Looking for feedback to help my client

[ipeoples]

I am a licensed therapist. I have a client who is struggling with homosexuality. As a therapist I don't impose my own beliefs, but rather allow clients to share their beliefs and try to guide them in processing those thoughts or feelings of inner conflicts. The client is struggling with believing that homosexuality is wrong. She was born in a family that has strong religious beliefs but her feelings are if it were wrong, then why doesn't she feel conviction about it such as she does when she lies, or does other things that she deems as wrong. We have discussed her beliefs (not her family's) about whether she thinks there really is a hell / heaven and she believes. I just don't know what direction to take or how to assist her with this struggle without imposing my own belief system. I would also ask your prayers that I will be lead of God in dealing with her, but I would like to get some feedback of how I can approach her about this in our next session.

 

[Sue D.]

Well -- for one thing - there's a reason why she's struggling. Does she want it to be okay or not okay. When there's inner struggling, it Usually indicates that she realizes there's something not right and wants to know how to handle it.
Society tells us that 'if it feels good, do it'. That's it's okay to experiment / explore our sexuality. But God's Word give us guidelines for a Reason. And maybe it's her thought life -- what she allows herself to think about. Or maybe she 'pleasures' herself and equates that to homosexuality and feels guilty about that.

I'll admit that I've gone through some of that myself some years ago.

Are you a Biblical counselor? You'd be sharing Biblical teaching. God's word says that a woman is not to 'lay' with another woman the same way a man and a woman would 'lay' together,

How old is your client?

Many years ago I did a college research paper on the gay right's movement. Learned a great deal. A lot of women experience curiosity during their life time. They will have a close friend who they talk to about their curiosity and sometimes will experiment together and regret it and sometimes they discover things about themselves they had no clue about before. They need to acknowledge that there are boundaries in relationships for a reason. God created men and women to be together to take care of each other's needs. And those needs are only to be cared for within a marriage. Which Also means that single people are not to indulge themselves sexually.

what is her home situation? Is her mother a strong leadership role in the family? Is her Dad in the background?

Does she feel an attraction To other women? Does she recognize that it's not a sin to be attracted To - but it's how a person reacts To the attraction. And What is she being attracted To in other females.

Is she attracted to guys?

Has she had an aunt or female cousin approach her for intimacy?

Has she gotten into watching Lesbian porn on internet?

The fact that she's approaching you as a therapist indicates that she Is questioning those thoughts / feelings within herself.

has she come to see you on her own or brought in by a member of her family or referred to you by her pastor or someone?

I would ask her about her personal salvation experience -- if there has been one for her.

 

[Jesus_is_LORD]

I am a licensed therapist. I have a client who is struggling with homosexuality. As a therapist I don't impose my own beliefs, but rather allow clients to share their beliefs and try to guide them in processing those thoughts or feelings of inner conflicts. The client is struggling with believing that homosexuality is wrong. She was born in a family that has strong religious beliefs but her feelings are if it were wrong, then why doesn't she feel conviction about it such as she does when she lies, or does other things that she deems as wrong. We have discussed her beliefs (not her family's) about whether she thinks there really is a hell / heaven and she believes. I just don't know what direction to take or how to assist her with this struggle without imposing my own belief system. I would also ask your prayers that I will be lead of God in dealing with her, but I would like to get some feedback of how I can approach her about this in our next session.

Thanks for sharing, I am also a licensed therapist, LCSW-C. Thanks for posting the questions. I also have clients
who deal with same sex attraction.

I definitely understand the position about not imposing your own beliefs however we should be mindful that the therapist
is not a total blank slate. Keep in mind that clients come to a professional because they believe that they professional has some
insight that they the client is lacking. Furthermore as human beings there are general values that we hold and for a better society
we collectively try to promote. Lastly as a professional you have the insight of gathering experience from working with many clients,
and that insight can be used to help other clients. So a client who comes to me and is battling anxiety but smokes weed can
benefit from the fact that I see many clients who smoke weed to relax their anxiety but long term it makes it worst. As
a professional that is information that I have and can share with my clients because I have the experience of helping people
more towards healing and I build a knowledge set of what helps them get there. So most clients if they want to get better
will want to hear from me that clients got better with their anxiety when they stopped smoking weed and found healthier
coping skills. It wouldn't be a matter of me forcing anything on them.

I'm not sure your discipline (pscyhology, counseling, psychiatry, social work, etc) but I am a clinical social worker.
My code or ethics tells us that we have a responsibility to our clients along with balancing a clients right to self-determination.
But that right is not absolute. For example, I'm required by law to warn if a client is a danger to another persons life, I am
mandated to report child abuse, and am able to emergency petition a client to the hospital against their will if they are a
danger to themselves.

So with that said, let me liberate and encourage you to feel confident in knowing that you can support a client
towards what you think is in their best interest.

Think of other professions for example, if someone goes to a medical doctor and a doctor knows that smoking
is bad for the clients health, the doctor does not say, I 'm not going to tell them that it is bad because I don't want to
impose my beliefs, the doctor will share based on his or her knowledge because the doctor is the expert on physical health.
Likewise if someone comes to a therapist an is considering exploring same sex attraction and the therapist being the expert
in that area of the research, considering how those who choose that path are more at risk for suicide and more susceptible to
diseases such as AIDS, it is not imposing your beliefs to share what you as the expert knows.

Imposing ones belief has to do with trying to force it after the person rejects it.

I normally would start by having the client explore who they are, their identify. If they identify as a Christian
I would have them explore what that means to them. If they talk about same sex relations seeming normal
I would have them explore if they are aware of any of the negative consequences for the path.
Once again the technique is really to ask questions where they answer for themselves and come to the
truth by their own self-discovery. However there are times when the client may say there are not aware
of any negative effects of that lifestyle, than at which it invites you as the professional to share what you
know. But only after first allowing them to invite you to share.

As a therapist I find that most people are seeking help. Some wants advice and others want to vent.

Two suggestions for you, one feel empowered in knowing that it is ethically ok to share good science
with your client about any issue they are dealing with or use your knowledge based
on what has helped other clients. You are seeking their best interest and as a social
worker our training is that the therapeutic relationship is the most important factor in the change process.
Meaning if the client knows that you care about them they will invite you to speak on sensitive issues
in their lives because they feel comfortable and see you as competent.,

Number two, help the client explore their identity, who are they at their core? DO they consider themselves
a Christian first or a homosexual first? Does their relationship with Jesus inform all other aspects of their
identity or does their sexual identify inform their relationship with Jesus.

I probably don't have to tell you that you want to make the therapeutic space nonjudgmental and accepting.
But know that just because you are sharing with someone something that is contrary to what they are
doing it doesn't mean that you are not accepting them. A doctor can inform a patient that smoking is bad.
Many doctors inform their clients that they need to lose weight, but clients don't automatically say I'm
never going back to this doctor because they told me I needed to lose weight. It is a matter of the delivery.
So let me give you a sample dialogue related to my style of therapy.



--------------------------
ME: Welcome back John, good to see you today, how are you doing?
CLIENT: I'm fine but I'm still struggling with the same issue.

ME: Are you referencing what we talked about last session about your same sex attraction?
CLIENT: Yes, I'm so confused. It doesn't make sense.

ME: Which part doesn't make sense? (open ended questions)
CLIENT: You know how I'm told that being gay is wrong but it feels natural to me.

ME: So it seems like it is hard for you to imagine how something can be wrong but feel natural is that correct? (Paraphrase)
CLIENT: Yes, I guess that is correct.

ME: Can you think of any think that you thing are wrong but sometimes for many people it seems natural? (reflecting questions)
CLIENT: Perhaps, well II think about cheating, some people cheat like it is nothing but I think that is wrong.

ME: So you are able to imagine that there are things that are wrong but in our minds we are ok with it. It seems that perhaps your
struggle is not merely the fact that if something feels natural then it is good. It seems that maybe your struggle is why this particular
subject feels natural but you are told it is wrong?

CLIENT: Maybe, I mean it just feels so natural to me and I think this is who I am. How can I change that?

ME: Sounds like you are saying that in addition to feeling natural you feel that the same sex attraction is a part of
your identity. As a result you don't see how you could change that identity

CLIENT: You are correct, we can't just change who were are you know. Like a lion can't just wake up one
day and be a vegetarian and a zebra can't wake up one day and start eating meat. They have a
certain nature which is who they are.

ME: I see you are really thinking about this topic. Perhaps we can bring in your faith and spirituality to see
if it can help you get better clarity. So you state that you are a Christian correct?
CLIENT: Yes I would say so. Yes.

ME: So what does that mean to you to be a Christian.
CLIENT: Well it means I follow Christ.

ME: That sounds about right, In my understanding of the Christian faith it seems that one
of the main focuses is on the ability of Jesus to make someone new or transform
and change your identity. Is that your understanding as well.
CLIENT: Yes.

ME: So if you believe that as a Christian you are able to become transformed into something new,
do you feel that it would apply to your sexual orientation as well, or do you think that is one
area that God cannot transform?
CLIENT: Good question, let me think about it


------etc, etc, etc---------------------------------------------


So that just gives you an idea of the process. Feel free to ask more specific questions based on what I shared.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Greetings @ipeoples

As therapists or health professionals we can get easily caught up in worldly systems that prevent the truth being clearly outlined.

The red tape that surrounds everything these days thwarts Biblical Truth.

The Bible is clear on its stance on homosexuality

The client is struggling with believing that homosexuality is wrong.

Then what stops you from telling her it is wrong and leading her in the right way?

Is it your worldly rules and regulations?

This client is struggling with sin.....you have an opportunity to share the truth.

I'm not ashamed to own my Lord,
Or to defend his cause,
Maintain the honor of His Word,
The glory of His cross.*



*Hymn - Isaac Watts