Out Of Touch With You're Children ?

[Mike]

As a parent , our worlds get busy and our children start to seem far away from us . I know that I am being watched everyday by my kid's ! Children feel like nobody is listening at times , and this can make them feel insecure inside . What we do to close the gap between our kid's and my wife and I , is tell our kid's to write down ten ways that they think would make us better parents , and better helpers for them . Of course , the first time you will get ten request to go to toy's R us ! But they do take this time serious , and so do we . After the list are turned over to us , we gather with our children , and discuss all the request . Some we cannot change , and we explain that to them . But many times there are things that are very important to them , and we make these a priority in our family functions . This allows our kids to feel involved , and gives my wife and I insight as to how we look in front of them . Children are very honest , and we never try to defend ourselves , but rather ask them for more input as to how to solve the area's that are lacking . I hope this will help some parents in their great call to bring up our children in the way they should go , so when they are old they will not depart from God . Mike

 

[peeps]

Hi BrotherinArms4G. . .good toppic . . .

as a few of you know already we have children too . . .teenagers as well as younger ones. . .

My hubby and I are still pretty young too and kinda grow with our children through the years . . .and as christian parents too. . .

There is still sooo much room in my sponge to soak up whats to learn . . .and I am very happy to learn a lot about all ages here on TJ also!!

Anyway. . .

one of the things we have found out workin for us was. . .how to keep in contact with your teens gettin older without loosing contact. . .

In Germany you are allowed to go out to clubs and stuff starting with 16 years of age . . .Thats how I grew up. . .I am German. . .my hubby is american for him it was a shock. . .

Our daughters, now 16 and 15 years old, have grown up in Germany for the last 7 years. . .made german friends . . go to german schools. . .of course

sooooo now. . .that we knew what it meant to be at this age in this country we started this year to meet especially with our daughters once a week . . .

we didnt pick the weekend evenings. . .friday and saturday. .. because thats when they go to the movies. . .birthdayparties. . meet their friends. ..

we asked them to meet with us on Tuesdays. . .and exchange things goin on. . .things comin up. . .things we liked or disliked . . .and so on and so on. . .

we asked everyone to make this a priority in their lives too. . .which means to be on time.. .and not just forget about it . .. so all four of us remind each other and hang in there. . .

its still real new this year. . but it is very helpful to stay in contact with our older ones. .. and they know everything whats going on with us and stuff too. . .they care and ask . .. no old grumpy thoughts . ..or things what happens on weekends or not will be picked up at that time, no old leftover things what didnt get taken care of because of our hectic everyday life

(this does not mean that they tell us all :shade: )

But it gives a chance to complain on the spot about last weeks happenings or so. .. if you cant get your mouth open then. ..oh well . ..dont be mad about it later. .at least you can offer a chance to complain. ..


. . .we can just hang out and have fun. . .we have had a movie night too . .. just watchin a movie together. .. but it is just us four older ones . .without the little ones. ..

That was pretty much it. . .just wanted to bring this little dusty thread back out . . .and hear from you parents. . .what do you all do to stay in contact with your kids. ..

May God continue to bless you in your direction and keep you safe

 

[craggles]

Good to see this is a topic of discussion. Hope I can help in any way. My life is dedicated to helping parents and teen in particular, understand each other. Happy to answer any questions.

 

[ICHTHUS]

Well. as a kiddie. you all said that i coudl put up what i though...

so... my parents dont really do much for me in the way of how we can become closer and also i guess because i dont trust them because i feel that if i tryst them then i am left vanurable agaian and will prob end up gettign hurt again but me i am more busy with doign my own thing. i am only home for 1 full day wiht my parents and that is on a Saturday all the other days i have school and Church and then i do activities after school so i dont see much of my parents but i wish Mike that my parents woudl take up your idea!!! i like it... LOL


Love Simon!!!

 

[stacy]

help!

I`m sorry if i am in the wrong place. I was wondering if anyone had heard of this. my sons 18th b-day is tomottow.I am a single mom, it`s just been me and jeremy for 10 yrs. and this emotional time has really caught me off guard..i`ve been crying for days...now i understand the empty nest, wxcept he is still here!! on saturday i will be taking him to a informal b-day in the annex of our church. i want to make it a "blessing party"..with special scriptures etc. i have a letter to read to him and a letter to read to our very special church family who have adopted us. especially my son these past 5 yrs. My son has a very tender heart and loves all of our friends. my idea was to wrap a box leaving the top open and inside have blessings of paper tied in a little scroll to let each church family member how much they have blessed us. has any of you ever heard of this:?
any other ideas?
i know i am getting a late start, any ideas would be appreaciated.
God bless, stacy

 

[ICHTHUS]

sorry i have never herd of thus before it is soundsing cool to me though. like REALLY cool. but then againa i dunno i guess...

Love Simon!!!

 

[AlabasterBox]

Stacy,

Praise the Lord that you have found such a wonderful, supporting church family.

Your desire to let them know how much they mean to you is such a great idea. The way you have planned sounds pretty special to me. :thumbs_up

Go for it.

Your sister in Christ,
AlabasterBox :girl:

:rainbow:

 

[Heather-Anne]

u sound like quite a kool dad brothersinarms, i never heard of anyones dad doin this b4! ! !

yeah i wud write down so much junk on my list ha!. like get me a mp3 and game box and stuff ha! but then wen i got over it i wud write dunno anythin really that was botherin me i guess.

my dad never wud. i think your kids will be like you when they grown up and be readin the bible and all. i wud if i had a dad like u.

 

[Mike]

Thank you Heather-Anne . I have been so blessed already just knowing that you are here . We all love you Heather . I know it's hard to understand but we really do . :boy_hug: Mike

 

[Cognitive]

Thank you Mike for your wisdom.

I have 4 children with 1 due tomorrow.

My eldest girls are 7 and 8 as soon as they arrive home from school, I will try it for first time. I will copy the lists they write here, after I have explained to them why we cant keep a pony. The material side don't matter but as you say the spiritual matters will soon come along.

Stacy I will pray for you, And please let God carry your burdens as well as us. Try not to worry. Whenever worry comes near to my heart, I smile think of God and my worry becomes easier to bear.

 

[Cognitive]

Well my lists have been completed.

My 8 year old Dayton completed hers first.

1, Buy more melons and pinapels. (pineapples of course)
2, No going to work so you take us more places.
3, To teach us Jesus.

She could only manage 3, but loved her list all the same.

My 7 year old Whitney writes.

1, 3:30 4:30 do some lessons.
2, Plases acassonaly (she explained she wanted me to take her places more)
3, DoveDale more (Its a place we go in the Lake District, only 3 times a year)
4, Spend more time with me.
5, Go fields more.
6, Help me with my homework.
7, Play with me.
8, Smile.
9, Less trumps.
10, Dont take 3 hours on the loo.

Thanks Mike Its so simple yet so effective. :thumbs_up