Jason

[learning2love]

You said you loved me
But then you seemed to change
You became angry easily
Over stupid little things.


I wanted to please you,
Tried to make you happy
And do what you wanted
But it was never good enough.


You'd grab me, pinning me
Against the wall. I was scared.
You made me have sex
Even when I had said no.


I wanted a baby but
Didn't feel worthy.
When I learned I was pregnant,
I was afraid for us both.


If you learned the truth,
Would you leave us like
The last guy, or would you
Hurt me and my baby more?


If I had my baby, would you
Throw her against the wall too?
Would you become more angry
And take it out on me?


I was afraid and alone with
No one to talk to.
I was afraid for my baby
And didn't see an alternative.


I hated myself for what
I was considering.
But I thought it was all I
Could do to protect her.


After it was over, I grew
More angry towards you.
I hated you, but
Hated myself even more.


I should have left you
Then I would have had
My baby. Instead theres
An ache in my heart.