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I Need Some Help & Counsel! Please!

Member
:unlove: Last Tuesday, I went for a bike ride with my husband. I was standing up right, trying to get up some speed to get up the hill up a head? In the process my foot slipped of the peddle & I went for a fast & hard landing! I was ok, except I manage to skin my right knee & the left side of my upper face, {above my eye brow & under my bottom eye lid} And I mean skinned along with the big knot {bump} that went with it. I thought for sure I was heading for a serious concussion. But the Doctor said I will be fine, and I am. Except for the major black eye I received from it!
Well, here's where the trouble starts! I called my Dad yesterday, basically to say, Hi & to ask him how he was doing? I had mentioned to him that I had made a pumpkin pie! So, kidding he says "were's mine" I kidding said he would have to come on over to get it. 'Not thinking he would take me up on it' and he didn't say he was going to either. I had also mention the fact that I maybe coming down with the flue, also hoping that would also keep him away. And it's not a lie because I still feel that way.
Anyways, hours later the door bell rings. My husband wont let me go to the door, he doesn't want no-one to see my eye. At first he doesn't know who it is, and then he comes back & tells me he thinks it's my Dad. But still my husband wont let me let him in & he wont let him in neither! So, my poor Dad, is out side ringing the door bell not understanding why we wont let him in. Finally he goes across the street to a bar, where he can use the phone. My Dad calls me, asking why we wont let him in. He's asking me why I wont let him in & why was the light shut off when he already seen them on. {My husband had turned them off}
Then the very next day my Dad called again - demanding again, why I would not let him in. My husband still would not let me talk with my Dad to explain why. My husband did not want him to see my black eye. He does not trust my Dad to believe the truth & is afraid he will spread lies.
I try explaining to my husband that hiding the truth will only make it look more like a lie!
But he doesn't care, he says. My Dad made him angry when my Dad used the 4 letter {F} word. Saying my Dad was showing me disrespect - but nonetheless - the way I look at it we were disrespecting my Dad first! But my husband says that I have to do as he says - because he is my husband & head of this house hold! Please, help I am feeling so bad about this & I am worried about my Dad's feelings as I also care about my husbands feelings! REMEMBER! This would not had happened if I hadn't {by mistake} asked my Dad over!
 
Member
Whew! That is a tough one. The husband IS to be the head of the house, but I think it was rude for him to not let you speak to your dad. Especially after you had practically invited him over. You should tell your dad about the bike accident & let him know that your husband didn't want people to see you like that.
And if he felt your dad was being rude with his language (and I agree with that), he should tell him so, not just refuse to open the door.
Kate
 
Member
I pray for a quick clean-up

oh get real!!! WWJD = What would Jesus do :love: Jonah: Jesus is the truth and he is there to help you reveal truth . . .im sorry . . .but your husband is not head-of-the-household here. . .more boss-of-the-household. . .think straight how scared and shocked your dad must be right now. . .thinkin 1000 of thoughts why you didnt open the door!

And for the fact what he would have been thinkin. . .now he is thinkin that for sure!

My husband shut the door to my parents one time! Only one time!
We had the biggest fight . . .yes your married to your husband and be one flesh with him .. .but you know. . he didnt buy you! He doesnt own you! How can you let him do that to you and your dad? Jesus bought you with His precious blood . . .wont you get it right with him today? Everything else will fall in place :love:

Where is your mom?

And on top of all . . .dont even start blaming yourself :love:

Im sorry to say it so harsh: But you have to fix this mess yourself :love:

and you know what: You will be fine. . .it wont be worse then what you just experienced in your heart the last couple of days :love:

please follow your heart :love:

I will pray that God strenghtens you to stand up for the truth: And the truth only!

The truth will convince your dad and calm him down :love:


Matthew 19:26

26Jesus looked at them and said,

"With man this is impossible,

but with God all things are possible."



Philippians 4:13

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.



*please pm me if i was too hard on you . . .i didnt mean to hurt your feelings :love:

Please keep us updated, I will pray for you :love:
 
Member
All I can say is the truth would set you free.

Sometimes the truth is hard, but right now the lie (cover up) has cause more trouble than it is worth.

Your sister in Christ,
AlabasterBox :girl:

:rainbow:
 
Member
Trusting in the Truth is the KEY.

You should work it out with your husband first buy agreeing on the Truth being the only real answer to all problems. All the truth stated in your post here should be shared with both of them. Are both your husband and Dad believers in JESUS, if so it shouldn't be that hard to convince them to accept the truth and than deal with it in love and understanding for one another. Your Dad should understand your husbands feelings about un healthy language and your husband should understand that love removes barriers and doesn't promote them.


What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops. Matthew 10:27



Jonah2005 said:
:unlove: Last Tuesday, I went for a bike ride with my husband. I was standing up right, trying to get up some speed to get up the hill up a head? In the process my foot slipped of the peddle & I went for a fast & hard landing! I was ok, except I manage to skin my right knee & the left side of my upper face, {above my eye brow & under my bottom eye lid} And I mean skinned along with the big knot {bump} that went with it. I thought for sure I was heading for a serious concussion. But the Doctor said I will be fine, and I am. Except for the major black eye I received from it!
Well, here's where the trouble starts! I called my Dad yesterday, basically to say, Hi & to ask him how he was doing? I had mentioned to him that I had made a pumpkin pie! So, kidding he says "were's mine" I kidding said he would have to come on over to get it. 'Not thinking he would take me up on it' and he didn't say he was going to either. I had also mention the fact that I maybe coming down with the flue, also hoping that would also keep him away. And it's not a lie because I still feel that way.
Anyways, hours later the door bell rings. My husband wont let me go to the door, he doesn't want no-one to see my eye. At first he doesn't know who it is, and then he comes back & tells me he thinks it's my Dad. But still my husband wont let me let him in & he wont let him in neither! So, my poor Dad, is out side ringing the door bell not understanding why we wont let him in. Finally he goes across the street to a bar, where he can use the phone. My Dad calls me, asking why we wont let him in. He's asking me why I wont let him in & why was the light shut off when he already seen them on. {My husband had turned them off}
Then the very next day my Dad called again - demanding again, why I would not let him in. My husband still would not let me talk with my Dad to explain why. My husband did not want him to see my black eye. He does not trust my Dad to believe the truth & is afraid he will spread lies.
I try explaining to my husband that hiding the truth will only make it look more like a lie!
But he doesn't care, he says. My Dad made him angry when my Dad used the 4 letter {F} word. Saying my Dad was showing me disrespect - but nonetheless - the way I look at it we were disrespecting my Dad first! But my husband says that I have to do as he says - because he is my husband & head of this house hold! Please, help I am feeling so bad about this & I am worried about my Dad's feelings as I also care about my husbands feelings! REMEMBER! This would not had happened if I hadn't {by mistake} asked my Dad over!
 
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Member
I thank you all so much for your support!

:love: I thank you all so much for your support! I really was at a loss here! And I Prayed & Prayed & then Prayed some more! - Ever-since Saturday Day Night, when it all happened.
My Dad called again last night, but my husband decided to turn down the message so that we couldn't hear it. I said to him, "my Dad might be apologizing for the language he had used." My husband then said I can play it back in the morning - he said he didn't want to be aggravated by it to night! So of coarse my heart was breaking but my husband didn't understand that enough to take it seriously. Anyways - Morning came - I said a Prayer to The Almighty and then I played back the message my Dad had left. Though he did not apologize, the message was short & sweet. I mention that to my husband - then I asked him could I call him? He said, OK, but think first what you are going to say to him. I said ok. And then left the room to go & Pray. Then I thought about what could I say. I thought & I thought, finely - I went back to GOD in Prayer again asking HIM to direct my thinking - what would be the proper thing to say to my Dad & a message that my husband would except. Then I went back into thought again, finally I thought well why don't I talk it over with my husband. Now The Almighty GOD & The Teachings of Jesus have taught me well. I know that I could not call up my Dad & ask him if he is ready to apologize, when the fault started with me in the first place. I knew I was the one who needed to do the apologizing! So I sat down with my husband this morning. hHe suggested that tell him; "I wasn't feeling well, so I decided not to to the door. " I told my husband that "I couldn't tell my Dad that, even if it were true." I said;- "he's my Dad - and not just anybody!" So my husband asked me; "what did I want to do?" I said; "tell him the truth." My husband would not go for that - not at all! I looked at him & frowned & I said: if you say a prayer to GOD asking him to warm my Dad's heart to believe & understand - HE will do it - if you trust in GOD." He said; "O don't give me that!" I looked at him & said it's true. The same way HE warmed the heart of Pharaoh in the day of Moses, GOD will do the same to my Dad! My husband then just waved me away, I look at him & shrugged my shoulders & walked away. I went to my bedroom & prayed, again. Then soon after I was finished praying, my husband called out to me. He said I could call my Dad back on one condition! If I were to say; "I'm sorry Dad for not letting you in & for not answering the phone." but I was not allow to explain to him why! I thought it over - My Dad is known to 'let bye gones be by gones' So I said ok - figuring it's a start. So once again I went to GOD in prayer, asking HIM; "to warm my Dad's heart, to cause him to understand & to let him know that I am truly sorry, and to comfort him." Then I got up & made the phone call. I said what my husband asked me to say & all went very well. I know GOD was there - I know HE heard my Prayers! Because there is no-way this would have ended as well as it did - if GOD was not there. I truly believe that.
:love:
 
Member
Toklatkate said:
Whew! That is a tough one. The husband IS to be the head of the house, but I think it was rude for him to not let you speak to your dad. Especially after you had practically invited him over. You should tell your dad about the bike accident & let him know that your husband didn't want people to see you like that.
And if he felt your dad was being rude with his language (and I agree with that), he should tell him so, not just refuse to open the door.
Kate
You're apsolutly right, Kate! But my husband is hard head & wont listen to any reasoning but his own. And I wanted to explain it all to my Dad, but my husband just wouldn't let me. But with the help from The Almighty GOD - things turned out ok!
 
Member
You did the right thing, trusting in God to deal with it.

I very happy for all of you that by your faith, you all were saved more bitterness.


Jonah2005 said:
You're apsolutly right, Kate! But my husband is hard head & wont listen to any reasoning but his own. And I wanted to explain it all to my Dad, but my husband just wouldn't let me. But with the help from The Almighty GOD - things turned out ok!
 
Member
peeps said:
oh get real!!! WWJD = What would Jesus do :love: Jonah: Jesus is the truth and he is there to help you reveal truth . . .im sorry . . .but your husband is not head-of-the-household here. . .more boss-of-the-household. . .think straight how scared and shocked your dad must be right now. . .thinkin 1000 of thoughts why you didnt open the door!

And for the fact what he would have been thinkin. . .now he is thinkin that for sure!

My husband shut the door to my parents one time! Only one time!
We had the biggest fight . . .yes your married to your husband and be one flesh with him .. .but you know. . he didnt buy you! He doesnt own you! How can you let him do that to you and your dad? Jesus bought you with His precious blood . . .wont you get it right with him today? Everything else will fall in place :love:

Where is your mom?

And on top of all . . .dont even start blaming yourself :love:

Im sorry to say it so harsh: But you have to fix this mess yourself :love:

and you know what: You will be fine. . .it wont be worse then what you just experienced in your heart the last couple of days :love:

please follow your heart :love:

I will pray that God strenghtens you to stand up for the truth: And the truth only!

The truth will convince your dad and calm him down :love:


Matthew 19:26

26Jesus looked at them and said,

"With man this is impossible,

but with God all things are possible."



Philippians 4:13

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.



*please pm me if i was too hard on you . . .i didnt mean to hurt your feelings :love:

Please keep us updated, I will pray for you :love:

:love: Thank you PEEPS! And you didn't hurt my feelings. You helped me to focus on Jesus & what would He do? Well as I said before, the next morning I called my Dad back. I didn't get to explain what happened & I didn't lie neither. I just apologized. And my Dad except my apology.
I agree with you, my husband is bossy! Very hard headed! And when ever he gets hard headed like that, it's his way or the highway! And every time my husband says he is my husband & head-of-the-household - I just get lost. I want to respect living by GOD'S Word as Jesus said we should.
As it is written;
Ephesians 5:22-24
22. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
{Colossians 3:18 Titus 2:5 1 Peter 3:1, 5-6}

But thank you, so much for your advice & reply! It was good hearing from you!
And like I said before, There's no-way things could have turned out as good as they did in the end with-out the help from The Almighty GOD & Christ Jesus!
Plus your advice is what I needed! Jonah2005 {*genesis!}
 
Member
AlabasterBox said:
All I can say is the truth would set you free.

Sometimes the truth is hard, but right now the lie (cover up) has cause more trouble than it is worth.

Your sister in Christ,
AlabasterBox :girl:

:rainbow:
Thank you, AlabasterBox, for your reply! You are absolutely right! That's one of the reasons why I was so troubled by all of this! But The Almighty GOD & Christ Jesus were listening to my prayers & I did get to apologize! And thank you so much for your reply!
 
Member
I am praying that both these men keep their eyes on Jesus and come to peace :love: and understanding through your patience and love of the Lord.

God bless you,
CaliFlower :rose:
 
Member
Tough Stuff Jonah, so sorry you got hurt

:rose: Jonah, it is true that a wife shall leave her family and become one with her husband, but there is more to this. To become one, you have to be whole yourself or face being just 3/4 of a married couple. Your wholeness and your self is as important to the marriage as your husband's is. He is trusted by God to be the head of the household and care for your well being as half of his wholeness. Don't get me wrong, because I have so much faith in marriage. I just pray that your marriage becomes stronger and whole and that means that you don't carry the burden of guilt, but feel like a successful wife in a marriage union of two. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and your husband and help your husband understand truly what being the head of a marriage is. You should be submissive in trust and not fear. Bless you, because you sound so worried and afraid of hurting anyone, including the Lord. Our Father wants you whole, He loves all of you. He is the head of every household. You are not hurting Jesus by having independent thoughts of right and wrong. In your marriage union, you have treasures of your own to bring to your table. May Jesus smile upon you and may you live a less fearful life and know that the Lord loves you deeply. Amen:pixie :rose:
 
Member
Yeshua said:
You should work it out with your husband first buy agreeing on the Truth being the only real answer to all problems. All the truth stated in your post here should be shared with both of them. Are both your husband and Dad believers in JESUS, if so it shouldn't be that hard to convince them to accept the truth and than deal with it in love and understanding for one another. Your Dad should understand your husbands feelings about un healthy language and your husband should understand that love removes barriers and doesn't promote them.


What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops. Matthew 10:27
Thank you Yeshua! Yes last Sunday morning my husband & I sat down & talk it over. I try to get him to see that The Almighty GOD would be on our side - because it's the truth - I fell off my bike & that is why I ended up with a very bad black eye - almost swollen shut. This is why he did not want my Dad to see it. He really fears that my Dad would have believed that he had hit me! For in the past he was known to be violent. So, I try to get him to see, if he would trust & pray to GOD to warm my Dad's heart & cause him to understand, then GOD would do that! But, he didn't want to hear it! So as I said before, I went into my bed room to prayed for the the both of them & for myself as well. Because I want to be obedient to my husband & I don't want to be disobedient to GOD! And in the end GOD pulled me through! My husband claims he believes in GOD but he still is very much attached to his worldly ways! And as for my Dad he say there is no-way he could to serve The Almighty GOD because he loves his worldly ways to much! But as for me, I want to serve GOD & love HIM & Jesus Christ very much! My brothers say they do too! Thank you so much for your concern & reply - Jonah2005 {*genesis!}
 
Member
califlower said:
I am praying that both these men keep their eyes on Jesus and come to peace :love: and understanding through your patience and love of the Lord.

God bless you,
CaliFlower :rose:
Thank you, CaliFlower! They could use your prayers!
 
Member
pixie said:
:rose: Jonah, it is true that a wife shall leave her family and become one with her husband, but there is more to this. To become one, you have to be whole yourself or face being just 3/4 of a married couple. Your wholeness and your self is as important to the marriage as your husband's is. He is trusted by God to be the head of the household and care for your well being as half of his wholeness. Don't get me wrong, because I have so much faith in marriage. I just pray that your marriage becomes stronger and whole and that means that you don't carry the burden of guilt, but feel like a successful wife in a marriage union of two. May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you and your husband and help your husband understand truly what being the head of a marriage is. You should be submissive in trust and not fear. Bless you, because you sound so worried and afraid of hurting anyone, including the Lord. Our Father wants you whole, He loves all of you. He is the head of every household. You are not hurting Jesus by having independent thoughts of right and wrong. In your marriage union, you have treasures of your own to bring to your table. May Jesus smile upon you and may you live a less fearful life and know that the Lord loves you deeply. Amen:pixie :rose:

:rose: Dear Pixie, Thank you so much, for that beautiful reply. You read me clearly, and I thank you for your prayers. It is my hope that Jesus is happy with me as it is also my hope that I will become Holy as GOD is Holy! To be rapped in HIS Robe of Righteousness! Thank you again, Jonah2005 {*genesis!}
May your walk with The Almighty GOD & Jesus Christ be a Blessed One! :love:
 
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Member
Jonah - I don't know if anybody said this but, you're handling this really well. Keep going with the Holy Spirit in your heart, your eyes on Jesus just the way you're doing, and the Lord will lead you out of any darkness - and perhaps these men will follow you. They seem to realize you are the light, they're both wrong and both stubborn and both afraid; the closer they get to Jesus, through you, the more right, and softer, and less fearful they will be, methinks. *hug* :love:

In Christ, :love:
CaliFlower :rose:
 
Member
well

first i may that God may put a peace into your heart at this troubling time.

the head of the household issue is not somthineg i condoned, i think marriage is more of a partnership thing.

not addressing a situation when it arises allows it to escalate and what was then a molehill has been turned to a moutain. just continue to trust God for your breakthrough. maybe u should go on a pray and fast
love you with the love of God
 

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