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I need some Christian advice

I am not a traditional Christian, but more like a gnostic one.

God and Satan use to talk to me and tell me stuff about what to do, what not to do and good and terribel events that will happen to me in the future.

Usually, I get my advice from God himself, but he won't tell me anything about this. This is why I am trying to get some more secular advice.

The situation is that I just heard about a Christian martyrer named Perpetua who was tortured by the Roman Empire for not sacrificing and conforming to the Roman way of life.
She were about to be executed, but the executioner could not kill her, so she dragged the sword to her own throat and killed herself.

For a very long time I have felt that I need to sacrifice myself for a greater cause. In my situation, I want to stop the persecution of the ill and disabled people in my country.
I am on government welfare because I cannot work due to various mental troubles and according to the law, the local municipality can demand that you get treatment for your disorders if that will improve your ability to work.

I am not against working, but I am strongly against medical treatment that will alter my personality or stop my conversations with God and the seing into another dimension. I do not believe this is caused by an illness, I am 100 % certain that this is the reality.
But I do believe that medication/treatment will alter my personality to such a degree that I will become another person. I don't wish that to happen.

I want to fight against the regime that allows for such horrible conditions for the sick and disabled in my country. I want personal liberty, only limited by God and your conscientiousness.

So back to the question:
Should I kill myself to become a martyrer?

It is a serious question that really bothers me.
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God created you and loves you and Christ paid a great price for you. Don't dishonor His love for you by destroying your body, if you feel strongly about your convictions, then find a way to verbalize it to your government representative's, perhaps get a petition with a lot of signatures and send it to them, that sort of thing.
So back to the question:
Should I kill myself to become a martyrer?

It is a serious question that really bothers me.
in general we don't get answers to things we're not supposed to know, and if you really want the answer, the Lord will test you to see if he can trust you to keep the answer to yourself.

you don't sound depressed, what is going on?
No. Don't let Satan get the victory by doing that. "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

By killing yourself, you would be dishonoring God. God does not go against His word. If you are receiving a message in your mind that contradicts the Bible, it is not of God. I have fought many times with hearing "voices" in my head that were telling me things that went against the Bible, and whenever I listened, something would go wrong. Don't allow yourself to be deceived!

Also, let me ask you a question. When did you become saved? How were you saved?
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1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

Any words you hear that disagree with this are not from God!
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You will be dying for nothing ! Just a wasted tricked life !
Look , what you need to do is acceptb JESUS CHRIST from your heart as LORD and master ! Your just being deceived !

God then wants to use you to help others while here !

satan wants all of us dead and in hell suffering !

God wants us all to have a sound mind and to be a living sacrifice ! Helping others to have satalvation and planeting seeds of truth in others and doing the very same works HE did !

2Ti_1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Rom_8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.

Mic_6:8 He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

Rom 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Rom 10:10 For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

You must accept HIM as LORD from your heart [Spirit ] and be willing to follow Him and obey Him 100% !Only then will your mind be made sound and you will know GOD as FATHEr and Friend ! after all ? He Only wants the very best for each of us ! He LOVES us More than we LOVe ourselves !

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