I told my parent the truth about my virginity

[HisChild07]

I'm 20 years old, and earlier this week, I told my mom the truth about me not being a virgin. This week has been the worst week of my life. I have not eaten in 2 days. I have not been able to sleep either.
I felt so compelled to tell her the truth. I keep asking God over and over again for forgiveness of my past, but I didn't feel forgiven. I kept hearing a voice in my head tell me that I needed to seek forgiveness from the person who's trust I had broken. So i told my mom. I didn't want her to think that I was someone I'm not.

This is the saddest Ive ever seen my mom....EVER. Ive been called every name in the book, she's constantly crying, she feels as if she's failed. I thought telling her would mean..things would be sour and sad for a few weeks, then everything would go back to normal. I wouldn't mind loosing her trust until I could prove that I was now trustworthy. Loosing her trust felt like a MUCH lighter punishment than my conscience eating me alive.

I now realize that I was wrong. I feel depressed, I feel ill, I regret telling her even more than I regret my past sins.
Its finally hitting home, that nothing will ever be the same...ever (I was told that by two friends...who are also parents- that found out the same thing of their daughters). The both of them had two things in common:
1. They felt as if telling my mom was the biggest mistake of my life, and that i broke her heart, and that sometimes, certain pieces of info should be kept to oneself, because now our relationship would never be the same.
2. They are unbelievers.

I felt as if the Holy Spirit was compelling me to tell the truth...even after the fact...even if the info wouldn't mean anything now because what happened was in the past.
Now I feel as if God is angered. I had no right to verbally-rip my mom to shreds. (The lightning and thunder all last night didn't help either)

I am confused. I am so confused. I am not suicidal, however, I feel as if I dont deserve to be alive. I have this lump in my throat and this weight in my chest. My stomach is growling, but I am not hungry. I cant stop crying. I know that this too shall pass, but then what?

Please help me pray.
God Bless

 

[Boanerges]

The truth is good, your mom will settle down. You can recommit to being a virgin until marriage. It seems rough now but wait at the feet of the Lord, seek His face, receive His healing and trust Him to bring something good out of this situation, you will not be disappointed.
You are in my prayers my friend.

 

[moxiemom]

Respectfully...

I am sorry your mom is having such a hard time with your honesty. Of course your mother has every right to be disappointed and upset but not to call you "every name in the book" and be upset for days. From what you've written, it sounds to me like you and your mom may be struggling with legalism. You may also possibly have unhealthy aspects in your relationship. You are an adult and seeking your mother's approval and forgiveness is not necessary at your age may not be a healthy choice. I commend you for wanting an honest relationship with her. However, look at what the Bible says about how we are to handle forgiveness and restoration. "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself." Galatians 6:1-3 How did the father of the Parodical son react when his child finally came home? He threw a party! Also, the Bible says "you who are without sin cast the first stone." Is your mother without any sin? Is loosing your virginity a bigger sin than any other sin in her life or yours? I am not trying to be sarcastic just trying to show a different line of thought.

Your struggle should be laid at the foot of the cross. It is Jesus who forgives our trespasses. If you have asked Jesus into your heart and accepted his full mercy and grace because of your faith that He is the Son of God and died on the cross for all of our sins then you should not be living under oppression and feelings of guilt--that is trying to live under the law and Christ's death on the cross freed us from that burden. In Matthew 11:27-30 Jesus says, “All things have been handed over to Me by My Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father; nor does anyone know the Father except the Son, and anyone to whom the Son wills to reveal Him. Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." As you can see from that scripture, I believe your feelings of guilt are not from our Lord.

The Bible also says: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, for your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39

You might try reading the book "Boundaries" by Cloud & Townsend. It discusses healthy relationships. They are Christian counselors and authors. They also have a website you could google. I am sorry you are struggling with this. Just remember that you are a child of the King and He adores you. His whole reason for creating you was to have a loving relationship with you. He loves you no matter what and no one and nothing can separate you from that. He sent His only Son to die on the cross for any and all sins so He could have a loving relationship with you. Maybe understanding His grace and mercy can free you from the bondage of the law and any unhealthy aspect that might exist in your relationship with your mom.

With love & prayers!

 

[Fragrant Grace]

And Jesus said unto her ''Neither do I condemn thee go and sin no more"
John 8:11



Dear sister HisChild07

It is wonderful to know that as your screen name states you are His Child. And our Father in heaven loves you so much, even though you may have transgressed.....and His arms are always wide open to welcome and forgive.

As Christians we all often struggle to forgive ourselves and easily sink into feelings of despair and self condemnation....especially when those close to us find it hard to forgive. However, consider the stedfast promises in His word

If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness......
1 John 1:9

Commit your feelings, struggles and sadness to the Lord and allow His love and peace to flood your heart....Rejoice in the knowledge that His forgiveness is complete....no matter what those around you may be saying.

Your dear mother is also hurting and needs committing lovingly to the Lord that she may find comfort and be able to forgive.

Continuing in prayer for you and your mother......knowing that the beautiful love of Jesus is a precious healing balm for wounded and hurting hearts.

The Lord bless you

Julia

Now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling and present you fautless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen
Jude verses 24-25