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pops or dad

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@Br. Bear @RJ

You suggested putting it here Br.Bear

Thanks both for your answer as on introduction forum

Pops was the name given to all children and family members. An enderarment.
It was how my new husband introduced himself to my children when we met

All very kosher till we married
Then he demanded they call him dad and whoa I mean demanded

But they dont feel comfortable with that.
Especially when his girl from previous his misses calls him pops still

Seems unfair
Im stuck between him and the kids

what shall I do?

Church arent much help they see my confusion but they see him as a bit of a scary character too

Sorry cant get online much to reply so be patient with me


Im stuck between him and the kids
what shall I do?
Since you asked:
If the husband will agree, between family, friends and a professional, you need some serious family counseling. The focus should be on the kids well being, and since you offered it, why do others see your husband as "a bit scary" ?
Staff Member
Dear @susiejw
I could not help but read about the dilemma you find yourself in. If I was a woman, which I'm not, but have been married going on 32 or is it 33? Hummm.......anyway this is what I would say..................

I would kindly let him know he has a decision to make and that he has three choices!

One: Everyone calls him "Pops"

Two: Everyone calls him "Dad"

Three: Everyone calls him "Pops or Dad". Whichever one they feel endears them to him or him to them.

Four: Oh, I forgot there's a fourth one. Honey, since you scare the hell out of the folks at church, I want you at the next service, to be at the door and shake every ones hand as they leave and you must have a great big smile on your face, like the way you do when I make your favorite meal (fill in the meal). (Pause and look at him in the eyes with the mom look you women I'm sure practice when no one is looking and say....) And yes you can't crush their hands when you shake them either! (With the look of love that makes men wonder how they could be so blessed. You say....) You've got a heart of gold honey and I want everyone to know it, and realize how blessed I am to have such a fine husband as you. Then as he looks at you shocked. Ask him what he wants for dinner. Mentioning his favorite food and his least favorite food. Then after he tells you his favorite food or if he's still speechless. Tell him you love him and that he'll make the right decision. Then kiss him on the check or forehead and go start prepping for fixing his favorite meal! :thumbsup:

Will it work? I don't know, but it seems a bit unreasonable, with a touch of scary that he's demanded your children and not his own address him in the same way. The same way I'm sure you make his daughter and your own children feel special is the way he should make yours & his feel special as well. Family is Family!

Hope it works out for everyone Susie!
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