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Mental, Physical , Sexual Abuse

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by rizen1, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. Violated But Undefeated Ministries, Inc

    Mental & Physical Abuse

    Do not fret because of evildoers, nor be envious of the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Psalm 37:1-3

    The hardest thing to do is forgive someone who has violated you whether it’s mental or physical abuse. Our hearts tend to harden and we as saints forget about what the Lord has said to us concerning those who wrong us. But this is also a time of trust, a time of faith. We are put to the test to see if we can really walk by faith and not by sight. God wants us to turn to Him in our time of trouble and confusion. He said He would never leave us nor forsake us. All we have to do is ask and it shall be given to us, seek and we shall find, knock and the door will be opened.

    It took me years to forgive the four rapist and three molesters that harmed me. It took me getting saved, set free and delivered to forgive them. Only God can do this, not you, not man, but God. I don’t care how many programs you go to, how many therapists you see, how many support groups you join, its not the answer. In order to be healed from this cruel circumstance, it takes power and authority from the almighty God. The feelings, emotions and scars are buried so deep that only God can reach way down there and deliver you. We as humans tend to block things out, push them aside and because we bury them, we think we’re delivered. We think because we talk about it with folks who went to college for that particular degree, all is well. Not so! Let something happen to trigger your memory of the event that you went through.

    See it on the news, in the newspapers, etc and see what happens to you emotionally. But when God heals and delivers you, its as if nothing has ever happen to you. You feel for those that endure it, but it does not affect you to the point of you breaking down, crying, falling out, passing out, becoming angry, mad, etc. Yes of course because its sin, you become angry with the enemy, but you do not re-live it to the point of falling apart. You can talk about it and even sometimes laugh about it. People will think that you’re crazy because the experience is so traumatic.

    Only God can do that! That’s how amazing He is. So I urge you, as a matter of fact, I dare you to let go of the worldly cures and let GOD heal and deliver you. First, forgive yourself then forgive the one who brought harm against you. Watch God and see what happens. I promise you that your attacker will surely reap what they sowed. Pray for them and let God work it out. Remember: Whatever you went through in life is your MINISTRY, and your ministry is not for you, it’s for someone ELSE…
  2. Sure sister,
    This true in the life of many Gods children.Its truly important to pray for them.
    Joining you in this ministry to pray.
  3. Not severally, whatever we do for others, we do for ourselves to begin with.
  4. How do you forgive yourself first? i almost feel like i forgive them but i still cry and feel the pain...
  5. #5 Fragrant Grace, May 15, 2013
    Last edited: May 15, 2013
    Greetings @Kindacunfuzzle

    Forgiving ones self (even if you are the innocent victim) and forgiving those who have caused hurt can be very difficult and even seem impossible.

    But as Christians we have Jesus and in His strength we can achieve all things.
    Commit all those hurts and feelings to the Lord, and ask Him to deal with them.
    He loves you so much.
    The Lord knows all things, there is nothing He cannot do.....He wants us happy and rejoicing in His love and not to be caught up in past pain and memories

    He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
    He telleth the number of the stars; He calleth them all by their names.
    Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite.
    The LORD lifteth up the meek:
    Psalm 147:3-6
  6. #6 goga, May 15, 2013
    Last edited: May 15, 2013
    To forgive one has to be first of all a human, not an idea machine. Just a human, the thing, that God loves is us the most. There is no need to be, or become a Christian to have such a thing inside. In the beginning God created a human, not a Christian or anything else.
  7. I would like to just erm...not say that I'm an expert on this topic, but since I've been there...gone through it. I have forgiven them and myself. I am still healing. Healing is not an event that stops once you forgive those who hurt you and/or yourself, but a life time process.

    I do not mind if you read my testimony here at TJ and/or post it to these kinds of topics. It is truly a miracle that God did in my life that I want all to know. :)

    God Bless!
    Ronald Jeremy (RJ) and Dreamer like this.
  8. hello everyone. I'm in need of advice for my girl friend. she was molested as a child by her brother. there 4 years apart and happened when she was in 3rd grade and he in 6th or 7th. she finally let it out and finally shared with me. we have gone through tough times together but I want to help her in all that I can. She has forgiven him but cant seem to just let it go or always comes back. he recently moved back home and acts like nothing ever happened even after she confronted him and told him hoe he hurt her and forgave him he said sorry and that was it. she still doesnt feel comfortable around him nor does she want to be around him what so ever. he goes around asking her to hang out and come into his room and watch movies together and she just upset how he acts like nothing ever happend or like it was no big deal. she wants to know if its wrong to just not want to have a relationship with him and to just free her self from the chain thats holding her back. She wants to move on and just be happy and live her life. is it wrong for her to just to part her relationship with him and just forgive him???
  9. #9 Giggles4God, Jul 17, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2015
    @eddie reyna3 I personally believe that yes, she can break ties with him. It is a healthy thing to do, especially at this point where she is still feeling the deep wound. Some of the pain, hurt, turmoil, etc may go away in time. It may not. I think it is different for each person. If you wish, if she wishes, contact me here on TalkJesus. I STILL am going through the process of healing. I STILL have flashbacks, etc. BUT I know the Healer. :) Maybe she needs to talk to someone, to know that she isn't alone.

    I will pray for her, for you, for her family.
    Dreamer likes this.
  10. I guess the real question is can you love someone but not trust them? The problem I have seen for many who have been abused is that for some unknown reason, they blame themselves! As if what happened is somehow there fault?? That, because of there own sin, they are paying for it, and this is somehow a way they must endure there own pain, they even bring up a scripture to support this!!( gal 6:7-8) I have dealt with both brothers and sister along these lines. This mindset is just what the enemy wants to have to gain an opportunity over us!( eph 4:27)

    For those who have chosen to believe this lie, they are saying that the blood of Jesus was not enough for them? Jesus died for my sins but? No but! ( rom 4:8!!) Since Jesus died for ALL SIN,there is only one sin his blood could not cover!! Our UNBELIEF!!( example mark 6:4-6!) Jesus is bound by his own Word!! Jesus is limited in what he himself can do in this regard. You will notice Jesus always asks if a person believes before the gift of healing is granted.Even in Mark 9:23-24 the man did say he believed,help thou my unbelief. Jesus did! verse 25

    There are many who believe the Jesus has no limits,that Jesus can do all things,but if this were so,why then could he not heal many who were sick because of THERE UNBELIEF?? While it is very true our Jesus can do all things!!( luke 1:37) Jesus requires something of the one who is in need as well!! They must believe upon him!( rom 10:9-13) Who does the crying out? Who does the calling?? verse 13! verse 14!( the Lord does the choosing! john 15:16-17) A brother from a church showed me this scripture,it is the only one he can present.( rom 9:16-20) But he overlooks verse 15!! this was under the old covenant! For who deserves his grace? Who can earn it?And if you go back to verse 6 upon God's sovereignty this was dealing with what has passed, not present. look at verses 30-33.

    We cannot take a few scripture and twist them to mean something they do not,although many do. Sorry, did not mean to rabbit trail a bit from the topic! Forgiveness is to me the hardest lesson of all! ( psalms 103:6-17) 1 cor 13:4-8!) If we do not forgive, we cannot say we have love either!!This is the blunt truth! A very hard lesson I had to learn,took me 8 long years to forgive my earthly dad! Jesus will help! But we are also required to do something as well!! Stay in HIS WORD!! To renew our minds!! We are without excuse! ( rom 1:20-23!!)

    Flesh likes to Imitate Spirit! But that cannot last! i know!! i did it for 8 years! Words come forth by accident showing where we really are! I told on myself more then once! So how then did I do this? I believed what Jesus said over my thoughts or feeling! I had to do my part which is to believe! Jesus has already done the rest!! ( 2 Peter 1:3-11) Notice something so important! ( rom 10:4!!) To everyone who does what??? YES BELIEVES!! It was not that Jesus ever changed, for he cannot not,but his covenant sure did!! ( gal 6:2-5!!) The law of Christ!

    There are many loads each of us believers looks to carry,some are very heavy indeed! We hear look to help each to be able to carry that load!Because we each have our own to carry as well! The action done to you was very wrong,and I know has hurt you very deeply! But sister no one here can make you forgive or understand,we sure encourage you,and we sure love you! We have to decide upon believing sis,and if we believe, our words change as well as our actions,that is john 13:34, that is 1 cor 13:4-8) Upon having his wonderful promises, they do us no good whatsoever unless we choose to believe in them,and if we believe we act upon them as well!

    It is a tough truth i had to learn sis,and I did not go through anything as tough as you did! But punishing yourself and condemning ( rom 8:1) yourself,will never hurt another except us! We are a work in progress dear sister!( phil 1:6) But if we believe upon our Jesus and all he has already done, and ever will do,then we understand love! And can now REST! For believing brings joy and peace!( rom 15:13) So we all can abound in hope! Hope which is not like the world,but rather the assurance of our very faith!( heb 11:1) BELIEVING!!

    My prayers and love from Jesus rest upon you sister! My the Lord help you to become restored as he restored me! he can,if we but believe! ( mark 5:35-36) be not afraid any longer!!! Only believe!! amen!
  11. I vote she doesn't break ties! People that don't deserve love are sometimes the ones that need love the most. Pray for him. Pray for her.

  12. Hi all I feel forgiveness is the hardest thing we face as Christians it took me a year to forgive my ex fiancée for cheating with another man but with prefer and scripture reading and the lords help you will get there in the end God bless x
    Sent from an iPad
  13. First I applaud you for asking this. I was in a marriage for seven years and my husband didn't care that the rape and molestation effected me so much. He was more interested in when he could have sex with his wife.
    You can be a huge advocate for your girlfriend. Helping her go through the healing process, find her voice, and identity. I think that she should cut ties with her abuser especially since he is acting like nothing happened. Many women are revictimized by their abusers because of this. If she has to be in contact with him, example they live in the same house, then she needs to set up boundaries. She under no circumstances should allow him in her room, or her go in his, and she should limit any alone time with him.
    Also if she has never got counseling, read any christian books on the subject, or been in a healing small group then she should try that. We have one locally that was called Door of hope, but now it is Redeemed Esteemed. It has been very helpful in healing for women that have been sexually abused. It is also helpful for the ladies to be able to openly talk about it in a safe environment.
  14. I think I'm past the forgiveness stage in my journey. My current struggles are letting my past not define me, seeing myself equal with other christians especially men, and when I do get to know a christian man that I want to date, how much of my past should I tell him? Technically its in the past, its forgiven, washed clean. So do they even need to know? I tend to bring it up because unfornately I allowed it to define me for so many years, that I am not sure who I am without that pain. I don't feel the pain anymore, it doesn't bother me at much. Its more just who am I now? And some of it is that that is my testimony, something that God has brought me through. And I know it is a calling on my life to help women and children that are going through abuse, prostitution, etc.
  15. I am in the process of healing I have been a victim of any abuse you can think of throughout my whole life including just finally running from my husband who abused me for 18 yrs this past march.......I have chosen not to hate however though the temptations arise s and I have to take it to the Lord. God has placed a wonderful pastor and his wife who have given me the best Biblical I have ever had . God is healing me and soon I will be able to share my testimony in full with those God places in my path
    Ronald Jeremy (RJ) likes this.
  16. Deliverance is a powerful thing only God can do, yes.

    Deliverance from evil often means you get the hell out of there and dont look back. Run to God! He is your refuge and strong tower! Think of how God delivered Lot from sodom and gomorrah. Lots wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Sodom and gomorrah were completely destroyed...dont look for your life in the ashes...God will give you beauty for ashes.
    Sent from a mobile device
    Ronald Jeremy (RJ) likes this.
  17. Amen ! that is what I am praying for
    Ronald Jeremy (RJ) likes this.
  18. Amen! There is always better ahead! Romans 8:28 All things work together for the good to those who love God and are called according to their purpose God deserves our Praise through difficult times! God Bless! :)

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