• Welcome to Talk Jesus

    A true bible based, Jesus centered online community. Join over 13,000 members today

    Register Log In

Need help with bible study group on premarital sex

Users who viewed this discussion (Total:0)

Member
I lead a young mens group and they all are okay with having premarital sex. They keep saying I have to have it and have other excuses. I've talked till im blue in the face about it. One of them asked what the big deal is if he can be monogomous with one woman but still have sex. Kind of at a stand still with them, anyone have anything on this topic?
 
Member
Hi Broncos1982,

1Cor.7:1-2 it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband.

1cor.7:8-9 but I say to the unmarried and to the widows; It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control,let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 cor.6:18-20 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's.

I know what you mean when you say you have talked to your men's group till you are blue in the face. It seems that many are set in there ways and no matter what we say they just won't listen or is that they don't want to listen and choose to ignore the truth because its easier to give into the flesh? I've dealt with others in the past who were pretty much the same way and even would ask me if i missed it...my response was always the same"how can i possibly miss what i've never had" to this day there are still people who flat don't believe it, but yes there are those of us who haven't and won't till the day we marry. If we are telling others to live by God's word then we better be living by it too.We are called to spread the word of our Lord and His truth and because they don't believe or refuse to believe doesn't mean its any less true...it will remain unchanged and true for eternity. Once we have presented the Lord's truth then it becomes time for us to back off, pray and Let God take over in the matter.

They want to know what the big deal is if you are monogomous with one woman...the big deal is God tells us in His very written word to flee sexual immorality...He said don't do it..that's the big deal...He didn't say its ok outside of marriage...as we see in the above verses in 1corinthians Our Lord says its forbidden and He goes on to say if someone can't exercise self-control then its better for them to marry and why because of sexual immorality or sex outside of marraige which is sin. They also need to realize that their bodies are not their own...they are infact God's and the very temple He resides in and when they do commit the act of premartial sex they are taking the temple our Lord lives and resides in and turning into something it wasn't intended for...God intended it to remain pure in Him and then when we marry we give unto to the one He has choosen for us and whom we will love for the rest of our lives and even then we are to keep the marriage bed pure.

In 1cor.6:13 Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body.

We are to present ourselves as pure glorifying Him not only with our mouths but with our very bodies by keeping them pure and not giving into the flesh or its lusts...its battle but
through our Lord Jesus we can do this and be victorious. Its one of many giants many people face today...but by the grace and power of our Lord Jesus Christ we can fight this giant but we must keep in His word and block those things which can be temptation to us and remove them anyway we possibly can.

The enemy wants nothing more than for these young men to believe His lies...many will say oh it feels good or how can it be wrong...my answer satan isn't gonna come knocking
on your door saying " here i am i'm satan and im gonna cause you to sin and im the bad guy" no he is going to disguise himself and his lies make the things that are most dangerous to us look the most inviting. So, the very thing they are saying is no big deal is a lie of satan put there to derail them from any walk they may have now with our Lord.

Keep praying for them and when God leads you keep talking and telling them of His truth and what is in His written word. I'll also be praying for them as well that God's truth is manifested unto them and that it would seep into their hearts, minds, and souls and they would infact be changed through our Lord Jesus Christ.

God bless you and keep you always.
 
Active
I really feel that brother,it's not easy to teach that to individuals,never mind a hostile group.They can blunt your arguments then divert the teaching and they can end up ganging up on you.

With an individual I like to ask them if they can see any possible benefits from two people knowing only each other.
Then they will try to blunt my argument and say that there are no such persons or something to that effect.
Then I will attempt to steer back to the question and emphasize
"can see any possible benefits from two people knowing only each other".

Some will begin to think,some will squirm and try to divert the question further
and some may even get hostile and start insinuating or even accusing you.

At the base of this is the fear that true love is not real.
Some people have never seen actual love before.
Many have never tasted the goodness of God and we have to have an abundance of patience with them without letting them drag us into their thought patterns.

At some point when they are able to see the benefits from two people knowing only each other",I remind them that they are a new creature and that they are a virgin before their maker so they can start living that any time now.

I've never tried this in a group,but I think I would try to make it more of a "do love" than a "don't have sex" focus.

At least they are being honest,20 years ago they just nodded and said Amen then went out and did it anyway.
 
Last edited:
Member
1 cor.6:18-20 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's.


AbbysAunt is spot on with her reply.

"Flee youthful lusts" are the words of the scripture. These words were said to the young man Timothy. 2Timothy.2.22.

We are talking about 'Church' the bride of Christ'

"Flee" Get running...... other wise you may fall into the trap of Satan and soil your conscience and soul for the rest of human life.
 
Active
1 cor.6:18-20 Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's.


AbbysAunt is spot on with her reply.

"Flee youthful lusts" are the words of the scripture. These words were said to the young man Timothy. 2Timothy.2.22.

We are talking about 'Church' the bride of Christ'

"Flee" Get running...... other wise you may fall into the trap of Satan and soil your conscience and soul for the rest of human life.
Those are pearls,some of us have been given swine to work with.

I agree with both of you if the person is "trying" to control youthful lusts.The young man Timothy was very good soil,I work with some pretty rocky soil so I have to practice some soil preparation techniques before casting pearls.
 
Last edited:
Member
Wow. That is pretty crazy... but understandable. Here is what I can think of:


  • Have you discussed with them the marriage covenant... what it means to have a Christian marriage and how this marriage is demonstrated by the first and holy marriage of Christ and His church?

  • Do they understand the accountability they have before God on judgment day? They will have to go before Him and explain every single lustful thought, every single lustful act, and they will be punished if they continue.

  • Perhaps you should try looking into the future and seeing it from a girls point of view. Ask them how they would feel knowing the girl they marry had been with other men... and then vice versa, ask them how they would feel knowing that they are the only one who will ever be that intimate with their future wife... he is the only one she has ever been with, and she is the only one he has ever been with. (This really works esp. if they have girlfriends... thinking about your significant other with another person is pretty convicting)
This is tough... I think the only way to cure this is by an act of God (literally). They need serious conviction so I'll pray for them. But here's a tip... I find, guys especially, learn best from practical teaching and application... they seem to have a hard time applying Biblical principles to current life and telling them "God says 'no'" doesn't really mean anything to them. They need to think about it from an earthly perspective to really get the full idea.

Hope this helps!
 
Member
They keep saying I have to have it and have other excuses. I've talked till im blue in the face about it.
It sounds like to me... you're throwing your pearls to swine friend.
Matthew 7:6 ~ "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

If they won't listen, stop wasting your time. That may sound rude but I'm not being rude. Hehe =)

Love forever! =)
 
Active
If they won't listen, stop wasting your time.
Actually,that might be better than beating around the burning bush.
It might work if the people specifically signed up to overcome lust.
 
Top