teary, and I did blow. I laugh loudly that he stopped and stared at me but I really can’t help it.
“I’m very sorry sir but I can’t help it,” continue laughing loudly.
To my amazement he joined me laughing to the point of crying and our merriment filled the room. His wife rushed in with his son wondering what’s the noise about and like two insane persons celebrating she joined in. Oh what a therapeutic exercise that has been. He tapped me on my right shoulders and said, “Want me to go on?” Our laughs decreasing cleaning our wet eyes. I answer yes sir do continue.
“ I was tired. So tired that I lay down to that part of the crevice and cried and for the first time since my adultery I looked up to the heavens and prayed. I forgot God. I’m so centered to myself, the hurts and rejections and trying to find somebody to blame on but myself that I forgot Him. I prayed that time with my whole heart: Father God, I have sinned. I have forgotten you and forgive me. There’s no one to blame for everything that’s happening to me but me. I for got you and I came to the point that I blamed you. Forgive me. Forgive me also for wanting to take my life when this is not mine. Help me. Rescue me and save me. Thank you for not letting me die. Thank you Father God in Jesus name Amen. I’m sobbing as I utter this prayer. But as soon as I finish the praying, I felt peace, that tranquility that I’m trying to find from dope, woman, sex, and material things. That stillness of the soul that I’m trying to find from my wife and people that I love. That forgiveness and acceptance that I need from them. I felt that after I prayed. I also learned to accept and take responsibility from the all of these. For the first time, I became sober that my head is so clear that I wanted to live and start all over again and move on. I prayed to God that he help me. It’ll be difficult for I know that there will be rebuff and negative reactions by other people but I’m willing to live again. So you see, I went back to see my family but they have their own life now and God gave me another wife, Elizabeth and from her our joy my son Michael. He also gave this even though it’s at mouth of the forest I guess God has a plan for this..” And as he was saying this I interrupted telling him, “ You’re right, God has a plan for you,” nodding my head showing deep conviction and approval.
“ That’s why I’m here not for profit but to help.”
“ Yeah I know and you’re doing a great job.”
“ Really?”
“ Yes sir.”
A truck that came from the forest park in front of the restaurant and the driver use the rest room and as he was leaving I hitch a ride and luckily he’s going to my town.
“ Mr. Wilson I thank you so much for everything and God blesses you.”
“ Don’t mention it. You’re welcome here. God blesses you too. “
We rode and night came and we’re still on the road.
I felt very sleepy. But you can’t sleep. The driver’s always talking and asking. Maybe he’s just bored from a day’s work where he has to travel so far with no companion. Although he has a stereo on board, it’s another thing to have somebody to talk to.
“ Sir”, he politely called me in spite of my appearance.
“ Yes sir?” I also called him sir.
“ I’m sorry it’s none of my business but can I ask where are you going?”
“Going home sir.”
O don’t call me sir, I’m just a bus driver.
Don’t also call me sir sir; because I’m just a vagabond see my appearance?
Alright sir I’m Micky. And you are?
“I’m very sorry sir but I can’t help it,” continue laughing loudly.
To my amazement he joined me laughing to the point of crying and our merriment filled the room. His wife rushed in with his son wondering what’s the noise about and like two insane persons celebrating she joined in. Oh what a therapeutic exercise that has been. He tapped me on my right shoulders and said, “Want me to go on?” Our laughs decreasing cleaning our wet eyes. I answer yes sir do continue.
“ I was tired. So tired that I lay down to that part of the crevice and cried and for the first time since my adultery I looked up to the heavens and prayed. I forgot God. I’m so centered to myself, the hurts and rejections and trying to find somebody to blame on but myself that I forgot Him. I prayed that time with my whole heart: Father God, I have sinned. I have forgotten you and forgive me. There’s no one to blame for everything that’s happening to me but me. I for got you and I came to the point that I blamed you. Forgive me. Forgive me also for wanting to take my life when this is not mine. Help me. Rescue me and save me. Thank you for not letting me die. Thank you Father God in Jesus name Amen. I’m sobbing as I utter this prayer. But as soon as I finish the praying, I felt peace, that tranquility that I’m trying to find from dope, woman, sex, and material things. That stillness of the soul that I’m trying to find from my wife and people that I love. That forgiveness and acceptance that I need from them. I felt that after I prayed. I also learned to accept and take responsibility from the all of these. For the first time, I became sober that my head is so clear that I wanted to live and start all over again and move on. I prayed to God that he help me. It’ll be difficult for I know that there will be rebuff and negative reactions by other people but I’m willing to live again. So you see, I went back to see my family but they have their own life now and God gave me another wife, Elizabeth and from her our joy my son Michael. He also gave this even though it’s at mouth of the forest I guess God has a plan for this..” And as he was saying this I interrupted telling him, “ You’re right, God has a plan for you,” nodding my head showing deep conviction and approval.
“ That’s why I’m here not for profit but to help.”
“ Yeah I know and you’re doing a great job.”
“ Really?”
“ Yes sir.”
A truck that came from the forest park in front of the restaurant and the driver use the rest room and as he was leaving I hitch a ride and luckily he’s going to my town.
“ Mr. Wilson I thank you so much for everything and God blesses you.”
“ Don’t mention it. You’re welcome here. God blesses you too. “
We rode and night came and we’re still on the road.
I felt very sleepy. But you can’t sleep. The driver’s always talking and asking. Maybe he’s just bored from a day’s work where he has to travel so far with no companion. Although he has a stereo on board, it’s another thing to have somebody to talk to.
“ Sir”, he politely called me in spite of my appearance.
“ Yes sir?” I also called him sir.
“ I’m sorry it’s none of my business but can I ask where are you going?”
“Going home sir.”
O don’t call me sir, I’m just a bus driver.
Don’t also call me sir sir; because I’m just a vagabond see my appearance?
Alright sir I’m Micky. And you are?
