getting tired of it and wanted to go back home to his family and his urban life. You can also sense that the thing that makes him not want to go back is his ego, his pride, and his self. Self that got hurt. Self that always reasons that he’s not the one to blame. He has good motives but that it’s just a one time mistake a one time deal that he had made and that it’s injustice for him for the shame and sufferings that he’s experiencing right now. In short as he always say, “I don’t deserve it!”
He toured us through his place and it is quite large where there are vegetables fruits and fruit trees, cages and enclosures of his animals like goats some cow and wild pigs and chickens. And in this you can feel that he wants you to stay with him and die with him there and be like him. Pitying yourself and always making excuses for the present things that happens to you. In the afternoon, we went back to the hut bringing with us chickens and some vegetable s and fruits for our lunch and rested and while he went to the kitchen to prepare and cook, I told him that the next day, we’ll be going out and be on our way and that he can direct us. He didn’t answer. We ate and night came and another day passed. Morning came and I was surprise to see that our hands we’re tied so with our feet with a rope and he’s seated watching us.
“Hey, what’s happening?” Why did you tie us?
“I don’t want you to go. Be with me and I will treat you well and we will be happy like the days that gone by.”
I’m sorry but I don’t want to stay. I want to go back and face my mistake and my family and all my loved ones and go on and move on and continue living. I want to forget the past but learning from it and do something constructively that leads to healing me, my family and all my love ones. I must do it while there’s time. Time to go on and live. Yeah, sure it’ll be rough. There’ll be people that will not believe in me. There’ll be persons who will reject and don’t want me. But the thing is I want to continue to love those who will forgive me, those who will accept me and give me another chance. It’ll hurt when people give you a face. For sure, but I will not mind them at all. Although, I’m just a man that I won’t feel it. But I don’t want to go down without a fight. I don’t want to die feeling sorry for myself and blaming others for the sins that I have cause by myself. I want to live! As long as God permits me. I want to love and to have fellowship with the people that receive me, as I am not to the point of allowing me to wonder in sin. That’s what I want to happen.”
“You fool!” the old man angrily shouted.
No person will want you. Even your own family and your so-called love ones. They will reject you. You know why? Because they only want you when you’re a help to them not a burden. When you became a problem, when you sin and slip and make a mistake, they will spit you like they did to me. They all left me and did not give me a chance.” Saying this with conviction because of his experience.
“No, not all of them are like that. Not all!” So let us loose and let us go please. I know what you’re feeling. I’ve been there but the moment my old companion in the dumpster died. It made me think. It made me believe again to God and to my love ones and to the people. It made me accept that I have sinned and made a mistake hurting God and the people that loved me and the people I love. And as a consequence, I have broken their trust and afraid of facing the consequences, I ran from it. That’s why I am here finding my way out.”
Buddy, interrupted us saying, “ I don’t want to go. I want to stay right here with you if that’s okay?” Let him go and I’ll stay.” The old man is crying and without uttering a word, released both of us and apologizes, “Forgive me. I’m just so lonesome that I wanted both of you to stay to be with me. I know what you’re saying of going back and continuing to live and start all over again. I know that and I want that. But I cannot do it. It’s so
He toured us through his place and it is quite large where there are vegetables fruits and fruit trees, cages and enclosures of his animals like goats some cow and wild pigs and chickens. And in this you can feel that he wants you to stay with him and die with him there and be like him. Pitying yourself and always making excuses for the present things that happens to you. In the afternoon, we went back to the hut bringing with us chickens and some vegetable s and fruits for our lunch and rested and while he went to the kitchen to prepare and cook, I told him that the next day, we’ll be going out and be on our way and that he can direct us. He didn’t answer. We ate and night came and another day passed. Morning came and I was surprise to see that our hands we’re tied so with our feet with a rope and he’s seated watching us.
“Hey, what’s happening?” Why did you tie us?
“I don’t want you to go. Be with me and I will treat you well and we will be happy like the days that gone by.”
I’m sorry but I don’t want to stay. I want to go back and face my mistake and my family and all my loved ones and go on and move on and continue living. I want to forget the past but learning from it and do something constructively that leads to healing me, my family and all my love ones. I must do it while there’s time. Time to go on and live. Yeah, sure it’ll be rough. There’ll be people that will not believe in me. There’ll be persons who will reject and don’t want me. But the thing is I want to continue to love those who will forgive me, those who will accept me and give me another chance. It’ll hurt when people give you a face. For sure, but I will not mind them at all. Although, I’m just a man that I won’t feel it. But I don’t want to go down without a fight. I don’t want to die feeling sorry for myself and blaming others for the sins that I have cause by myself. I want to live! As long as God permits me. I want to love and to have fellowship with the people that receive me, as I am not to the point of allowing me to wonder in sin. That’s what I want to happen.”
“You fool!” the old man angrily shouted.
No person will want you. Even your own family and your so-called love ones. They will reject you. You know why? Because they only want you when you’re a help to them not a burden. When you became a problem, when you sin and slip and make a mistake, they will spit you like they did to me. They all left me and did not give me a chance.” Saying this with conviction because of his experience.
“No, not all of them are like that. Not all!” So let us loose and let us go please. I know what you’re feeling. I’ve been there but the moment my old companion in the dumpster died. It made me think. It made me believe again to God and to my love ones and to the people. It made me accept that I have sinned and made a mistake hurting God and the people that loved me and the people I love. And as a consequence, I have broken their trust and afraid of facing the consequences, I ran from it. That’s why I am here finding my way out.”
Buddy, interrupted us saying, “ I don’t want to go. I want to stay right here with you if that’s okay?” Let him go and I’ll stay.” The old man is crying and without uttering a word, released both of us and apologizes, “Forgive me. I’m just so lonesome that I wanted both of you to stay to be with me. I know what you’re saying of going back and continuing to live and start all over again. I know that and I want that. But I cannot do it. It’s so
