My name is Megan and I have been raised apostolic pentecostal since I was 11. I left the church for a few years as a teenager and early adult but went back when my kids were very young. My husband was never raised in this religion or any other religion. He considers himself agnostic, so when I went back to church, he was not happy, but allowed me to raise the kids in this religion. My mother lived, breathed and died in this religion and until recently I tried to follow in her foot steps as a 2nd generation apostolic pentecostal for the last 17 years. My kids were 3rd generation. I was so proud of that. My kids were very involved in church as well as I.
Our church voted in a new pastor about 2 years ago now and the longer he continued to lead the church, the more he kept speaking about striving to be perfect. Each message would get even more strict about all the things we shouldn't do because God is holy and if we do those things, we are not holy and if we don't follow to a tee, we will not make it to Heaven. This started to weigh on me heavily and I thought what was the point of even trying anymore because I can't possibly be perfect. Around the same time I was feeling this way, my son, age 17, dropped a bomb on me by telling me he did not believe in the Acts 2:38 message or oneness message. I was devastated. My daughter and her husband started telling me they did not believe either and had studied out the gospel and now fully believe apostolic pentecostals have it wrong. I felt like my life had been turned upside down. Everything I ever tried to instill in my kids was gone. I encouraged my son to speak with our pastor, thinking it would help him to gain an understanding of what the "truth" was. I guess I thought that the pastor would guide him and help him. Well, after my son spoke with the pastor one night, he came home and was a mess. He told me the pastor did not try to talk with him, but just told him he was wrong and threw a bunch of scriptures at him. This made my son feel horrible and made him shut down to our pastor. After that point, our pastor started to call him out over the pulpit. He never said his name, but would always put little jabs toward my son into his message. I was devastated. I started to really pray and study to find out for myself what my kids were talking about. It has been a few months and I have left the church as well as my kids and we are trying to find a new, non apostolic pentecostal church to attend. I still struggle with everything because this has been my life. It's all I've ever known. I haven't talked to anyone about how I feel except my kids. I still love all of my old church family and really feel for them. I also feel very betrayed that I was falsely led astray for so long. I feel like I live a double life. I still look like an Apostolic pentecostal, but I do not agree with it.
I feel almost embarrassed to tell anyone because I defended this religion for so long against so many people. I cry almost daily because I have so many emotions over all of this.
Our church voted in a new pastor about 2 years ago now and the longer he continued to lead the church, the more he kept speaking about striving to be perfect. Each message would get even more strict about all the things we shouldn't do because God is holy and if we do those things, we are not holy and if we don't follow to a tee, we will not make it to Heaven. This started to weigh on me heavily and I thought what was the point of even trying anymore because I can't possibly be perfect. Around the same time I was feeling this way, my son, age 17, dropped a bomb on me by telling me he did not believe in the Acts 2:38 message or oneness message. I was devastated. My daughter and her husband started telling me they did not believe either and had studied out the gospel and now fully believe apostolic pentecostals have it wrong. I felt like my life had been turned upside down. Everything I ever tried to instill in my kids was gone. I encouraged my son to speak with our pastor, thinking it would help him to gain an understanding of what the "truth" was. I guess I thought that the pastor would guide him and help him. Well, after my son spoke with the pastor one night, he came home and was a mess. He told me the pastor did not try to talk with him, but just told him he was wrong and threw a bunch of scriptures at him. This made my son feel horrible and made him shut down to our pastor. After that point, our pastor started to call him out over the pulpit. He never said his name, but would always put little jabs toward my son into his message. I was devastated. I started to really pray and study to find out for myself what my kids were talking about. It has been a few months and I have left the church as well as my kids and we are trying to find a new, non apostolic pentecostal church to attend. I still struggle with everything because this has been my life. It's all I've ever known. I haven't talked to anyone about how I feel except my kids. I still love all of my old church family and really feel for them. I also feel very betrayed that I was falsely led astray for so long. I feel like I live a double life. I still look like an Apostolic pentecostal, but I do not agree with it.
I feel almost embarrassed to tell anyone because I defended this religion for so long against so many people. I cry almost daily because I have so many emotions over all of this.
Those who think so, as the preacher you mentioned might do well to reread Matthew 23 and ponder upon it and other Scripture as well. Sadly, your son was thirsty, and this man gave him the law to feed upon, in which though perfect, does not provide what only God's Grace through Jesus Christ can, and that is Hope in His Love!
