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Nightmares and negative thoughts

Discussion in 'Prayer Request' started by lilifield, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. I have the worst nightmares my whole life (so far), some reocurring, some new. They are so REAL that I'm sometimes woken up from them and can't believe it was only a dream. They come no matter what I do, pray, anoint, speak the word, etc. It's like the dreams don't care -- they come. They usually involve evil chasing me in some sort of way. Once, an evil being went inside me and spun me in circles at mock10 speed. The fear was so great it woke me up and I actually felt something leaving my body. That was the worst one ever.

    I don't do anything that I know of to bring it on. I am not involved in occult, and I don't lend myself to darkness in any way to bring these nightmares on.

    I feel dirty afterwards especially when I have the ones where demons are chasing me and I'm backed up agains a wall and I have nowhere to go so I levitate myself up... or something levitates me up and I fly away. It is not a good kind of flying... it's like something evil lifts me up to fly away.

    When I have them my first thought is that I'm not saved anymore. Thoughts of having lost my salvation plague me almost daily. I wake up feeling unsaved and I go to bed feeling unsaved. I usually try to battle the thoughts by reminding myself that the bible says there is no one good, no not one, and that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That usually helps for a day or so but the thoughts seem to turn into reality inside my head. I can't explain it because I don't undestand it. I can actually sometimes feel a chemical change in my body and then I get so depressed and think I'm going to hell no matter what. My life is spread out in my head showing me all the wrong things I've done in my life. I mean, it's overwhelming sometimes. I don't know why God created me or if I was an accident because I'm just no good.

    I'm not normal like other people though I have tried to be normal, and the more I try the more weird people think I am. I have even tried to ignore ill feelings toward me by others and pretend they didn't give me that look or shun me for being myself. It's like people make me feel bad for being me. When I try to be like them or whatever, it's no good either. I don't have any friends because I shut everyone off because people will end up betraying me at some point. They always have so I just don't make new friends. I told the Lord that I'm sorry I'm like this, but I don't like people. And if I don't like people then I'm saying that I don't like God because God made people. I hate people sometimes and I don't want to. I hope nobody judges me for saying what's on my heart because this is the first time I have openly told the truth what I feel.

    I know I need help but I can't afford it. Even at churches they charge to give you help. I think that's a big disgrace but they will say that someone has to pay for the help. I wonder what they would charge Jesus if he came in with a problem and couldn't afford to pay for help. Please pray for me.
     
  2. Hi there dear sister.

    Firstly I have moved your post to the prayer request section. As I see you have asked for prayer at the end of your heart sharing.

    Thank you for sharing openly your heart here and we are not here to judge anybody. Judge not or you will be judged.

    I want to tell you that on this site we are here to help each other and you will be encouraged by a lot of the posts around here.

    It is good to focus on what God says about you.

    Eph.1. NIV

    Spiritual Blessings in Christ

    3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he* predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will– 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9 And he* made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment–to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

    11 In him we were also chosen,* having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession–to the praise of his glory.



    Eph 2.

    Made Alive in Christ

    1 As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2 in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature* and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. 4 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions–it is by grace you have been saved. 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, 7 in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. 8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God– 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.


    Try to listen to praise and worship music to lift your spirits. I find it always helps. I too, have had nightmares and they seem so real at the time. I wake up and think 'oh I was only dreaming' . Also read the Word before you go to bed.

    Father I pray for this dear sister that you would surround her with Your love and show her how much You LOVE her. I pray that you show her if there is anything which causes her to have these awful nightmares. I ask you Father to give her sweet pleasant dreams. Fill her with Your peace the peace which passes all understanding. Lead her to the scriptures to help her see that she is saved. Thank you that your grace is sufficient for her. Thank you that you came to give us life and life abundantly. Thank you for her open honest sharing of her heart here in public and bless her greatly. I know your favour is upoon her too. Lead her by Your Holy Spirit and bless her with the right Godly friendships in Jesus' name amen

    God bless you dear sister and I will keep you in my prayers. :rose: :rainbow: :love:

    p.s I may come back and provide some more help when I get time.
     
  3. I will pray for you my dear sister, I have also experienced dreams like you have and I have to tell you that if you go on, believing that Jesus will take it away, it will happen.

    Father, I ask You to please be with my sister lilifield, take her by Your awesome Power, deliver her from this evil she is facing. Make her strong Jesus, tell her You love her and that You are with her dear God.

    Holy Spirit, please abide in my sister, make her body Your home, even more than You have, Holy Spirit, I ask You to make her calm and bless her with Your comfort and love. Jesus I ask You to let my friend know what Father's will is in her life. She is sincere dear Lord and I pray that You remove all this fear and pain from her.

    I ask it in Your Almighty name dear God. May You please bless her beyond compare God.

    Amen.
     
  4. Rejection is painful; I heard some concern in your post, not just about the dreams, but a general fear of rejection...that you are not normal, that others will never accept you.

    Dear woman, God loves you and treasures you in His hand. I also battle fear of rejection; that is why I noticed it so clearly in your post.

    Dear God, take this woman's hand and lead her beside the still waters. Show her your firm foundation. Hug her and hold her. Please enable us here at talkJesus to be a friend to her, and bring her godly, Christian friends right where she lives. Help her to know she is loved.

    Take away the bad dreams, Lord, put them in the trash where they belong. Inspire lilifield and give her a new kind of dream. In Jesus name, Amen.
     
  5. Remember that God is there with you all the time - when you feel bad, or scared, even when you sleep and have nightmares (although you are not aware of it, He is there). That should give you some comfort. Hebrews 13:5 says: "I will never leave you, nor forsake you". Never!!! That means you have God with you all the time. Try to grow a deeper personal relationship with Him. Satan can not harm a person who has Jesus inside - who meditates on His word, promisses, who misses His presence, who loves Him. Jesus wouldn't allow it.

    And another thing... I think people can help you very much. If you have a good friend, share your problem with him, or at least ask him to pray for you. People can make a great difference. If you don't have such a friend, try to make one. I'm sure there are christians who would be willing to help you. Solitude can sometimes be a door for Satan, depression, sadness, fear...

    In Christ, sebi
     
  6. I'm sorry for the way you're feeling, Lilifield. Praying for you sister. Continue in the Word, arm yourself with scripture. I've gone through similar experiences. One thing that's helped me is to not just speak against thoughts/feelings/situations in my head but to sometimes actually speak the word of God outloud. Do you have a pastor that you can talk to? I think it could be helpful to be able to talk with someone face to face. God is with you sister. God will see you through these tough experiences.
     
  7. Thanks for the love and reminders from everyone. Dreamer, after I read your reply I wept for half hour and prayed about what you said. I tried to come back twice to post back to you but I kept crying the pain was so deep and kept ending up praying instead. That one word... rejection was the finger that pulled the trigger. It was like oh my gosh... I never thought of that before. But it's true and I don't even want to get started on that topic because it's not going to glorify God in any way. But just wanted to come back and say that here I was trying to find a reason for my nightmares and God turned the tables and sort of said... no we aren't going to talk about nightmares we are going to talk about rejection. Even now I'm crying but this time it's a good cry... the kind where God is healing your heart and filling it with his soft supportive oil that sustains you inside. Thanks so much to everyone for what they said. Everything helped. God bless you.
     
  8. We Share in Christ

    Hey lilifield. How are you feeling now. You will find a lot of understanding here at Talk Jesus. I had and occasionally still do have nightmares and bad thoughts. I really understand how scary and disheartening it feels. And it does keep a person from socializing very much. But keep on your pathway to Jesus, to our Father, with the Holy Spirit within. He IS there, and He always will be.

    Here is a passage from Proverbs 3

    Keep sound wisdom and discretion,
    22So they will be life to your soul
    And adornment to your neck.
    23Then you will walk in your way securely
    And your foot will not stumble.
    24When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
    When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
    25Do not be afraid of sudden fear
    Nor of the onslaught of the wicked when it comes;
    26For the LORD will be your confidence
    And will keep your foot from being caught.

    Through your trials, you will grow closer to God, He will draw you into Himself.
    I have felt very rejected in my life too. I am so glad I have God accepting me and you will find that He accepts you too, it is just a matter of time and patience.

    Matthew 10:31
    "So do not fear, you are more valuable than many sparrows.

    Being lonely is hard too, but it is a great opportunity to explore the love of God. As you grow in the Lord, you will find yourself immersed in the Lord.
    So don't feel lonely right now. Even the prophets felt rejected, dejected and lonely. Jesus used to go to lonely places to pray to God, He was so full of love for our Father, He wanted the quiet time.

    Luke 5:16
    But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

    David in Psalms said said that he was not only lonely, but afflicted too.

    # Psalm 25:16
    Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.

    And praise be to God, He knows what rejection feels like. Take a look at this world and hear just a few of His words concerning rejection.

    Proverbs 1:24
    But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand,

    A couple more Words for you lilifield. Jesus felt rejected and was rejected as we know by scripture. He knows how you feel. Don't forget that He had to battle satan too.

    Luke 9:22
    And he said, "The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life."

    Luke 17:25
    But first he must suffer many things and be rejected by this generation.

    lilifield, I completely empathize with what you are feeling. Satan is not going to get you though, you belong to Jesus, you are one of His sheep.

    Anyway, know that there are people that will help you here. Just ask and it shall be given. Hope your sleep gets sweeter soon, but don't worry too much about that gnat satan, if he keeps bugging you. That is all he can do.

    1 Peter 3:14
    But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear [ Or not fear their threats] ; do not be frightened." [ Isaiah 8:12]

    Isaiah 8
    12 "Do not call conspiracy
    everything that these people call conspiracy
    do not fear what they fear,
    and do not dread it.

    13 The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy,
    he is the one you are to fear,
    he is the one you are to dread,

    Take care lilifield. Hold on to your Bible, you are God blessed.
    Amen:pixie:lightning :sun: :rainbow::love:
     
  9. Dearest Sister....

    I have read your post and what others have said. I do not know what to say really to be honest. But I want you to know that I support you and I'll be praying for you!

    May God be with you!

    Many Blessing,
    monkeys
     
  10. Dear Sister in Christ,

    My heart went out to you as I read your post. It is a wonderful thing how we are so accepted in Christ. You are covered by the finished work of Christ. These tormenting spirits and dreams have no authority over you. You need not fear them. No matter how they make you feel.

    Just one small suggestion. At night before going to sleep choose one verse from the Bible which speaks to you and repeat it to yourself thanking the LORD that it is true for you. As you read the scripture thank God that the scripture is true for you. It is vital that you RECEIVE the word. So simply read that Word and RECEIVE the truth of it thanking God that it is all true for you. More and more you will experience deliverance and healing and life.

    God bless you as you believe and receive the healing work of the Lord through the Word and His Spirit.

    Pm me anytime if you want to talk...........
     
  11. God be with you dear sister. You are not alone as long as you have Jesus. He loves you, and so do we here at TJ. You are blessed to have received such good advise and encouragement. I just want you to know that you are covered by the precious blood of our Savior.

    Dear Lord, please comfort and protect sister lilifield from all evil thoughts and dreams. Please remove her fears and strengthen her with all of Your armor. Please help her to see the good that is in this world and in Your children. Please fill her heart with love for others as well as herself. In the precious name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, Amen.
     
  12. I'm glad things are looking up sister, I have to agree with what sister Dreamer said, even more than I can explain.

    Like I said, I have also suffered from bad dreams and awful nightmares.

    After I read sister Dreamers response I thought about it the entire week, and I realized the Holy Spirit led her into saying what she did.

    I'm sure that response comes straight from God and I know for a fact that when I felt rejected, like I had no place to go, nowhere to turn to, that's when the bad dreams crept up on me.

    God bless you sister, work with God through this, know that He is your Father and know that you are accepted
     
  13. I haven't been involved in any fellowship for about a year. It's really good to be among God's people even if it's online. God sent his "word" and healed them. It's not only his word coming out of flesh but his word even comes through in text. When the Lord wants to send healing he sends it through any means he chooses. Thank you to everyone for helping me try to understand and remember that I am covered by Jesus blood no matter what.

    I did have 2 more bad ones the other night. I woke up and shook all day from them. In those dreams I decapitated a popular college student in a public bathroom stall in the college, and knew that my fate would be the rest of my life in prison so I resolved to that and accepted it. I knew I would be arrested any moment and just accepted it. I have never dreamed of hurting anyone before so you can imagine how shook up I was. I prayed about it and didn't get an answer. I think I was too upset to "hear" from God. I don't even know anyone in college and would never hurt anyone!!

    I feel guilty all the time and I don't know for what? What did I do to feel so much guilt? I do pray and ask God why why why? But still no answer. Maybe he wants to tell me but maybe it's gonna hurt too much to hear what it is so maybe I block his voice from telling me?? I don't know. It's so much sometimes I can't stand it.

    The only thing I can think of and this may be way off in the wrong direction even, is that the Lord put a calling on me to serve him when I was a teen. I gave him my life, soul, mind, everything and did serve him from my heart of hearts for decades. But inside all I really wanted was a husband and a family. When I was 25 I picked the first man that gave me any attention and married him. He turned out to be like my father and abused me physical and mental. We had a child. When he started in on her I left him. Soon after he filed for divorce. For years afterward I kept seeking a husband while trying to serve the Lord. One day God told me don't do that no more. Just raise your daughter and when she is of age I will just give you the husband I pick for you and you don't got to go looking for him, I'll just give him. So I did that. And when she was almost of legal age I came home from work one night feeling so lonely and I prayed and cried and said to God something I will regret the rest of my life. I said "Oh Lord God, why have you been selfishly keeping me all to yourself all these years"? And a few days later I met a man out of the blue who would be my husband a year later.

    We have been married almost ten years and our marriage is blessed above anyone I know personally. I know that he was sent from God and I love him. But it seems that there was a hidden trade somewhere when I made that accusation to my Father in heaven. I think I traded my treasure in heaven for a husband because my life has not been used by God since we got married. I used to hear from God moment to moment and we had so much blessed conversations. And now, my prayers fall to the the ground before they come off my lips. My heart has turned cold to the things of God and I haven't even witnessed Jesus to anyone in a long time. I'm scared to death that I traded my salvation for something earthly and that God gave me to my husband and is no longer using me for his kingdeom.

    I'm upset and crying right now I can't type no more.
     
  14. #14 Faithful Son, Feb 21, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2007
    Okay sister, there's no need to feel sad. You are here with the Lord, He is with us, we are gathered in His name.

    Your prayers and comments certainly did not fall deaf to God's ears, they were heard and He is using each one of us to minister to you and help you through this tough time.

    Like I said, our lives are very similar, although I am only 22 years old, God has shown me great signs and wonders, but they did not come for free, I had great tribulation in my life, because of my constant sins, and I had to change before He could take me and shape me.

    Regarding feeling judged and feeling the way you do, I would like to give you this scripture, I want you to read it, without really thinking about it, but let it enter your mind, meditate on it and ask the Spirit to help you.

    Mark 13:11
    11Whenever you are arrested and brought to trial, do not worry beforehand about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for it is not you speaking, but the Holy Spirit.

    When you feel this way, when you feel like God is saying to you: "You are not worthy" remember, it's not really how God feels, but He is allowing it.

    Start speaking, say it with your voice and with your lips, whatever you have to say, speak loudly and speak in whichever manner.

    The Holy Spirit is speaking at that moment, just like Jesus said He would. He is using that moment to make himself clear and noticeable to you, He is telling you what has to happen and He is showing you what needs to be done.

    This is all good, it is not of this world, it is straight from God, it may be hard to accept, but the Holy Spirit is love, He will not be rude to you, He will comfort you.

    I am praying for you and I will keep praying for you, your husband is a gift from God, if it possible, ask him to join Talk Jesus, or at least read your posts.

    It will do the most good to have him involved in this process of your healing.

    God bless
    Much love
    teraside
     
  15. I will pray for you sister God Bless :) trust God and done ever think of evil thoughts of losing your salvation and etc.. God is with you --- If God is with you who can be against you ---- Romans 8 ... read isiah 43 sis and i hope and pray that God will heal you and deliver you from demonic spirits IN JESUS' NAME , sister His name is more powerful than anyother name ... apostles used to deliver people from demons by just using Jesus' name just claim that and God will heal you

    God Bless Sis
    lots of love in Christ
     
  16. #16 joy, Feb 22, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2007
    Lord

    Please comfort Your precious child. Thank You for Your great love, protect her and deliver her from evil and heal her broken heart In Jesus' powerful name Amen
     
  17. Dear Sister in Christ,

    You have asked God for forgiveness for accusing him of selfishness and he has forgiven. The Word tells us He forgives us when we ask. Now you have to move on from that point in your life. Today is the day of salvation. You are saved today and the LORD is with you today. It is your fears and doubts that are giving you this feeling of separation. Just begin to thank him for forgiving you. Thank him for being close and never leaving you. ACCEPT the LORD for who He truly is. Do not misread his character. You once thought He was being selfish. Now you think that He may be punishing you for taking a husband. You are misreading his character. Simply tell God that you love Him and that you are glad He loves you! Sooner or later you must accept God for who He says He is. And He is merciful and utterly forgiving and kind towards you. Praise God.

    As for these terrible dreams, you are being tormented. Your very thoughts are tormented. As you enter into acceptance of the love of God these tormenting thoughts and dreams will slow down and then cease. You must take control of yourself. I pray that you will begin by simply saying to God throughout the day. "Thank you for loving me. Thank you for setting me free." .........When we become involved with tormenting thoughts we must begin to walk out of that vicious cycle.

    You can choose to do just that. We are for you and are trusting God for you.

    Blessings.
     
  18. #18 lilifield, Feb 22, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2007
    Okay Thank you Lord for everything!

    Teraside: Never in a million years would I have associated that scripture with my dream. It shows that God used you to say that because there was a witness inside me like saying "yes" do it just like they said. So here's what happened:

    I went to the courtroom of God and was at my trial. I didn't know how to start the prayer so I just said "God, I'm guilty of everything anyone can acuse me of". Then I was silent and waited like you said for the Holy Spirit to give me some words to say. And words came and I uttered them to God aloud as I was hearing inside. And to make a long story short there was a lot of crying and lot's of stuff being said and confessed and so forth.

    Okay, call me crazy I don't know but I saw something so vivid it was like I was seeing it on the TV. I saw me, and I saw I was wearing this big black heavy jacket and it was really thick and chunky. And then I see a really deep black pit next to me on the ground. And I see myself taking off this black ugly jacket and throwing it into this deep pit. Then I seen hands cover the pit with dirt. Then the scene changes and I see myself standing in the most beautiful green meadow. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! All the colors of the rainbow was there and even a soft brook where the pit used to be. And I see myself being dressed in a long white gown. Very plain and simple but very light and airy. It's told me this gown is "righteousness". Then I see a gold belt and a gold crown. And in my right hand is a silver shield. In the left hand is a sword in the downward position and it's told me it's down because of PEACE. And oh man, it's so beautiful and I realize that this is what the Lord gave me not the black jacket. So then I start thanking him over and over and it was really beautiful.

    Ax-d-slayer: So ya, when I went to bed I began to read the scripture in Isaiah that you suggested. It was soooo good but I didn't hear anything deep so I thought I should keep reading until I got a breakthrough. So I cant find the scripture now!!! It's someplace between 43 and 49 and it said something like I brought you out of fire and gave you salvation -- and that's really what God did because when I got saved my life hung between life and death because my life was so cruel I didn't care if I lived or died. Then I read this...

    Isaiah 46:4 And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.

    And I laughed and cried at the same time because God knew my heart that lately I been thinking I'm too old for God, he gave up on me cause I'm too old now and if I haven't learned by now I never will and he knows it. LOL. But he shot that lie down real good. I laughed when I read "and even to hoar hairs will I carry you". LOL LOL!!! That's so funny! He's so faithful

    Well anyway that gave me so much joy and the darkness is lifted and yuck that stuff is ugly!! I never want to lend myself to those lies again. I prayed today and had such a good day, very peaceful inside becaue of God's love. Thank you all everyone!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!
     
  19. I am no dream interpreter sister, but this is what the Word of God says. I think it was mentioned before, I'm not sure. I am very happy for you, the word righteousness is when you truly believe in God's promises for you, but I think that crown, or cap, was the cap of Salvation. God bless you.

    Ephesians 6
    10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

    19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
     
  20. I was in the same boat

    Hi Lilified,

    Some of the problems we go thru are not only skin deep,they have been passed on from generation to generation,and therefore they have to be dug up and destroyed from the roots.I myself has been going thru deliverance classes and i feel a different person.

    I know that there are some christians out there who do not believe in deliverance, but as for me i know that it is real.

    I believe that what caused you to dream that dream of throwing a black coat into a pit,was because you confessed of all sins,known and unknown to you.Throwing the coat to me means that God gave you a new life.I have had to confess sins commited by my ancestors,because they had become a curse unto my life.

    The devil uses unconfessed sins in our live's as strongholds and even when we confess our sins, and pray nothing seems to happen.I would urge you to search yourself and find what stronghold the devil has in your life then confess and cast them out.

    I had a problem like yours,my father who i loved very much died when i was a teenager and from then on the spirit of loneliness invaded me.The devil used this channel to bring terrible men into my life,some using charms and others using the word of God but they were all evil.The latest one was a pastor who instead of drawing me closer to God he led me even furtherand now am retrieving my steps back to God,it was very bad.

    Please read the book,Christian set yourself free,by Paul and Sherill Graham
     

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