all....

Yes, I have not been a good steward of what God has given me and I appreciate your prayers....

Healin Hands Man

 

[rlowe]

I am praying for you & your family (immesdiate & extended).

One question:
You mentioned In Florida, you wanting to be being a Contractor, but unable to because there are strict requirements there due to the intense weather. So why don't you try that in Texas?

Praying for God's insight, solution, courage, strength to find the job your to have & soon.

 

[healinhandsman]

hi rlowe,

I have taken the appropriate steps to re-open my business here and have succeeded in getting a few odd jobs that made little to nothing, yet I know if I am faithful and do it with a willing heart God will open better doors. Thanks for replying and thanks for your prayers, I will pray for you and yours as well

 

[savedtoserve]

i can understand you pain of not being able to provide but what i cannot understand is why are you so selfish about it, you say you love your wife, why have you not took the blinkers of to what you wife has done for you, and your marriage, leaving children to a mum is like leaving your heart behind, you would not ever have the knowledge of such pain but i can assossiate with your wife doing this, i left my children in ireland to move to england to be with my husband 9 years ago and it broke my heart but i loved my husband and i was commanted from God to do likewise.
Why are you making this all about yourself, there are 2 people in a relationship and when God is the head there are 3, so if you have done all what you say you have both you and your wife and it has not been the will of God then you work in vain.
Ephesians 6:6
Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart;
I have had to face some hard realities myself in my marriage and Gods word has always led me remember please
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

you can not hear Gods voice because you are willing to open yourself up to the possiblities that He is going to give you something to do that YOU do not want to do.
If you are living in God then live wholey and completely open your heart to him, i do not know any step partent that has had an easy time, but ask yourself this, HAS GOD EVER TOLD YOU LIFE WOULD BE EASY?I pray that God willl reveal to you His will and His way for you to work, I also pray that you will find the strength to give compassion and full understanding to you wife and what she has done for YOU.
God bless you in all that lays ahead, i look forward to reading a Godly report.
Blessing in Christ Brother.