Life SO taken by granted

[Property Of God]

Through my bad down days, i mean the really bad days when i can't get out of bed or do anything, going not through stress, it's more like strain and losing faith, giving up on everything and finding no hope or reason to live, i think about death, i'd never consider committing suicide, don't get me wrong, i just wonder how the pain could just stop and i'll be in peace, i really do wish to be dead sometimes, many times.

well until last night, i had such a bad nightmare which i know God sent to me to get me to think about my fatal thoughts,

the dream goes like, i'm sitting in a car at the backseat, and my dad is driving, then he gets out of the car and for some reason i take the wheel and drive, driving on a very narrow bridge with storms and rain around and i lose control over the car and i figure out i don't even know how to drive! and the car goes all by it self speeding so fast and i crash into a car that 2 seconds away was miles away.
I scream so loud as i crash into it then Thank God my alarm went on to wake me up to go to class and i wake up, saved by the alarm from death!

Then i knew that if i wanted to die to won't just happen when i'm sitting and feeling cosy, it's going to be extremly scary and painful, so, Thank God for that scary nightmare and thank him for waking me up both metaphor like and literally.

I'm glad i'm alive.