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My kids and family

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I have asked for prayers before because of my current situation. I broke up with my kids dad because he isnt there for me or the kids. He puts himself before them. Now he is trying to go for 50/50 custody. This wouldnt be an issue if they were used to seeing him but they go days without seeing him. They see me everyday. Ever since he is asking to see them a few days a week they act like different kids. They don't sleep good anymore. My son is more whiny. I cry because i see how different he acts and on days they dont see him they act so much better. I also dont him getting 50/50 because he smokes marijuana and has done so with our son in the car. Ive told him he can either watch them at his moms where she knows he wont do it and that he cant leave without her. That may seem bad but i dont trust him.
 
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, friend. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. Situation like this is difficult, and I know how painful and devastating it must be for you. Have you considered talking with a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A caring professional might be able to give you solid guidance. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you and your family with His comfort, peace, strength, and provide the wisdom and help you need at this time. Please know that you can always come here to share, and I’m here to support and pray for you. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. Love & hugs to you!
 
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through, friend. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. Situation like this is difficult, and I know how painful and devastating it must be for you. Have you considered talking with a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? A caring professional might be able to give you solid guidance. I just said a prayer for you, asking the Lord to surround you and your family with His comfort, peace, strength, and provide the wisdom and help you need at this time. Please know that you can always come here to share, and I’m here to support and pray for you. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. Love & hugs to you!
Ive had to go to a counselor before and it didnt help me much. I kind felt like they were just going in circles i guess. Its just super hard for me to do this considering the kids are 2 years old and 3.5 months. When i broke up with him i never thought he would even ask for them for more than a day a week just because thats all he is used to seeing them. He blames me for it all, but ive just been trying to be there for the kids. I always try my best for them and i hardly have a life without them. Thats not the case with him. Im not trying to put him down. I mean we all have problems but when it comes to our kids i feel like this is just going to hurt them more than anything because of how he is going about doing it. It seems like if he really cared about them he wouldnt be trying to rip them away from the one parent who is always there. Ive been trying not to go to court because i dont have alot of money and im afraid of the 50/50 law. I dont want them to have a go over there that much because he hasnt been there and i dont want them to feel like ive left them. Mommys always there in their eyes. Its just really rough but thank you for praying. I hope things get better for everyone. Especially the kids.
 
Active Member
There is nothing wrong with not trusting someone who is untrustworthy. Trust your mommy instincts and ask God for wisdom and to lead and guide you to the right people, resources, etc. to help you. Get a good attorney. Get ready for a battle. Trust God for all the resources for the battle (money, time, etc.). It most likely won't be easy. What worries me is that your kids are expressing obvious stress to the thought of spending more time with him. That's a huge red flag in my opinion. Pray for things to be brought to the light, pray for protection of your kids (physically, emotionally and spiritually) when they are with him, pray, pray, pray.

And as difficult as this may seem, trust God fully that He can and will use this situation for your good. Ask Him for spiritual eyes to see this circumstance from His viewpoint so that you don't get bogged down in fear and anxiety. Philippians 4:6-7
 
There is nothing wrong with not trusting someone who is untrustworthy. Trust your mommy instincts and ask God for wisdom and to lead and guide you to the right people, resources, etc. to help you. Get a good attorney. Get ready for a battle. Trust God for all the resources for the battle (money, time, etc.). It most likely won't be easy. What worries me is that your kids are expressing obvious stress to the thought of spending more time with him. That's a huge red flag in my opinion. Pray for things to be brought to the light, pray for protection of your kids (physically, emotionally and spiritually) when they are with him, pray, pray, pray.

And as difficult as this may seem, trust God fully that He can and will use this situation for your good. Ask Him for spiritual eyes to see this circumstance from His viewpoint so that you don't get bogged down in fear and anxiety. Philippians 4:6-7
My kids are only 2 years old and 3 months. They are really only used to spending time with me and my parents because of how he went days without them. I just dont get why he wants to see them all of a sudden and now he acts like he dont trust me with them. Ive never done anything to them and im the only parent they really know. Our son likes to play with him but he is used to seeing him for a couple hours and then he leaves. Thats what he has always done. And the other night when he came to my moms to see them he made a big deal about leaving so our son would get upset. It really didnt phase him but you could tell thats what he was trying to do. He didnt even say anything to our 3 month old. I know she don't understand what anyone says to her but just the fact that he dont even acknowledge her half the time is what upsets me.
 
Active Member
I just dont get why he wants to see them all of a sudden and now he acts like he dont trust me with them. Ive never done anything to them and im the only parent they really know
You might want to look up the term narcissist. It sounds like he Is a manipulative person using the children as a pawn to gain control over you. This can be a common thing for this personality - they will make up lies about you to destroy your character (many times accusing you of the very sins they are guilty of) when they themselves are the ones with the character issues. It is better to know what you may be dealing with which is why I advise looking into that possibility.

This is a great blog that God has used to help me understand my own situation and marriage....

www.leslievernick.com

Another one is divorcinganarcissist.net

Both of these are Christian resources.
 
You might want to look up the term narcissist. It sounds like he Is a manipulative person using the children as a pawn to gain control over you. This can be a common thing for this personality - they will make up lies about you to destroy your character (many times accusing you of the very sins they are guilty of) when they themselves are the ones with the character issues. It is better to know what you may be dealing with which is why I advise looking into that possibility.

This is a great blog that God has used to help me understand my own situation and marriage....

www.leslievernick.com

Another one is divorcinganarcissist.net

Both of these are Christian resources.
My mom has told me that too. My real dad was kind of the same way so she went through it with him
 

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