Hi, I'm 23.
My name is Stacey.
I am lucky.
Grew up a pagan.
My mother got saved.
I didn't.
I went to church, bored out of my mind by it.
Couldn't see, or have faith for any of it.
But years after, I was saved.
I would like to believe it was Jesus who came down and saved me in a dream.
I could not look upon his face. It was a brilliant white light, in the form of a man.
All i could do was get on my knee's and my, face to the floor.
All i could say was~
"oh holy oh holy oh holy" And beg him not to send me to hell.
( that was the thought in my mind, after watching the world end.. fire rain from the sky and people burning up like ashes on a cigarette )
Everyone was screamings. And i felt desolate, alone. I saw my mother die before me. And at that time i thought i hated her most in the world.
She started to burn up, i screamed and cried and grabbed onto her arm. But it was too late, and my whole arm burnt off my body trying to cling to her for the last time.
I was the only one left, i knew i was next.
I started to ask for another chance, at the time i didnt even know who was talking too.. I kept yelling "let me repent" "Let me go back" "give me one more chance"
I was so dumb then, i didnt even know what repentance was.. couldnt understand why i was saying it.
As i was asking, a man came upon me in a bright light. That is when i dropped to my knee;s and practically rubbed my face in the dirt. It was like i couldn't get low enough to show my humble respect. After asking him again to let me repent as i weeped the deepest tears. I thought my life was over and this was the end.
A sudden suprize, he lifted up my chin.. cause i could never look at him on my own. He places his hand on my forehead and and slide his hand down over my eyes, and i closed them. And as he did so, he told me " Your chance is now, repent."
And i dont know if any of you have woke up in tears...
I never have, but that day.. i was crying as i woke up.
Tears of joy, this unbelievable love filled my heart.. and all i could love was Jesus.
I ran and grabbed a bible and held it to my heart so tightly.
It was the first time in my life i knew i had a purpose.
I remember my days of sitting in a church, listening to a man tell me i need to love the Lord above all else... i remember saying to myself...
how can that ever happen... impossible.. i love boys.. and me.. and the world way too much.. i couldnt see anything above my lust for guys.
But that day, and the rest of my life, it has never changed.
I love Jesus more then this world.. And he is why im alive today.
I could never understand why i was so hated in life. I'm beautiful, smart.. and a personality that stands out,I make people laugh.
But at the end of the day, no friends, no money, no family.
Isolated from the world wishing i could fit in.
Just to have a single friend .. one person to talk too.
Its still the same today. I have this feeling... i might just die alone.
And it chokes me up, cause who doesnt want to be loved... just once.
But I am no fool, soon after being down on myself i realize .. God loves me.
And to lay in pity, is a waste. But depression gets the best of me.
The only reason im here is to see if there is anyone like me.
Who will die for him, who lives breathes and wakes to talk about THE WORD and his wonders.
My name is Stacey.
I am lucky.
Grew up a pagan.
My mother got saved.
I didn't.
I went to church, bored out of my mind by it.
Couldn't see, or have faith for any of it.
But years after, I was saved.
I would like to believe it was Jesus who came down and saved me in a dream.
I could not look upon his face. It was a brilliant white light, in the form of a man.
All i could do was get on my knee's and my, face to the floor.
All i could say was~
"oh holy oh holy oh holy" And beg him not to send me to hell.
( that was the thought in my mind, after watching the world end.. fire rain from the sky and people burning up like ashes on a cigarette )
Everyone was screamings. And i felt desolate, alone. I saw my mother die before me. And at that time i thought i hated her most in the world.
She started to burn up, i screamed and cried and grabbed onto her arm. But it was too late, and my whole arm burnt off my body trying to cling to her for the last time.
I was the only one left, i knew i was next.
I started to ask for another chance, at the time i didnt even know who was talking too.. I kept yelling "let me repent" "Let me go back" "give me one more chance"
I was so dumb then, i didnt even know what repentance was.. couldnt understand why i was saying it.
As i was asking, a man came upon me in a bright light. That is when i dropped to my knee;s and practically rubbed my face in the dirt. It was like i couldn't get low enough to show my humble respect. After asking him again to let me repent as i weeped the deepest tears. I thought my life was over and this was the end.
A sudden suprize, he lifted up my chin.. cause i could never look at him on my own. He places his hand on my forehead and and slide his hand down over my eyes, and i closed them. And as he did so, he told me " Your chance is now, repent."
And i dont know if any of you have woke up in tears...
I never have, but that day.. i was crying as i woke up.
Tears of joy, this unbelievable love filled my heart.. and all i could love was Jesus.
I ran and grabbed a bible and held it to my heart so tightly.
It was the first time in my life i knew i had a purpose.
I remember my days of sitting in a church, listening to a man tell me i need to love the Lord above all else... i remember saying to myself...
how can that ever happen... impossible.. i love boys.. and me.. and the world way too much.. i couldnt see anything above my lust for guys.
But that day, and the rest of my life, it has never changed.
I love Jesus more then this world.. And he is why im alive today.
I could never understand why i was so hated in life. I'm beautiful, smart.. and a personality that stands out,I make people laugh.
But at the end of the day, no friends, no money, no family.
Isolated from the world wishing i could fit in.
Just to have a single friend .. one person to talk too.
Its still the same today. I have this feeling... i might just die alone.
And it chokes me up, cause who doesnt want to be loved... just once.
But I am no fool, soon after being down on myself i realize .. God loves me.
And to lay in pity, is a waste. But depression gets the best of me.
The only reason im here is to see if there is anyone like me.
Who will die for him, who lives breathes and wakes to talk about THE WORD and his wonders.
