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Please somebody help me.

Discussion in 'Prayer Request' started by omarkidd1, Aug 24, 2013.

  1. To start off my name is omar I am only 17 years old. I recently lost my girlfriend of 16 months I know it's not a long time but she was my first love, my first kiss, my first everything

    and to be honest before I met her I was in various relationships that all left me heartbroken but she actually cared about me and showed me she loved me.

    I've heard it all before "theirs more fish in the sea", "life moves on" I don't want another fish and I want to move on with her next to me, sorry for how ignorant and selfish I sound.

    It's been about a week it's not much I know but I feel like I'm dying I lost my appetite I've been really depressed and crying mainly all day and when I'm not I'm sleeping or praying.

    I pray everyday and all my prayers are left unanswered. Please if someone will take the time and pray for me, you don't know how grateful I will be. May good be with each and everyone of you, and bring you happiness to your lives. Please pray for me every single day if you can, please I need it, really really bad. Thank you.
  2. #2 Chad, Aug 24, 2013
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2015
    Hi @omarkidd1

    You're 17, bro you are very young to worry about relationships. I understand your feelings and pain but believe me there's plenty of life ahead of you. Don't put any woman or anything for that matter above God. God provides what us best for you. Just trust Him.

    “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. ​

    • Luke 12:27-31​
  3. #3 omarkidd1, Aug 24, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2015
    @Chad i know im only 17 i realize this ive heard it all before. but i really really want her i dont want anybody else, i did in the past put her even before god but i learned that was wrong and i pray to god to give us a second chance and have him guide me through my relationship and keep god as my first priority, i have faith that he can help me and i wont loose faith and i wont give up regardless of what people tell me, i just ask for your prayers. please and thank you.
  4. #4 rizen1, Aug 24, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2015
    Hello Omar,
    I wanted to repost your original thoughts and point something out.

    I can sense your pain, please know time does heal ALL wounds. In 5yrs you'll look back and laugh at this, sitting next to you will be the same girl you're crying over. You never know. It's best to give her space, respect her decision and take care of yourself. As @Chad mentioned above, " Don't put any woman or anything for that matter above God." There's nothing wrong with crying, I believe it's healthy. What is unhealthy is prolong sadness that leads to depression, what you're experiencing right now.

    Matthew 11:28-30
    28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

    Trust me when I say he gives you rest. It's a peace like no other, no drug can satisfy this peace he gives. I don't want you crying over this, I know it seem like you're whole world have broken into pieces, but look to God. Imagine how, you're heavenly father feels right now knowing you're destroying your temple over a relationship ( not eating ). Please eat, if you don't have an appetite, drink a protein rich shake, have some chicken soup. When all fails you won't believe what the best medicine for a broken heart is.

    Proverbs 17:22
    22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

    Do you have a favorite comedy, watch it and have a good laugh.
    I'll start you off with this.
    cat dance to michael Jackson - YouTube

    I'm sorry I love cats so that was bais. You get my drift, time to shift your mind from all the sadness and find something to laugh about. release some healthy hormones while you're at it.

    Distract yourself , exercise, walk, run, jog, swim, leap, fly ( if only we could lol ). Spend time with God, ask him to reveal things about you that need to work on, allow yourself to mature and use this time to be who God wants you to be. When " the One, " shows up you will be ready.

    Now lets focus on what you wrote, look at everything I highlighted and tell me what is missing from your original post.

    Yes, lots of I (s), my(s), wants , needs but you never mention, " I LOVE HER. "
    I can not see your heart, therefore I can not say you don't love her. Instead I ask you, to ask yourself how come you didn't use such language. Usually in these situations we would exaggerate the story or feelings for people to feel our pain or side with us. I don't need you to answer this publicly, but do some personal reflection of these past 16mths.

    This makes everything more painful, but I have to ask you to ask yourself , " where you emotionally dependent on her, due to the security she gave you ?"

    A week is a very short time, for you to be this overwhelmed by the ending of the relationship.

    Very strong feelings for a week. Usually this would be the denial stage, " he/she will be back, this is temporary. Stage 2, is reality check season, no phone calls, missing share activities , the realization that it's really over. Step 3, Final stage moving on with your life.

    Lost is a strong word of choice. What took her away ?

    Without much details ( it's not needed) and no request as to what " You," should do to win her back, I'd say leave it alone and trust God.

    There's only one thing a healthy relationship can do and thats grow. If the relationship was not healthy you did not lose anything. In your story No blame was placed on her or you, she just got lost, .......your words , "

    I pray that God will give you peace, wisdom and a hunger for his Word. That you will use this time to allow God to prepare you for his work and your future spouse. No human being should become such an idol in our lives, to make us want to sacrifice our life for them.

    Praise God in this storm, you'll be fine and who knows she'll be standing there with you. We serve the God who command us to have/serve no other Gods but Him. Give her space, don't become obsessive over what she's doing. Read the bible, spend time with God and laugh out loud.
    Take care
  5. I would be happy to pray for you Omar, but God will not coerce anyone into a relationship, its a cornerstone of who God is. God loves us so much, that first and foremost He puts choice above having paradise on earth. So He will not coerce your ex into getting back together with you. Its up to you to do the right thing if you want to get her back. Start praying to God if you want to know what that right thing(s) is.
  6. I am praying that God will have His Way in this situation according to His will. Whatever the answer is with regard to the girlfriend, I also pray that Omar will trust God to always know what is the best thing.
  7. #7 Fragrant Grace, Aug 24, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2015
    Greetings @omarkidd1

    You have had some very good replies which I don't want to add to

    But there is something I am compelled to say.....not intending to take the thread off topic

    I noticed in your profile that you say you are not born again, but you are 'planning to be'

    The most important thing that you need to do is accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, repenting and believing that He died on the cross to save you and asking Him come into your heart and life. He loves you far more than any girlfriend and wants you to be His.

    You will never know real peace until you truly know Jesus

    He will then be your guide in life, your strength, your source of comfort
    Your all!

    With Jesus as your strength you will be able to deal with the hurts and sadness of loosing a girlfriend because He holds you in His everlasting arms and gives you perfect peace and comfort.

    For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten Son that whosover believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life
    John 3:16
  8. #8 omarkidd1, Aug 24, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2015
    @rizen1 thank you for taking the time to thoroughly go ever basically everything i said i still talk to her but its mainly makes me more sad mainly at night when i miss everything about her and have nothing on my mind, i have been so tempted and on the verge of giving up and loosing my faith in god because he does not answer my prayers and bring her back to me, but i try and remain strong and try and keep my faith. i will try and not move from the path of god, ill try to read the bible as much as i can, and im planning on joining the gym soon to take my mind off her, i dont have many friends, 2 to be exact but we still do fun things and i will not allow my depression to push them away, by the way if i did forget to mention if i loved her, she was my first love so yes. and ill keep my faith, i really appreciate your time and effort, ive been really obsessive over her waiting for her to text me staring at my phone, finding the strength to no text her. she says she wants to be friends, but i know it will be hard if i ever see her with another guy. ill try and give her some space, i aggreed to be friends with her and i admit in the past i did hold her at a higher position over god which i know was very wrong, ill let the lord guide me from now on and if he leads me into another relationship then i will make him my 1st priority and let him guide me and my future girlfriend. i feel alot better now reading what you wrote to me, its nice knowing that someone would take the time to do this for me, ive never really felt worth much in my life but im not as sad now, and im going out with friends today so i should enjoy my day, thank you once again you dont know how much this means to me. god bless you
  9. I understand your feelings. When I was younger I lost a girlfriend that I cared about. At the time I thought we were perfect together and there was no reason we should be apart. Looking back now after being married almost 9 years to a different person I see all of the things I couldn't see at the time. There are things you may not realize now that could produce problems later down the road. God may be preparing you to be in another situation with a divine meeting. I never would have imagined the relationship that I have now, nor the kids that I have. These are things that God was able to provide for me.
    The youth leader for my church when I was in Junior High was looking for a wife constantly. He struggled between keeping his focus on God and His will and finding a woman. He gave up a lot of opportunities to keep his focus on God and women that he could have settled for. 15 years later he is now married and expecting his first child. He only got married a year ago, so that is a long time to wait. But talking to him now he is glad for the wait.
    Lastly, there was a man Horatio Spafford. He was a wealthy man in the 1800's, he lost all of his wealth that he had invested in homes in a Chicago fire. He was then going to go somewhere and sent his wife and daughters ahead. The ship sank and he lost all but his wife. He wrote a song, "It is well with my soul."

    It Is Well With My Soul
    (Original lyrics)

    When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.

    It is well, (it is well),
    With my soul, (with my soul)
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.

    Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
    Let this blest assurance control,
    That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
    And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

    My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
    My sin, not in part but the whole,
    Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
    Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

    For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
    If Jordan above me shall roll,
    No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
    Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

    But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
    The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
    Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
    Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

    And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
    The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
    The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
    A song in the night, oh my soul!

    You are in pain but God can and will help you. He gave everyone free will and that means she can choose her own way. This is why we must never put faith in people or relationships, they are fallible. You will be fine in awhile, you will have peace again. I have been there and the more you focus on God and fellowship the better you will feel and the faster you will get over this.

    I will pray for you. God Bless.

  10. Omar: Real hurt like what you have proberly cuts real deep inside. I think some of us can relate to that deep pain that even make breathing hard. Ok, believe me this is all a part of becoming a man. When someone really loves you and you can hardly believe she loves you, that's amazing for being 17. Most likely you know parental love, and that is very important as we grow up. But whne we feel love from yound woman that's something very different, right? That love is awesome, and it is a new experience most likely.

    Now let's talk really honest with each other. Real love endures, and there is a commitment to be with each other. Omar, that kind of love is called marraige. That young woman did not have that kind of love. It hurts to hear I don't love you any more. So you feell rejection, that really hurts. Rejection takes time to get over. How much time it takes all depends on you.

    Here is some things to think about in the mean time Omar. Your self worth does not depend of having a young woman to say she loves you today and then stops loving you. In order to learn something that you can grow through this experience, and become a bett man thik on this. God wants to direct you path because He loves you. No love you will ever find while you are alive on this earth is as everlasting, looking out for the very best for you. His love will never fail or leave you. He loves YOU, Omar so much He sent His Son Jesus Christ to die in you place for your and my sins. Most likely you know there is a price to pay for our doing things that God has said we are not to do, that's called sin. So we either accept what Jesus has done for us, or we will pay for our own sins instead. The price we pay is eternally spent away from God in hell. I don't think that's a smart move, so I accepted Jesus Christ and His paymnet for my sime. I became a follower of Jesus Christ, because He loved me that much, which is totally awesome to me. I have learned that his direction is always the better way, and Jesus really loves me beyond what words can express. Have you let Jesus pay for your sins?

    God wants you to be loved by a wife someday too. Omar unless you experience being loved, like this young woman loved you for that short time, you would not know what love is. Love grows in us so we can share love. God allows different womne we date to see what it is we want in a person we marry. We see good trates in others and eventually when the "real Love of our life, God has for us, that we will know her when she is there. Some men are blessed to find the woman God has for us fairly quickly. Others like me, I was 24 when I ment and dated my wife and we got married ten months later. On Sept. 5th we will be married 44 years. So my words are backed up by our life together.

    I too experienced a couple of broken heat experiences. But I learned my selfworth comes from a far different source. Learning from where our selfworth comes from is something many people refuse to know. Selfworth is developed for some through hanging out with drinkers at a bar. Some young men learn selfworth from hanging out with boy's smoking outside of school in the 8th grade. There are all kinds of places we can hang out to get and learn selfworth. The very best person and place to learn selfworth is Jesus Christ and in the Church. God will teach us our selfworth, when we fully understand that He loves us so much He sent Jesus Christ to save us from eternally being away from Him in Heaven, and instead by choice going to hell. Have you ever heard this before?

    If you have a Bible or New Testament open it to John and read those chapters. If you know a Pastor or know some that really knows Jesus Christ please read John, and talk with a Christian or pastor.

    I pray you will learn about growing up in life and Jesus Christ.


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