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My guardian angel is on Prozac!

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Throughout my 65 years on this planet I have managed to get myself into potentially life threatening situations! I list some of the low-lights!

I was born on the Channel Island of Guernsey in 1950. For the first three months of my life I failed to thrive as I was allergic to the milk formula and I lost a lot of weight. Fortunately, and just in the nick of time, it was discovered that goat’s milk did the business for me!

1952 was rather perilous for yours truly. I managed to fall into a large pond and was on the brink of gasping my last when fished out!

A horse attached to a cart, which was standing on our drive, bolted when frightened by a low flying aircraft. I was approaching the horse at the time! Auntie Myra, a very brave lady, now in her late 90s, who was packing tomatoes in our shed, heard the commotion, ran towards me and the horse, and miraculously saved my bacon!

My childhood proceeded with many thrills and spills. I twice fell 14 ft out of tree I was forbidden to climb!

When I was ten I discovered some ordnance in our attic left over from the German occupation of WW2. The sky fell in when my parents discovered me kicking around a green, pineapple shaped object! The grenade was still live! My bottom still tingles from the thrashing I received!

My uncles owned a cabin cruiser on which we often sailed around the smaller islands off Guernsey. On one particular trip I was walking along the catwalk of the boat when it heeled over in a sudden squall, if my father hadn’t instantly grabbed me I would have ended up in Davy Jones’ locker!

At seventeen I passed my driving test in Guernsey. Later that year, when I visited my aunt in the UK, she allowed me to borrow her car. I had never encountered a roundabout before and managed to go around it the wrong way! Fortunately other startled road users took avoiding action and I was shaken, but no harm was done!

Many years later in Cambridgeshire, where I was then living with my husband and children, I was in the town when I came across the local bag lady being cruelly harassed by some yobs! Pulling myself up to my full 5ft 2.5inches’ I waded in and demanded they left her alone. For a long minute there was a menacing silence, and I thought they were going to attack me, fortunately they thought better of it and using a few unpleasant expletives they went on their way!

When we moved to North Wales in 1990 the property in which we were living was next to an untamed stretch of the original Offa’s Dyke. To this day I have no idea what possessed me, but I decided to walk up the middle of the Dyke, which was like a narrow gorge and quite steep. I was only wearing shorts and T shirt, and had stupidly told no one of my intentions. I managed to get to the middle and found I could get no further, but was unable to get back the way I had come either. All the brambles and briars had closed in on me! The only way was up! After an hour of slipping and sliding I arrived at the top in a sorry state. I was cut to ribbons by the brambles, branches and stones, which was no less than I deserved for my stupidity!

2002 was a year I won’t forget in a hurry! I was walking in the river meadow next to our Welsh farmhouse, it is undulating and I didn’t notice the 50 bullocks grazing there until too late. A low flying plane startled them and they all stampeded in my direction! I reckon I must have run the first 10 second mile in history as I outran them and vaulted over a convenient stile. My left arthritic ankle has never been right since!

About a month later, on a visit to our middle daughter and family in Milton Keynes, I was taken ill with appendicitis. I insisted that my husband drove me through the night all the way to our local hospital in Wrexham, in which I had confidence. My appendix was removed on the point of bursting, according to the surgeon!

In 2006 we were again visiting our middle daughter and family again they live on a couple of canal boats. I hit my head on hatch and a few days later I found myself in A&E with delayed concussion!

In October 2008 I was taking a walk in the river meadow beside our house when I missed my footing. I tumbled three feet down the bank face facedown in a bramble and briar patch, which actually broke my fall. Another three feet and I would have been in the river, which has some unpleasant looking rocks, which break the surface at that point! I am not sure how I got back up the bank as I was so tangled up! Somehow I managed it, but my face was badly scratched, and I was picking thorns out of my anatomy for the next few months! I ached like crazy and the fall hadn’t done my arthritic joints many favours either.

No wonder my guardian angel is on Prozac and threatening to give in his notice!


RJG
 
Moderator
Staff Member
@Bluecheese
Quite the story RJG of a lifetime!
Hope that you will have many more in your future, abet it be a bit more tranquil!
I'm sure your angle might appreciate it ;)
Thank-you for sharing.
C4E
<><
 
Member
@Bluecheese
Quite the story RJG of a lifetime!
Hope that you will have many more in your future, abet it be a bit more tranquil!
I'm sure your angle might appreciate it ;)
Thank-you for sharing.
C4E
<><
I very much doubt my future will be anymore tranquil, my children will no doubt write the last chapter of my autobiography when I do something even crazier than heretofore, or they have chucked me off the nearest cliff they keep threatening to do when I get even more senile than I am now!:D:D:D
 
Moderator
Staff Member
@Bluecheese
My hope is that you will do something even crazier!
Except they won't throw you off the cliff.........they'll think you've already gone off it! ;)
 

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