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in the distance i see

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As a pilgrim I stood, silent in the night
Alone on my journey, confused by my plight
In the distance I saw, amongst mountains of green
A vague distant shadow. Its shape hard to explain.
From deep within, from within my soul
I knew I must follow the path I was on.
The path before me was unsheltered and course
With fear and hesitation, I began to walk.

I passed many upon this quest of mine
All whom I saw, questioned me…why?
Why had I left behind loved ones and friends?
Why was I walking through trudge lands and fields?
The answers I gave were simple and true
Yet they failed to grasp, or accept my views
So instead I looked heavenwards and pointed way up high
Some followed my gaze, and searched the sky
They looked up to that hillside, they followed my gaze
Then carried on walking, oblivious to my pain.

Days become mingled, time became void
Months turned to years and often I fell.
At times I wondered if my plight was in vain
I questioned my motives and was filled with such pain
Yet for each trial and hardship I had to endure
A deeper inner peace grew within my soul
Always in certainty I knew without doubt
I had to keep moving without turning back

When besieged by troubles, anxieties and doubts
I knew what to do, how to dispel the hurt
My eyes would look up, often bleary and tired
For out of the mists once again I would see
That fortress up high, drawing closer to me
That sanctuary I sought, that place so afar
It drove my existence and encouraged my heart.

Finally I arrived at the hillsides base
I knew at once. To retreat would make sense.
Danger and treachery from the unseen path
Stones and boulders traps and snares,
Hedgerows of brambles, thistles and thorns.
I stumbled, faltered, afraid, and alone
Yet somehow inside I felt encouraged and loved
Each faltering step had a new purpose.


Inspired with hope, I continued afresh
Eventually I made it, completed my climb
Exhausted and aching unable to breathe.
I caught my breath, prepared for what I might see.
Instead I slipped one final time
It was then that I saw, coming out from the ground
The base of a cross, old, battered, worn down

I fell on my knees and lowered my head
Lord I cried, what have I done?
“My child” he answered, “you have done as I asked
You forsake all behind you
You followed your heart
This cross here before you, this one you have borne
I have taken it from you, it is yours no more

But Lord I answered, how come no-one else saw?
My child he replied, did they look with their soul.
Your journey here has been your journey of life
Your desire to serve me, has led you right here.

But Lord I answered, I am so confused
Where has the “fort“gone, I so earnestly seeked?
What happens now? What path do I take?
Should I shoulder this cross, pick it up once again?
No my child, God answered and smiled,
As he did so his arms stretched open and wide
He gently reached down, cupped my face in his hands
Then his words that he spoke, brought tears to my eyes
“ look beyond the cross, my child, came take my hand
What you saw was your home, come, enter MY land.”

As I dared to look beyond the cross
It was then that I realised, God had called me home
The shapes I had followed, the trials I had met
God had guided me here, each step of the way
Not only that
He had journeyed with me
And shown me the joy, a pilgrims life can lead.
 

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