Lucky Lady
Member
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2007
- Messages
- 24
I was bitter with God!
Though i was a young girl,as soon as i learn't about salvation ,i started praying for my Father,whom i doted on to get saved.I said if there is heaven,then i want to be with my father there.Mind you i had a mother but the only person i wanted to be in heaven with was my father.I loved him too much, in fact i think i worshiped him. I prayed for him earnestly,and even urged him to get saved,but he would laugh it off as childish zeal or just agree with me, but he never acknowledged that he got saved.
Then suddenly he died.
To say i was bitter with God ,is an under estimation,I was devastated shocked, angry and all.
I could not believe he had let my father die before getting saved,then i said to myself, "if my father is in hell ,then that is where i wanna be " And i did everything possible to make sure that i will end up there(thank God he didn't kill me then).
My life was a mess, nothing came easy for me,it was a life of struggling,i never appreciated nor enjoyed anything i had.I was as miserable as one could be.I married young,to fill the gap left by my father,but of course,it didn't work.I kept on holding on to my grief for more than fifteen years,though it did me no good.
Holding on too much to grief can cause one to be possessed by a grieving spirit as i came to realize thru reading the book Christian set yourself free by Paul and Sherill Graham(hope the spelling is right)
I came to realize i was carrying this spirit everywhere i went ,in my marriage, my work etc and therefore life had no flavor.
Finally i surrendered to the Lord and said,"I do not know why you had to take my father so early in life but,i have realized i cannot do without you in my life." Gradually, my life started changing,the bitterness took longer to leave,but it eventually left after i asked God to forgive me for being bitter with him.
God cannot talk to us while we are still holding grudges against him,it is when we yield to him that he comes to us.Eventually,i got the answers to the greatest puzzle of my life.God showed me that he is the one who had put that burden for my father in my heart and the reason was because he was about to call him home.He loved him so much he didn't want him to die unsaved (and i thought i loved my father more than God did).
Look,God kept from talking to Abraham until Lot left,He talked to Isaiah after Uzziah Died.My Lot and Uzziah were prolonged grief and bitterness.
I later got to learn thru my mother that my father got saved on his death bed,we had talked with my mother about my father's death b4 but somehow she had never mentioned this.
With this i realized that,even if i had gone to hell i would never have met my Dad there,the devil was deceiving me so that i end up in hell alone.
Am a happy woman now i have learnt to thank God in ALL things
It doesn't pay to fight God,and all that God does is good! He is good all the times.
The devil is a liar!
Deuteronomy 29:29: there are secrets that God has not revealed to us ,but these words he has revealed to us are for us and our children to obey
Though i was a young girl,as soon as i learn't about salvation ,i started praying for my Father,whom i doted on to get saved.I said if there is heaven,then i want to be with my father there.Mind you i had a mother but the only person i wanted to be in heaven with was my father.I loved him too much, in fact i think i worshiped him. I prayed for him earnestly,and even urged him to get saved,but he would laugh it off as childish zeal or just agree with me, but he never acknowledged that he got saved.
Then suddenly he died.
To say i was bitter with God ,is an under estimation,I was devastated shocked, angry and all.
I could not believe he had let my father die before getting saved,then i said to myself, "if my father is in hell ,then that is where i wanna be " And i did everything possible to make sure that i will end up there(thank God he didn't kill me then).
My life was a mess, nothing came easy for me,it was a life of struggling,i never appreciated nor enjoyed anything i had.I was as miserable as one could be.I married young,to fill the gap left by my father,but of course,it didn't work.I kept on holding on to my grief for more than fifteen years,though it did me no good.
Holding on too much to grief can cause one to be possessed by a grieving spirit as i came to realize thru reading the book Christian set yourself free by Paul and Sherill Graham(hope the spelling is right)
I came to realize i was carrying this spirit everywhere i went ,in my marriage, my work etc and therefore life had no flavor.
Finally i surrendered to the Lord and said,"I do not know why you had to take my father so early in life but,i have realized i cannot do without you in my life." Gradually, my life started changing,the bitterness took longer to leave,but it eventually left after i asked God to forgive me for being bitter with him.
God cannot talk to us while we are still holding grudges against him,it is when we yield to him that he comes to us.Eventually,i got the answers to the greatest puzzle of my life.God showed me that he is the one who had put that burden for my father in my heart and the reason was because he was about to call him home.He loved him so much he didn't want him to die unsaved (and i thought i loved my father more than God did).
Look,God kept from talking to Abraham until Lot left,He talked to Isaiah after Uzziah Died.My Lot and Uzziah were prolonged grief and bitterness.
I later got to learn thru my mother that my father got saved on his death bed,we had talked with my mother about my father's death b4 but somehow she had never mentioned this.
With this i realized that,even if i had gone to hell i would never have met my Dad there,the devil was deceiving me so that i end up in hell alone.
Am a happy woman now i have learnt to thank God in ALL things
It doesn't pay to fight God,and all that God does is good! He is good all the times.
The devil is a liar!
Deuteronomy 29:29: there are secrets that God has not revealed to us ,but these words he has revealed to us are for us and our children to obey
:rainbow: :rose:
