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Please, I SOOO need some help...

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by RelyingOnHim, Mar 8, 2013.

  1. Hi,

    I recently lost the love of my life. It's been about 5 weeks now and it still hurts so bad. We had a great relationship and connected at a level I've never experienced. We were planning on getting married but it all fell apart when she decided that she was being led by the Spirit to end the relationship. (Its odd that she came to this decision after a Christian counselor and I were pressing her to confront her issues with her divorce.) She still texts me every day and yesterday she told me she had met someone else...IT'S ONLY BEEN 5 WEEKS!!!

    I still pray that we will reconcile, and I'm in His Word and praying constantly. I don't understand why this would be His will!!! Last year, we sat and made vows to each other in front of Him and prayed with each other. We broke bread and drank wine to remember His sacrifice. Jesus said that vows we make on earth will be honored in heaven. Why would He lead her away then?

    I'm so lost and confused. I find myself begging Him to come NOW!!! I need to be raptured NOW!!! That's the only way I can go on!!!

    Please pray for me. And please pray for her - to confront her issues and deal with her divorce properly and see our relationship as something that is worth fighting for. The peace she says she feels in her decision can't be from God - He wouldn't lead her to break promises and vows.

    Thank you guys so much....
  2. I am praying for God have His will with both you and her. He always knows why, even when we do not. He is always able to help even when we haven't got a clue.
  3. We MUST know ? HE knows best ! I know it hard when we think we know best ! But He has taught me , He Always knows best!
    He sees the future , we do not !
    We must put our faith in HIm , not our thinking ! Praise HIm worship HIm , Give HIM glory ! Then HE will reveal all to you ! I know what it is too be rejected ! Thank GOD you did not have kids ! They really suffer in these break ups ! We do to of course ! But it worse when we see them suffering !

    The Question becomes ? Do we believe HIM ? Rom_8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

    He LOVES US more than we LOVE ourselves ! Believe that !
  4. #4 Thiscrosshurts, Mar 8, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2013
    Joy,light,life,peace and strength to you in Christ.
    You are a soldier of life and your user name suggests you already posses the necessary weapon to
    to overcome every enemy.

    Since you are a dad you have got to focus on getting your joy and strength back because there are eyes on you.
    I pray the Lord lead you and guide you into the all encompassing knowledge of his glory.
    Also that he send you medics to restore your joy and strength.

    John 15:11 These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

    John 17:26 “And I have revealed to them your Name, and I am revealing it, so that the love with which you have loved me shall be in them, and I shall be in them.”

    Thank you Father revealing your name,your love,your joy,and your glory to each and every person connected to or affected by this situation.
    I know Father that it is always your will that they walk in your Spirit and that you live in them and that the love you have for Jesus lives in them and that thier joy be full, so I thank you that you began that good work in them and you are faithful to bring it to completion..
    These things I ask in the name and divine plan of Jesus Christ.
  5. What was her issue with divorce?
  6. I read your post and then your profile. Seldom does the husband really understand how serious issues are, and he thinks that all of a sudden from no where the wife is asking for a divorce. Generally most husbands act clueless as tho why their wife has filed for divorce. By the time he really thinks about it he may have a vague idea why she has left, by then the divorce is done and is over. What I have just described is sadly what happens a lot of times.

    Often women will describe how they "feel" and a men will use "think", generally men take real effort to shift gears from thinking to get in touch with their feelings. If a husband has ignore the wife and her feelings, and this has gone on a good number of years, it may bee to late. Unless a man can begin to see his faults, and not blame the wife for all their problems, it becomes a up hill battle with little hope.

    Unless the Husband surrenders to Christ and becomes a follower of Jesus and treats his wife as a equal partner in a covenant marriage, I see almost no hope. But is the husband has a deep change in his soul, there is great hope of renewal of the marriage. I encourage you to go to a Christian counselor, or your pastor, if he is qualified.

    Now here is something I am sure will help. Get the movie FIRE PROOF, and the Boof LOVE DARE. Then read 1 PETER, 2PETER, and 3 PETER. I sincerely believe there is hope for your marriage IF you put forth the effort to reach out to your wife, and you take the steps I have told you about. May God bless and heal you and her.
  7. You are a Christian. If you are praying for God's will in your life, He may have have answered your prayer. How great would the pain be if it were two years from now and she was pregnant when she left.

    God may have plans for you for which a formerly divorced wife would disqualify you.

    Give God your broken heart and tell him your will Lord over and over and over and cry your heart out, but mean it. I Did when I was young.
  8. H everyone,
    Thank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. They are greatly appreciated.

    A little more background. We were engaged last spring but ended it because we realized that we needed to work on things. We stayed together and started seeing a christian counselor, which helped alot. In December, she really wanted to get engaged again, so we did. Things were great.

    Her issues: she was divorced because her husband decided he was gay. Also, her husband has 2 sisters - both are also gay....along with her best friend. Since she had no family left, she bonded deeply wirh his family. When her mother in law was dying, she promised her that she would always have sunday dinner for her father in law. Several years after that, her husband came out and left for another man. To this day, they still have sunday dinner, her ex comes over whith his partner. She hugs him every time they get together. At the kids events, its not that we're there and he's there but we have to sit with him and talk with him. He's at the house every holiday and event.I often expressed a problem with this but she always convinced me I was being unrealistic. We then talked about it with the counselor and the counselor said that she needed to tell the ex no more sunday dinners. A week later she said that she couldnt do it because she was afraid it would hurt the kids. She knew that she had an issue and was very upset about possibly loosing the relationship. A week later,she said that she felt that God didnt want her in this relationship, handed the ring back,and didnt even shed a tear. She said that she just had a peace about it.

    That was 5 weeks ago. Now she says that she's just wants to follow God, she doesnt thing we were meant to be together because we pull each other away from God (huh?), oh and she met someone new.
    Im confused and have no idea what God wants from me or why He let this happen.
  9. I know it sounds a bit Harsh ? But we need to trust in Him and ASK the Holy GHOST to lead US !

    Just try to get closer to the LORD , so you can hear HIM WELL! Then He will reveal what He has for you !

    Fasting is a Good thing to do !
  10. I am sorry for your pain. My feeling is tha tshe met that "someone else" before she asked for the breakup.
  11. Sounds like she is still in love with her ex-husband, and wants another man who will accept her non-sexual (but still deeply in love with) love with her ex while gaining sexual intimacy with the new man (she might even deep down want to steal her ex back to ruin his relationship in reprisal). She is in denial, and as long as she cant see the truth in her situation, she will not be a woman you should pair yourself with. But prayer can always work wonders, you should at the least pray for her.
  12. Thank you all. Great input that eases my soul and confirms my feelings. I truly do not believe she met someone before we broke up. I do believe that she left because I asked her to esentually choose between her ex (ie old life) and me. Her plan after we got married was for me to move into her house (the one she shared with her ex), get rid of my dog, not change any decor, and deal with her ex always around. Oh, and my daily commute would have become 1.5 hours each way. I think that was kimd of selfish. But I still love her so very much.

    Why would she be so upset about loosing me and then be fine with it thr next week? Why would she start seeing someone else, knowing she has this baggage. If God is leading her and grantimg her peace, why wont He do the same for me?
  13. Godly sorrow is often good for the soul. The peace she has isnt nessesarily from God. Its normal to grieve when your heart is broken, and if hers is not broken, then her love for you was less love and more desire for your body or the security you might have provided. I know you will still feel hurt, but you are very fortunate to have seen this before you were married. Its time to begin the healing process, and understand shes not even for your own good.
  14. Mat_5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
    Luk_6:28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

    When we can do that ? WE LOVE!
    Jn_4:7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

    I know how it is to be hurt ! Most do!
  15. Thank you all for your responses. I read them a couple times a day. They help me to gain strength and perspective.
    I'm not mad at her and I pray for her to be healed, for her to find God's plan for her and for us to be reconciled. I also pray for God's healing and peace. I just cant grasp this. I cant even begin to accept it...Im trying to but I just cant. Where is He? Why wont He intervene? I know His ways arent mine, but He controls everything, He has to see me and know how much this hurts. After 2 divorces (both not my idea) and now this, I cant take anymore! I look to Him, I sit in silence in His presence and I hear nothing. I thought I heard Him say "wait...september" once but maybe it was my imagination. I dont know....I think Im dying. Please Jesus, I know you're coming soon, your signs are all around, please come now...RIGHT NOW! You're the only one that can save me, the only one I have. Dont lesve me here!!!!! Why cant I feel Him. Why cant I hear? Where are you???? She was honest and wholesome. She searched for God and He took care of her. What about me????
  16. You say you are relying on God to act upon your prayers and vows. Keep doing so. Do not give up hope. Everything has a season. If the one you love is married, God cannot honor more than a friendship between you two. It may be true that God told them to stop your relationship. It seems the season has come for your friend to deal with their marital status. Direct your prayers to their marriage and that your friend understand Gods word about adultery. To be married and just to think about being with another is adultery. Be praying for these people. It is the right (righteous) thing to do and God will hear and respond. When you both are ready and in right situations in your lives, maybe then He will honor your vows and prayers about your relationship.
  17. So even though she is divorced because her husband decided he was gay and is with another guy I should pray for them to reconcile? I don't understand. I thought if a marriage ended and one was with another person then they couldn't be reconciled. Not sure what to do or where to go. I'm afraid I might start getting mad at God for this. What happened to all His promises for good and peace?
  18. #18 Thiscrosshurts, Mar 9, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2013
    Mark 10:8 “And the two shall be one flesh; after that they are not two, but one flesh.”
    Mark 10:9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

    "Let not man separate" is not a suggestion it is a divine command like "let there be light".
    The marriage covenant itself is a manifestation to the world of the heavenly concept of Christ and the church.

    Ephesians 5:31 Therefore, a man should leave his father and his mother and should cleave to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh.
    Ephesians 5:32 This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.

    Both of you were hurt by your first spouses and until those things are resolved the hurt will result in fear,panic and skittish behavior.
    The pain you feel is evidence of hooks and it will drag you around by your emotions.
    Darkness needs your attention and your focus,it wants you to explore every wrong in the situation and to magnify it over and over in your mind.God desires your attention and your focus,he wants you to explore every glorious work of his hand and to magnify him over all your fears,tears and enemies,he wants to give you joy and to reveal his love and glory to you over and over in your mind and he wants to fill your heart with himself.

    Stay away from the hooks and lines and sinkers and let love rein supreme.
    Lust, adultery and every other foul action are just fishermen but unbelief is the captain of that boat.
    Jesus said he will make us fishers of men and we have a tried and truth captain.

    God has awesome peace that is the only thing worthy of wrestling for but that's just the bait.
    Wait till he see what's for dinner.

    Perhaps God would have you pray for the spouse of your youth and for her original spouse.

    You don't have to wait for Jesus,just read John ch. 17 and you will see what I mean.
    Peace,joy,power,strength,love and clarity of mind I speak to you in Jesus name and work.
  19. I have read through all of your posts and I only get one feeling from them. You want what you want. You have made up your mind that you know what is best. You are blaming God for the free will that your loved one has. Well, these are her choices. Would you really want God to force her to be in a relationship with you? If she is moving that fast to another relationship, then there is a void she is trying to fill. Right now you both need to focus on God. She is using men and you are using her.
    God does bring good and peace. We are disrupting His work. I am not trying to be mean when I say these things, but if you are saying you might start getting mad at God for this, then maybe you need to put more effort into understanding God and having a relationship with Him. You cannot rely on a human being, we are fallible. God will never leave you.
  20. If you have not been married before and if you have not been involved sexually with each other, this might well be for the best. Often the level of sexual involvement can cause a christian woman to wonder if she had not become so bonded to a person she would have left long ago. Long engagements do set up couples to step over the line, and guilt will bother couples that either change the saye closer or the guilt will cause a brake up. I am not saying that's your problem. However when you marry a person that has been married before there is bagage that comes with the. Sometimes children, debts, or promises made they will noy brake. You either accept her as she is or walk away. Keep in mind if there is not a Biblical reason for the divorce than she and you need to rethink this marriage.

    I am not saying any of thses situations are any of your issues. Blessings

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