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Marriage Spirituality, Discipline Of Conversation..

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Dear Married brothers and sisters in Christ,

It can be be easier said than done when we are ministered, "We must always communicate in our marriages." Think of a time when you experienced a communication breakdown with your spouse.

Those of you that had an opportunity to read last month's thread on Marriage Spirituality, Discipline Of Prayer..God hears our prayers. Why not our challenges to converse in marriage? He can break down walls and create an opening for dialogue, however, it is a delicate process. Here are some steps. Please think about how these areas may aid you and your spouse in developing the joys of discipline in communicational growth;

Developing Soul Intimacy, a stronger bonding and friendship within your marriage to each other.

Developing couple conversation is not merely knowing what to say but knowing how to listen.

Each day we must make the decision to build intimacy with our spouse.

It is important to know and overcome the obstacles to soul intimacy.

Four Levels of Intimacy in marriage

Functional - Discuss the areas of stability in your marriage

Receptive - Ready or willing to receive favorably, open and responsive to ideas, impressions, or suggestions.

Reciprocal - Mutually shared, felt, respected, or shown by both sides.

Knitted - To form, to join closely, unite securely.

Equipping by Listening

Please read and meditate on James 1:19-20, "My dear brothers (and sisters), take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

Create an equipping environment. When you folks spend time in conversation, spend it in a quiet area not in front of the 46" television or your entertainment center with Bose speakers. Lol!

Equip your spouse's unique spirituality. Please support her desired ministries to serve God. Allow her to be led by God's calling of her gifts and talents in the church. If there are struggles with this lay this at His feet, be still, and allow for God's direction.

Equip your spouse's priesthood. He is being built up to be a Godly servant in his home and in the church. If there are struggles with this lay this at His feet, be still, and allow for God's direction.

Suggestions for putting it into practice your conversation.

1. Talk about your first experiences of warmth of God's love in your life.

2. Share how each of you now experience closeness with God.

3. Discuss what you are presently doing to open up your life to God.

4. Consider what you sense God is saying to you and your spouse now.

5. Share some of the pictures (images) you have of God.

6. Apart from your marriage relationship, consider the most important relationships in your life and then talk about your spiritual desires for these people.

7. Talk about what you most often feel guilty of.

8. Discuss your current level of contentment with life, with the marriage, with the family, with church, with work, etc.

9. Share with your spouse the meaning of your life.

10. Discuss with each other your dreams for (and concerns of) the future.

Many of you folks are celebrating a long and fruitful marriage! Please share your testimony that may be an encouragement to the rest of us.

Your brother in Christ Jesus.
 
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Hey Bob,
Im not married but i have problems with relationships, with my fellow brothers in christ and potential love intrest. I have been in what my generation calls the game for so long and i seem to bathe the girl i want to be with in compliments and her ears and heart starts to spread wide as the sea but when the opportunity of love presents itself, I become bombarded with the responsiblities of expressing my love through conversation from fear of embarassment. Im afraid that i will let her expectations down and fail in being the man to protect and love her. I was brought up in a single family household and my understanding of committed love is only viewed to me through christ. Christ shows a love for us always and when i do that i either love her to much or not enough. I understand the god love but the day to day person to person love escapes me.
Your faithful brotha in christ Legacy:love:
 
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Legacy said:
Hey Bob,
Im not married but i have problems with relationships, with my fellow brothers in christ and potential love intrest. I have been in what my generation calls the game for so long and i seem to bathe the girl i want to be with in compliments and her ears and heart starts to spread wide as the sea but when the opportunity of love presents itself, I become bombarded with the responsiblities of expressing my love through conversation from fear of embarassment. Im afraid that i will let her expectations down and fail in being the man to protect and love her. I was brought up in a single family household and my understanding of committed love is only viewed to me through christ. Christ shows a love for us always and when i do that i either love her to much or not enough. I understand the god love but the day to day person to person love escapes me.
Your faithful brotha in christ Legacy:love:
Hey Legacy,

I read your post carefully and the key words that stuck out was bombarded, fear, and afraid. It seems that you have taken your feelings upon yourself and regard the current generation's view of potential love as the game.

Perhaps your approach as a Christian man to this young woman should be with prayer to our Father, keeping it Christ centered, and expressing from your heart with purity. This will eleviate the former feelings of bombardment of fear and cleanse "bathing the young woman with compliments". Her expectations of you may change, in that you being the Godly man you are, to love and support her.

Please read and meditate on 1 Corinthians 8:36-38 If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin-this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.

Legacy, please allow God to lead you in the direction of your relationship. You will know at that moment what to say, taking the pressure off of you. You will know if the time is not right and your companion will be inspired by your witness, brother.

Your brother in Christ Jesus.
 
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Jesus is the answer

Thanks Bob,

I really appreciate the reply, I now understand where i went wrong. I never invited christ into this relationship. I wanted to control the situation and couldnt. My strength has increased from this knowledge, eventhough i knew i didnt bring it to mind. Bob with this info I believe that you saved alot of friendships.
GBU Brotha
May god prosper you!
 
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Bobinfaith ... You Sound Like A Man Of Wisdom In Marriage . My Wife And I Will Be Sharing Our 25 Year Anniversary August 23'rd . If You Have A Chance , Please Write Papabear15 . He Is A New Brother To The Site , But I Have Been Friends With Him For 35 Yr's . He Really Needs You're Encouragement And Wisdom . I'll Let Him Tell You Why . I Told Him About All The Help He Could Get On This Site ! Please Write Him . Big-brother
 
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BROTHERSINARMST4G said:
Bobinfaith ... You Sound Like A Man Of Wisdom In Marriage . My Wife And I Will Be Sharing Our 25 Year Anniversary August 23'rd . If You Have A Chance , Please Write Papabear15 . He Is A New Brother To The Site , But I Have Been Friends With Him For 35 Yr's . He Really Needs You're Encouragement And Wisdom . I'll Let Him Tell You Why . I Told Him About All The Help He Could Get On This Site ! Please Write Him . Big-brother
Dear Big-Brother,

Praise God for you and your wife! August 23rd will be a day of celebration, brother! Your testimony is an encouragement for many brothers and sisters here at Talk Jesus.

Papabear15 is a blessing and we were there for him in Live Chat one evening and though the Work is in the hands of God we served Him in fellowship with Papabear15.

We messaged Papabear15 and hope he will be back. We miss him already.

Thank you for sharing, Big-Brother!

Your servant in Christ Jesus.
 

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