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I'm scared of my future

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by conor, Jul 28, 2016.

  1. First and foremost, I suck at this might be awkward to read, sorry.

    Hi, my name is conor, I'm terrified of what my future holds for me. I'm 19, I live at home with my single mom and little sister. I have no job, car, drivers license, and I'm not in school. I'm in an interracial relationship with the girl of my dreams. (I have had sex before marriage, I'm not that strong a man.)

    Anyway, I don't know what my future holds for me an it truly scares me. I want to provide for a wife and children, I want a job where I'm happy, I want my name to be known, i want to love myself and my life again; I haven't for quite some time. I don't want to fade away into obscurity, I don't want to be another grunt at a 9 to 5 office job where I sit in a cubicle and type away at some screen while I think about how much I hate my life.

    I know the time to act like a child is gone, but im scared that if I let it go I'll never be the same. I'm not the most religious person out there, so I don't really see God involving himself in my life too much. The world is an ugly place, and I'm scared it will tear me apart. I haven't told anyone else this concern, I don't want to appear weak.

    My mom is kicking me out at the end of the year and I'm not ready to be on my own in this world yet. I don't want to lose myself among the masses. I need help, advice, insight, anything. Please help me, I don't know what to do right now.

    P.S. I messed up my sleep schedule so bad, it's 4:15 am at the time I'm finishing this. So my days and nights are severely messed up. Just another problem, pile keeps on getting bigger.

    Thank you for listening, I look forward to reading your responses.
    Sent from a mobile device
  2. You are in for some tough times. There is little we can do for you here. We cannot give courage, jobs, apartments, or even faith. We can point you in the direction of someone who can help you, that being God, but you basically said you just don't see yourself being all that close to Him. Joining in what is coined the "rat race" will by itself help you empathize with us other grunts who do what we must to provide for ourselves and those we love. That action of doing what you don't want to do for the sake of betterment of yourself and others is called courage. Stop worrying about looking weak, you are weak just like the rest of us, accept your faults, but learn to overcome them. Not being afraid isn't being courageous, being courageous is taking action you may be afraid to do, but do anyway.
    Christ4Ever likes this.
  3. I endure and survive this world and it's affairs because God is for me and not against me. However, I had to do something. I had to lay my poor, pathetic, miserable self down and ask Jesus to come into my heart. Teach me the Way, the Truth and the Life, my Lord. And He did.

    He provides my needs, through a my little window washing business. Yep a whopping $545 a month. I am very thankful for it and praise God for it. Amen
    Cast your cares (or concerns) upon the Lord; He will meet you there.

    Everything in this world is temporary; best to seek your treasures in heaven, cause where your treasure is your heart will be there also.

    If your heart is in the world and the things in it (your relationship for instances) you are heading for disappoint, after disappoint; for it is temporary as well. Why? Because you have no solid foundation to stand upon; sex is not love. How can you or "the love of your life" stand strong when bad things come; having never have known true Love at all? Jesus! I speak in the name of Jesus.

    All praise glory and honor be unto God Amen
    Sent from a mobile device
    Jasmine likes this.
  4. The Lord Jesus tells us to "take no thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow shall take thought for the things of itself: sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof"> which is to say> Let today's own troubles be sufficient for today. Also Christ tells us that "in the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer: I have overcome the world". All that remains is that we shall trust Him, or we shall trust Him not.
  5. You need to get to the point in your life that you freely, without hesitation do something similar to Romans 10:8-13
  6. Rev 3:19-22, Please read this brother,for today you have got to the door which is knocking upon it! But you must choose! I cannot do that for you! This does not mean that life becomes better for you,but being in the race sure now does mean you are not alone! And God will help you if you learn how to follow,since taking the lead in your life, like I did at 19 sure did not lead to anything except falling in one pit to another. Jesus brings you out of a pit,and you land somewhere safe!!( Psalm 40:1-3) All you have to do, is open the door which is knocking, and choose him over yourself. When I did this task,I learned through our Jesus,that like the Prodigal son ( Luke 15:11-32) I did not have to go without any longer! So shall you, IF!!! you choose to follow, so that Holy Spirit can teach you how to become a fisher of men! We are for you here brother,so I ask you to strongly consider these words of kindness.If I can encourage you any further,please write me,and I will answer.But make no mistake,time is something we do not have!( Rom 13:11-14) Today is the day, so we never get to this point in our life good brother! ( Luke 12:19-20) The fear of the Lord is only the beginning of wisdom brother,what we learn through our Jesus is the LOVE is the end of that learning!!( 1 John 4:11-19!! Blessing bro!
    Christ4Ever likes this.
  7. In the Lord it must begin at the bottom and when you are lifted up it will not be you lifting yourself up by your own bootstraps, but... let God do the lifting:

    "When thou art bidden of any man to a wedding, sit not down in the highest room; lest a more honourable man than thou be bidden of him;

    And he that bade thee and him come and say to thee, Give this man place; and thou begin with shame to take the lowest room.

    But when thou art bidden, go and sit down in the lowest room; that when he that bade thee cometh, he may say unto thee, Friend, go up higher: then shalt thou have worship in the presence of them that sit at meat with thee.

    For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted." Luke 4:8-11
  8. Well my new friend, welcome to our little family here at "Talk Jesus. I'm a Christian Psychologist and retired Baptist Pastor. I have a few suggestions for you, in hopes that you'll follow them....

    First of all, the folks that have already responded to your thread, have given you some great advise. If you are serious about a life change that will put you into the best position to reach what is the desire of your heart right now, and for the future is, you must have a spiritual birth thru Jesus Christ.

    There is a true story about a Jewish leader who came to Jesus, and wanted to know about God and His future Kingdom. The story is in the Bible, the book of John....

    John 3:3 Jesus answered him, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."
    3:4 Nicodemus said to him, "How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?"
    3:5 Jesus answered, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.
    3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

    I hope that this doesn't confuse you, I just wanted you to see that there are two births that everyone needs at some point in their lives in order to have a successful life. My very good friend "Born Again 2004" on post #5 gave some info in how to become born again spiritually. If you need help with this, I'll be glad to help you.

    If you want to escape your "dead end" life, Jesus is the way to obtain what you're looking for, no where else can it be found.

    For now, I'll stop right here. If you're not willing to turn your life over to our Lord Jesus Christ, there's not much that I can help you with. Jesus is the answer. Having all your sins forgiven, and God as your heavenly Father, your life will definitely change for the better....I'll be waiting for your answer Conor.
    Christ4Ever likes this.
  9. Brother, in order to keep different items separate, note I labeled each item individually 1-4; please note that I do so in order to keep each thing in context and focused specifically on individual principles; rather than just throw everything together in a jumbled mess of "counsel."

    Item 1) Of course you are terrified of what the future holds; welcome to any life without Jesus as the focal point! I was there once brother, and in all honesty; I have moments of regression where I forget to "keep my eyes on the prize," and find that "Goliath," does seem pretty scary.

    Rag4 makes a great allusion here to your perspective and foundation; which is to what I refer. We are told in:
    2 Corinthians 4:16-18(NASB)

    "16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
    The reason Paul had this perspective was because he was not focusing on his surroundings, sufferings, and trials; but on the heavenly destiny which awaited him, due to what Christ did on the cross. Without Christ there is no freedom, no success, no life, no love; just as Solomon proclaimed "It is all but vanity entirely!" So I would advise step one being to dedicate your heart and life to Christ in complete sincerity and without restraint.

    Item 2). Brother, strength is not reflected only in ability to resist. True strength is revealed in the character of a person who is willing to accept and admit faults and weaknesses; willing to endure the judgment of others in a desire to be accountable; and being willing to turn away from those contrary actions. The Pharisee on the temple porch, (Luke 18:9-14) boasted in the "strength," of his faithfulness and works, while the sinner lamented the weakness of his nature; and it was the sinner who walked away justified. Strength may be employed to the resistance of temptation but it is not the act of strength that matters-it is the originating source.

    Item 3)." I'm not the most religious person out there, so I don't really see God involving himself in my life too much." I felt it prudent to re-post the exact quote here for illustrative purpose; look again at what it says and tell me you can not see both cause and effect here? Of course you don't see much of God's involvement in your life brother; you aren't even letting Him in! Ever heard the phrase, "The power to believe is the power to achieve?" Well this concept applies. if you want to see God more clearly in your life, it behooves you to take the actions that would bring about this result. That means: A) Accepting Christ B) Believe that God is willing to move in your life. C) Praying for God to move in your life D) Study and meditate daily in order to see exactly how God would move in your life. No need to be "religious," per se; but you could be intentional about how much you invest in your walk with God in Christ eh?

    Item 4). LMTO...Ha ha! Brother welcome to adulthood; I am 35 and I'm not sure I'm ready to be on my own in this world! Ready or not man, there is a point when we simply have to step "out of the boat," and brave the waves just like Peter did in Matthew 14:22-36. I have been stranded homeless in Phoenix, AZ; New Orleans, LA; Los Angeles, CA; St. Louis, MO; Chicago, IL...among other places; with no friends, family, money, job or even ID to feasibly get work. Trust that I know well the fears and isolation that life can bring even when completely surrounded by others. Read Judges ch. 7 brother, the story of Gideon's army. Those who stayed to fight were not free from fear; they simply chose to continue on in spite of it. 300 Israelites versus 30,000 plus Midianites; and Israel was armed only with trumpets and lanterns.....LOL! You don't think those guys felt a twinge of fear or doubt?? Of course they did! They just made the decision to continue on in spite of fear and be obedient to God. It is said that courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to persevere in spite of it; and continue forward."

    I pray that Father will grant you clarity in these matters. God Bless Brother!
  10. If we will revolve our life around Him, the very being of who we are; He will revolve around our life and become our very being.
    Hence, in order for Him to increase, I must decrease.
    He is a gentlemen, and waits to be invited to come inside.
    Sent from a mobile device
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