Losing my faith.

[Venabambina]

Over the past few months I feel like I have been losing my faith. It all started when I was feeling really down one day and I prayed really hard for God to give me peace. Well, I have never felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as strongly as I did that day. I actually heard God speak to me and comfort me and tell me that tomorrow is a new day. He told me he's always by my side as my friend, I should never feel alone, and I should stop being so scared of everything and that tomorrow I should wake up and have a new attitude with the knowledge that he's with me. I have never felt so at peace, loved, strong in my faith, strong as a person, or close to God as I did then.

I woke up the next morning, vowing to do what God told me to do. I woke up feeling great, with the attitude that I wasn't going to be afraid any more because He was with me and I was going to be a great witness for Him and my life was going to be different. Well, Satan had other plans for me.

Ever since that morning, the harder I try to get closer to God, the harder the devil has been pulling me away. I feel as if I am being tortured on a daily basis. He has been confusing the Word when I read it, he has been twisting my mind when I pray. He has been filling me with doubt, guilt, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, self-loathing, horrible thoughts of me being worthless in God's eyes, thoughts of me not being saved any more because I'm not good enough and I haven't done enough to deserve to be saved so why should I even bother any more. I have been having thoughts of hate for other people that are not my thoughts. I have been having thoughts of suicide that are not my own. (Last week, I even contemplated killing myself with pills.) Whenever I try to pray, I get these thoughts that my prayers are worthless because there is no God anyway. I get thoughts that I would be better off as an atheist because my life would be easier (which is ridiculous). I can't even describe how hopeless I feel and I just wish every day to die so I can go be with my Savior. I wish to die before Satan totally takes my faith away from me.

I'm fighting with every ounce of strength I have but I feel so very, very alone. I feel that God is so very, very far away. I have no one to talk to about this. My ENTIRE family (except for me and my daughter) are either atheists, "cultural Catholics", new age agnostics, or somewhere in between. Even my husband is having doubts between Islam and Christianity. Even when I went to church and was going to go to the prayer team to have them pray for me, something held me back, like everyone there was looking at me and judging me and thinking badly of me and I just wanted to run away and go home. I feel I don't even have God any more. I have nobody. I know he didn't abandon me. I know in my heart he's there but satan is making me feel like He's not.

The thing is, I KNOW these thoughts are not my own. I KNOW they are all lies and I keep telling myself that and praying to God to help me but they just won't GO AWAY. Reading the Word isn't helping at all. In fact, it's making me feel worse because it makes me feel that I'm not living up to God's expectations. It has been giving me absolutely no comfort. Praying isn't helping at all either.

I'm just a big mess all the way around; Spiritually, emotionally, physically (I'm pregnant and feel horrible), and mentally. I desperately need all the prayers I can get before I lose my mind.

I'm also feeling horrible about myself because I cannot help my family either. They are all so lost. Nothing I say will convince them. I felt worthless when my faith was strong; now that feeling has quadrupled.

Please help me. I don't know what to do any more. I want my baby to be born into a loving, stable environment.

 

[Ann]

It is not so easy to help or give you advice because their is a lot of things that can be a problem in your life that you did not make part of this summary.

I can only testify about my own life in the hope that it can help you to get out of this situation.
I've been where you are now several times and I found the only way to get out of such a pit is to make a conscious decision. Kneeling before God and admitting that I can't help myself and asking Him to do the work of helping me get out.

The main thing that really helped me was to stop concentrating on my problems and consciously setting my mind on Jesus Christ. When I felt myself sinking I would start talking to Jesus, it didn't matter where I was or what I was doing as long as I was concentrating on Jesus and not my problems.
And I found in no time I was lifting up and up until I was on level ground again.
When we concentrate on the giant instead of Jesus, the giant will get bigger and bigger and Jesus smaller - turn it around and let Jesus get bigger until the giant is so small that you can hardly see him.

It is actually very important that I mention that I didn't to it alone, I realized that I needed help and turned to a Christian friend for guidance and support.
Never be to proud to admit to someone that you need their help - that is why God put people on our path - to use their hands to reach us on a more human level. Other Christians with whom we must have fellowship will guide, carry and lighten our burden until we can stand alone again.

Please also remember that nothing that you have to go through will be to much to carry - God promised "Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Please don't entertain the thoughts of suicide or any other negative thoughts it will lead to spiritual death and you will sink deeper into the pit that you are already in.

Go in your knees and ask God what He wants to teach you through these trials because one thing is for sure it has a purpose and God uses trials to test and teach us. If you go through this you will become stronger in spirit and that is the purpose of trials.

Look at the positive not the neagative - always expect something good to come out of situations like this - if you can accomplish this you will soar like an eagle above the storm and it is not so difficult to do - it is only one conscious decision away.

I will pray for you.

Lots of love!:girl_hug:

Blessings!

 

[4Given]

I will be praying for you in this,God Bless

 

[Chad]

Sister, please watch this short video/skit. I think it'll make you feel a lot better. Its something all of us can relate to.

http://www.talkjesus.com/streaming-video/15769-lifehouse-skit.html

How about this amazing letter from GOD?
http://www.talkjesus.com/get-saved-now/9596-fathers-love-letter.html

I noticed you expressed your negative thoughts/feelings by starting off saying this

the harder I try to get closer to God, the harder the devil has been pulling me away.

Look at the negative feelings you mentioned. Do you agree with what satan is telling you? I doubt it, so therefore you should not listen to the ******* of all lies. Listen to GOD. Remember what you said here

I have never felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as strongly as I did that day

I understand how you feel, as everyone else does being human. We need to remember to tell the devil to shut up. Actually, no need to say anything to him. Ignore him.

James 4:7
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

As far as convincing your family about Jesus Christ, well it hurts but the truth is its not your job to convince them. The Holy Spirit does that. We are to preach and pray for them, yes but otherwise we cannot do anything beyond that. Prayer is very powerful. Its more powerful it seems when we've encountered a powerful miraculous result of the prayers. Some experience greater miracles from GOD than others, but acknowledge prayer is the greatest most powerful weapon in the world. Its a connection spiritually with Jesus our GOD!

We all battle the devil, but he is defeated by Christ. We must take one day at a time.

Remember:

• ignore the devil, he's a liar (all negative thoughts/feelings come from him)
• don't stress about convincing loved ones...leave it with GOD
• remember the day you felt the Holy Spirit's presence strongly...its not the end at all

 

[fireflyyb]

I may not understand your circumstances, but I do understand what you're going through. I, too, am faced with a similar thing and can offer no words of other than to tell you, you are not alone. Others are going through this kind of thing too, whether they are willing to admit it or not. I kind of feel like I'm an accident victim in ICU clinging to life. I don't know the reasons why. All I know is that we have to cling to God and not let go despite everything we have being stripped from us. It feels like all I've done is cling to life for the past 37 years. Anywho, I'm going through this, too. I will pray for you. Please pray for me, too.

 

[TheWidowsOffering]

so ur very aware that what's happening to you is of the devil... why allow it beloved??

at times like these..when pray, we need to stand and remind of the devil who he is... he's a liar... an accuser... a deceiver... tell him he is and reject his lies and deceptions on you... after rejecting, thank God for all what He has promised you, receiving it by faith....

there are times that when i come to pray, i see darkness and ugly figures, scary ones that i need to battle first before i could pray... If we chose to use our God-given authority, we can resist the devil... he will surely flee and his demons... don't cling on your emotions beloved which are very negative.. the devil will use it against you.. rather believe on what God has to say on You... don't let the enemy steal them in your heart and mind... he's a thief and want to steal God has told you... oh don't let him...


Scriptures about your authority in Christ

Luke 10:19
Matthew 18:18
James 4:7
1John 4:4

God bless you and may God uphold your life bringing into fruition your own salvation.. Amen



Sister in Christ,


Reymielin

 

[lettheredeemed]

As believers we are called to" let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus" The only way this is possible is if we spend time in his Word and pray daily. I can only speak from my own experience, but oftentimes when I feel like I am slipping away it is a result of a neglect of time in the Word or time in prayer.
When we fail to eat and nourish our bodies they get weak. The same is true in our spiritual walk. We need a personal relationship with our Savior. The scripture teaches us to put on the whole armour of God that we might withstand the wiles of the devil.
Prayer is fellowshiping with Jesus. Not only do we talk to Him but if we listen He will guide us in our daily walk.

 

[Boanerges]

My sister, when it comes to those kind of thoughts they are generally not your own. There is an old saying about these things "you cannot stop a bird from landing on your head but you can sure stop it from building a nest".

We are not called to fight such battles in our own strength:
2Co 10:3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
2Co 10:4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds
2Co 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
But we are called to a walk of faith. You said God was with you and gave you a great promise. He said He would never leave you nor forsake you and He never has.
It is time to take hold of that promise and walk out each step in total dependence on Him.
Will you put your faith in what you feel, see, hear and perceive or do you put your faith in Him?
He is ever faithful, He is ever merciful, He is ever loving and kind. No matter where we stumble it is never more than one step back to His arms.
You are in my prayers,
Many blessings in Jesus Name,
brother Larry.

 

[all4jesus17]

Sister I have been there and I actually am still getting out of it. The Devil is trying to give you his all because God wants to give you his all. You know God has a wonderful plan for you but the Devil doesnt want it! I dont think the devil would be causeing all of this because you are worthless, but because you are worth something! Don't give up! The devil doesnt want you to read you word, so keep on doing it! When you are doing something for God and the devil is pressing you not to do it..its because he knows God sees you and he is answering your prayers! Trust me, I thought I lost my faith too, I was so much into so much confusion and I thought I was headed for the cookoos nest! But God sees you, he hears you, and he does not want to to give up! Trust in him, this too shall pass sister. I'm praying for you, and for peace, joy, and comfort to sweep over you. Your standing in the gap for your family and i think the devil knows the difference you are going to make in their lives. NEVER GIVE UP. GOD BLESS YOU SISTER I LOVE YOU!
~Melanie