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Letting other know your not alone

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Member
To anyone out there who may be hurting from sexual abuse. I am writing in hopes to encourage someone to take care of their need and bring forth this great pain.

You are not alone and if you haven't gone forth about being abused please do. Im not saying that it will be easy to do or that going through the process of police and family services, then court will be an experience you would want, but it is necessary.

I feel that it is necessary at this point in time to introduce myself. I am 16 and am about to become a high school senior. I am really rather quiet and dont say whats on my mind too often, but I care for people with such a capacity that its unexplainable. That is why I am coming forth today, I feel that since these things have happened I can do something about it and take this very thing that SATAN intended for harm and use it as a tool to help others find healing, acceptance, love and joy once again in the arms of the lord.

I have gone through 3 incidents with 2 not reported and one that has just ended. The two unreported happened when I was younger, one at age 7 and the other lasted from age 8 to 12, the third one happened when I was 13 1/2 and was done by someone I considered a father since mine was not around growing up.

All that has happened filled me with fear and hate, anger, low selfworth, and thoughts of suicide. I still think sometimes about suicide when the memories flood back, but I am stronger then that, just look how far I have come already. I wouldn't have made it these last 2 years if it wasn't for the christian friends that I reached out for or without GOD.

I will tell you about going to a cop, its not that bad. It took me two tries until i was able to get through the whole story. The officers were patient and very comforting. This is also how Family service workers were as well.

Court was ok, because I had my friend there with me and I knew that whatever happened she would be there to support me. AT the sentencing I read my victim impact statement and it was tough because my uncle the perpitrayer was only 5 feet away staring at me. I got through my statement and then he made a statement. He looked directly at me and in my eyes but I couldn't look at him so i turned my head away and he stopped. but gradually continued, what he said made me cry because I always though of him as a father and trusted him. I faced my friend on my left and a tear rolled down my face and that was the first time she had ever seen me cry, and we sat there letting the tears fall. Crying was something I dont do because i had it drilled into my head that it showed weakness and was bad so all I ever knew was to bottle up my emotions.

You can take hold of your future and your life once again, all you have to do is decided to do it.
 
Member
Beardy, God bless you i hope our little discussion in the chat rooms helped, Cast all your memories out in the name of jesus as the devil will torment you with them, you are a new creation and already have the victory!

Give it all to god.

thanks for having the courage to share this with us.
 
Member
Wow bless your heart :love: Thank you for the courage of describing what you have to go through formally with police and courts and stuff. . .you really might make way for someone who doesnt know how to go about . . .great job! Thank you again :love:
 
Member
Hey Beardy,
I am so proud of you. Words cannot express how your story touched me. I'm sure you know how blessed you are to have that friend that stuck by you. You cry anytime you feel like crying... God understands what each tear means... He will comfort you... Hold your head high and never blame yourself for anything... I will always remember you in my prayers... Have a blessed life.
A friend in Christ,
trish1
 
Member
Wow

ok i'm not replying All tt well ATM. i got to about the first Paragraph like i get scared of lots of words.. LOL SLOW reader.. but so far all i say is..

WOW!!!

Love simon!!!

P:S; that is so. Sad btu good on ya for keeping it real and gettign thru it with God's help. i be Praying for ya for the sak of praying for some one i mean i got the time,... LOL

Love Simon!!!
 
Member
Thank You

thank you all for reading it, and what I put could only scratch the surface. I feel that no matter what the human spitit is strong enough to do anything.
what I wrote was hard.

I know that my past is bringing alot of things into my life i don't want and last night i went out with that friend who was with me at court and I for the first time told anyone about the first two incidents. the worse part was i felt even more alone i thought it would help, but i understand why she wwasn'table to help more. ALL I WANT AND HAVE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE HUGGED AND REASSURED THAT IT WASNT MY FAULT. now I made a mess of things in that friendship because i did want to let her go because i don't feel alone and i know im cared about. Just got to deal with one thing at a time.
 
Registered Member
Jesus is Lord!

Beardy:

You are precious. The Lord knows your heart, dear. I would hold you if I could. Please understand that the sexual abuse was not your fault.

When I was your age, I was a runaway, homeless and scared. I met my husband while a runaway. We married one day following my 17th birthday. I married him to get away from my family (incest).

Have you read the "Calling all who have been abused" thread under the “Church forum?” You could be a real blessing to others. It takes a great deal of courage to report a sexual abuse incident, and then follow through with the trial.

I am proud of you.




Beardy said:
thank you all for reading it, and what I put could only scratch the surface. I feel that no matter what the human spitit is strong enough to do anything.
what I wrote was hard.

I know that my past is bringing alot of things into my life i don't want and last night i went out with that friend who was with me at court and I for the first time told anyone about the first two incidents. the worse part was i felt even more alone i thought it would help, but i understand why she wwasn'table to help more. ALL I WANT AND HAVE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE HUGGED AND REASSURED THAT IT WASNT MY FAULT. now I made a mess of things in that friendship because i did want to let her go because i don't feel alone and i know im cared about. Just got to deal with one thing at a time.
 
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Member
I am happy to hear that your life is alot better now.. You are a very strong young lady, God is our strength and our answers to everything, and how I wish that all young girls like yourself have the courage and strength and to trust in GOD with what they have faced in life. Unfortunately Satan has away of distroying lives and robs children of there chilhood. I have a stepdaughter that has been through alot as well and she has major problems, she dont trust no one, she lies all the time, steals and I can go on.. You cant trust her at all.. She is currently in Juvenille hall for stealing, she is only 16.. I worry so much for her my husband and I have been the only positive people around her and it is so hard to deal with her with her problems.. I pray for her always, she does like church but her heart is not in it.. Please keep her in your prayers. It's a relief to hear that you making it through because you gave God a chance to help you and that is great always stay with him.. Keep your faith.. And I am very happy that you are making through the things that happend to you .

God Bless you

Jelwz
 
Member

Mmj

I am sorry you went through that. God will comfort and protect all his children. Its wonderful to know that you are doing better. God Bless you
 

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