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My husband is atheist.

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My husband is atheist. We were both atheists when we wedded, but I converted to Christianity.
We argue a lot. We don't have much in common. And he hates that I abstain from demonic music and sinful television. Plus he smells like cigarettes and makes me want one. (I've quit smoking now. ) He tells me that he will probably never believe in GOD.
When we argue I get very angry and call him names and scare him. I hate when we argue because it causes me to sin too (wrath).
Sometimes, I don't know whether to leave or stay. Please offer me some insight. Should I forgive him when we argue or hit the bricks?!
 
Loyal Member

RJ

If your marriage is worth saving to you , looks like some marriage counseling would be appropriate before you decide to split up. Hope you can work things out but , if you can't, and you want to remarry...a Christian with similar views would be appropriate.
 
Moderator
Staff member
@breakbread

First I will keep in you and your husband in prayer.

Your story brings to mind a book I read which is called "A Case for Christ", by Lee Strobel.
The similarity is such that both the writer and his wife were atheist until his wife became a Christian. In his telling of it in the prologue of the book. He was amazed by the change in her. She was truly happy!! She did not attempt to convince him of it. She just tried to live as best she could as you are doing by stopping from doing certain things, as a life befitting a believer in Christ Jesus.

He of cause would not leave her alone. She finally told him that there was no way she could convince him, but since he was a Criminal Reporter for the Chicago Tribune (might have the paper wrong). That he should do what he does best. Investigate the story of Christ Jesus. See for himself. The best thing she could have done. Challenged him without diminishing him. Allowed that he was intelligent and could make up his own mind. Don't let your husbands negativeness or your old life style and his current one intrude/affect your Joy in the Lord and your new found Salvation!

Anyway this book might be a help, but the greatest help is you on your hands and knees praying for him. Do it in private. You filling the gap for your husband is something that spouses don't do enough of for each other. This includes believing couples as well.

God very well may choose to allow you to be the vehicle by which your husband comes to the Lord, but then again it might be meant that it happens that way or it might not happen at all. This decision you cannot make for him. No matter how much you love him, it really is between him and God. Just be there to support him, pray for him, and by your example show him the joy of a believer! Rejoice in the Lord little sister. Let your husband see that in you. He'll wonder more about why you can be happy in some dead guy or how you can be so happy even after he gives you so much grief!

If he asks you, then volunteer to him why you believe as you believe, but otherwise don't try to change him. It won't work. Let God do the heavy lifting! He's done it for all of us. Allow him to do it for your husband. Pray for him. Allow the Holy Spirit to work upon his heart, mind and spirit. That is where your power lies. It not in your strength, but God's that your husband will change!

I'll be praying with you that this is so!
YBIC
C4E
<><

‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' Says the LORD of hosts.
 
Loyal Member
The vows you made with him still hold true. If he wants to leave you because he doesnt want to be any part of your faith, you are free to let him go without trying to make him stay, but as long as your vows hold true, he may one day be convicted by your humble? yet joyous attitude. If you are not humble yet joyous, pray that God would help you be so, and pray for your husband daily.
 
If your marriage is worth saving to you , looks like some marriage counseling would be appropriate before you decide to split up. Hope you can work things out but , if you can't, and you want to remarry...a Christian with similar views would be appropriate.
Thank you for the kind advice. I suppose marriage counseling would be the next step! Keep us in your prayers. <3
The vows you made with him still hold true. If he wants to leave you because he doesnt want to be any part of your faith, you are free to let him go without trying to make him stay, but as long as your vows hold true, he may one day be convicted by your humble? yet joyous attitude. If you are not humble yet joyous, pray that God would help you be so, and pray for your husband daily.
I am far from humble, but you make a very significant point. For better or for worse is what we promised in our vows. Thank you for your input brother and I will take this into serious consideration. God Bless!
@breakbread

First I will keep in you and your husband in prayer.

Your story brings to mind a book I read which is called "A Case for Christ", by Lee Strobel.
The similarity is such that both the writer and his wife were atheist until his wife became a Christian. In his telling of it in the prologue of the book. He was amazed by the change in her. She was truly happy!! She did not attempt to convince him of it. She just tried to live as best she could as you are doing by stopping from doing certain things, as a life befitting a believer in Christ Jesus.

He of cause would not leave her alone. She finally told him that there was no way she could convince him, but since he was a Criminal Reporter for the Chicago Tribune (might have the paper wrong). That he should do what he does best. Investigate the story of Christ Jesus. See for himself. The best thing she could have done. Challenged him without diminishing him. Allowed that he was intelligent and could make up his own mind. Don't let your husbands negativeness or your old life style and his current one intrude/affect your Joy in the Lord and your new found Salvation!

Anyway this book might be a help, but the greatest help is you on your hands and knees praying for him. Do it in private. You filling the gap for your husband is something that spouses don't do enough of for each other. This includes believing couples as well.

God very well may choose to allow you to be the vehicle by which your husband comes to the Lord, but then again it might be meant that it happens that way or it might not happen at all. This decision you cannot make for him. No matter how much you love him, it really is between him and God. Just be there to support him, pray for him, and by your example show him the joy of a believer! Rejoice in the Lord little sister. Let your husband see that in you. He'll wonder more about why you can be happy in some dead guy or how you can be so happy even after he gives you so much grief!

If he asks you, then volunteer to him why you believe as you believe, but otherwise don't try to change him. It won't work. Let God do the heavy lifting! He's done it for all of us. Allow him to do it for your husband. Pray for him. Allow the Holy Spirit to work upon his heart, mind and spirit. That is where your power lies. It not in your strength, but God's that your husband will change!

I'll be praying with you that this is so!
YBIC
C4E
<><

‘Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' Says the LORD of hosts.
Thanks for such a well thought out response.
I believe most of our arguments stem from me trying to convince my husband to believe in Christ. And I have to remember that it really Is between him and GOD, and I cannot make him believe. The best I can do is be an example of a devoted Christian and to share insight only if he asks for it.
It's just so hard to see someone that I love struggle so much because he lacks faith. Nevertheless, no matter how much I want to force him to convert, the decision is ultimately his. I have to keep praying, just as you said, and maybe my light will shine on him. Thank you again for your post, it was desperately needed.
 
Loyal Member
1 Cor 7:13; And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
 
Hi breakbread,

I will be praying for you! There was a point in my life where my husband was not a Christian and the Lord changed that! There was also a stretch where I went away from my faith (which resulted in my trying out atheism, agnosticism, Buddhism, new age practices etc) and the Lord changed that! So my point is, keep the faith, and the focus on the Lord

Jude 1:22
And have mercy on those who doubt

I would say that it's important that you keep up with reading your bible and praying each day. This is where you will draw your strength. I am sorry things are so hard for you right now, trust me, I've been there. The Lord works in mysterious ways (and much better ways) than we can imagine.

I have a site to suggest for you as well, as it is one that has helped me immensely with my own walk with the Lord in regards to my husband. It is called The Peaceful Wife | Living in Submission to Christ As Lord
 
Moderator
Staff member
My husband is atheist. We were both atheists when we wedded, but I converted to Christianity.
We argue a lot. We don't have much in common. And he hates that I abstain from demonic music and sinful television. Plus he smells like cigarettes and makes me want one. (I've quit smoking now. ) He tells me that he will probably never believe in GOD.
When we argue I get very angry and call him names and scare him. I hate when we argue because it causes me to sin too (wrath).
Sometimes, I don't know whether to leave or stay. Please offer me some insight. Should I forgive him when we argue or hit the bricks?!

Greetings,

may I suggest you look first to the LORD and in doing so, also consider your ways.
OK, your husband does not believe. Point made and taken.
What about you?

You do.
So, concentrate on being all that you want to be as the LORD is willing that you be who you are meant to be, through grace and by faith. In other words, you say, "I get very angry and call him names and scare him."
OK, so what is the point of the splinter in your husbands eye? Do you understand? (please tell me if you don't and I shall attempt to explain)

Also, "I hate when we argue..." here again, it is you who is arguing that you need to be concerned about.

May I suggest that you give thanks for the situation as it is and continue to do so until you really mean it and even confess to the LORD that you might find it difficult to give thanks (if you do).
Do you realise that the LORD can reveal to you some fleshy bits that you need to deal with through prayer and faith?

Please don't beat yourself about it, because the Son has taken the beating already for you. Likewise do not let the enemy condemn you. Rather, give thanks and begin to count the blessings of the day.
Your first love is now the Son. In doing that love, you will not need to concern yourself with your husband, for the LORD knows well his condition and need.
Seek ye first... what? A happy marriage? No. The Kingdom of God and His righteousness...

Bless you and your husband ....><>
 
Loyal Member
1 Pet 3:1; In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
1 Pet 3:2; as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

This isn't always easy to do. It is especially hard when your spouse is abusive towards your
beliefs. But don't give up. My mom and dad are a good example of this.

My dad was non-believer for most of his life. But since my mom didn't drive, he always
drove her to church. Since he was there anyway, he might as well listen to whatever the
preacher was trying to say. Well in their case, they were married for 51 years before
my dad became a believer. I hope that isn't a discouragement, it certainly doesn't
have to take that long. But even if it does... there is always hope.
 
Active Member
For anyone in this situation, your first priority is to be a good role model to and for your faith. Prayer for an unbeliever only costs a bit of time and the other need not know. Do not argue for they never end in a win-win situation. Give reasonable answers if you're put on the defensive. If you can, defer the discussion to a later time when you're less rattled. Chances are they're looking for a chink in your armour that they can chip away at. Don't give them one. Keep your head on your shoulders, keep your sense of humour, keep them in your prayers, and keep your heart on Jesus internally if not able to externally. The last I checked, "love" is a four letter word you can still use in front of your mother. Phil 4:8.
 

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