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I Have a Question

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Alyse Weiss, Oct 28, 2016.

  1. I'm going to get personal on this site.

    I have started dating at the age of 18. At this point in my life I would not have considered myself a Christian. Yes, I knew who Jesus was (is). When I was younger I accepted Christ as my Savior. It was during Sunday school that I learned about Jesus and what He sacrificed for me. I was young and at that age I couldn’t grasp the concept of Christianity. My family fell away from the church for YEARS. Still. I never forgot what I learned. Did I claim to be Christian when anyone asked? No. I wasn’t living the Christ-like lifestyle. God wasn’t someone that I often spoke to or even thought about. So I never considered myself a Christian until I later understood what this meant.

    Later I learned that I was trying to fill my God shaped void with the opposite sex, relationships. During a short span of time I would have considered myself a serial dater. It was always one relationship to the next. Each of my relationships failed because of my decision to remain sexually pure. I have dated both "Christian" men and secular.

    There is always one man who comes back into my life. My ex-boyfriend Michael. We have been in each other’s lives for going on seven years. When we speak . . . we pick up right where we started. In fact, things could be considered better between the two of us. He is NOT a believer, but he seems to be the only man who has ever truly accepted the fact that I would like to wait until marriage.


    Does God always set us up with other believers? I’m not so sure?
     
  2. I'll just say this;

    My sister in law (a Christian) married an unbeliever, around 25 yrs. ago...in the hopes that she could get him converted along the way. They have a beautiful family, they are very wealthy, they get along extremely well as far as a family/couple goes...but he is still unsaved. When she pours out her heart to my wife, she is in utter torment because of his worldly state.

    They have it all...yet they are so distant in this regard. It is so easy to fall for what appears to be a perfect match, only to find yourself living years of pain afterwards. It is much easier to let God lead you in finding the perfect/saved mate, rather than marrying an unbeliever and trying to convert him/her afterwards.

    God Bless you, and my God direct your path. :)
     
    Fragrant Grace and Alyse Weiss like this.
  3. The Bible teaches that we are not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. We should not knowingly marry someone who is not a believer, because there is no fellowship between light and darkness. It will only cause heartache for anyone who marries an unbeliever, because you would be out of the will of God, for one, and because there is no fellowship between a believer and a non-believer. Marriage is hard enough as it is. We shouldn't begin marriage with a serious strike against us, if we can help it. IN all things, we should pray, and we should inquire of God before even dating someone, even if that other person does claim to be a Christian, because not everyone who says "Lord, Lord," really knows Jesus. You want to spend the rest of your life with someone who shares your beliefs, your values, and your goals for living to please God, and to live a holy life. So, ask God to lead you to the right person for you, and don't compromise your faith and convictions ever.
     
    amadeus2 and Alyse Weiss like this.
  4. Thank you for your time and thoughts.

    I suppose I was just thinking about Dave and Joyce Meyer. They knew each other for a couple of weeks? Both of them were unequally yoked. Today, by the grace of God, they run a worldwide ministry. There is another female speaker, Beth. Her husband wasn't interested in going to church. At some point she decided not to push her beliefs onto her husband... Now he goes to church every Sunday.

    I'm not trying to change anyone. Nor do I think that I am spiritually equipped to marry an unbeliever. Still, God works in ways that we don't always understand.
     
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  5. You're sister in law went into the marriage with expectations of changing his beliefs. She felt that SHE was able to change him.

    She needs to stop and think. Pray that God would change her in the mist of her circumstances. She could also pray that God would open her husband's heart, soul, and mind. Also remember that God's timing is not our own. This change in his heart could take 30, 40, maybe 50 years. She has to stop pushing and let her husband seehow God is personally working through her and in her life.
     
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    Waggles likes this.
  6. Maybe this fellow is intimate with others, so less desirous of being so with you, and willing to be just a friend, but hoping to be intimate with you one day, and may well lose interest once he has become intimate with you. Its hard to effectually speculate on his motives. I would just keep him as a friend, and no more... that would be wiser.
     
    Fragrant Grace and Alyse Weiss like this.
  7. The reason I mentioned my sister in law is that I see her situation up close, and I felt I should tell of their situation. She knew what she was up against going in, but young love is a difficult thing to fight against. Dave and Joyce Meyer are a wonderful story. I've heard both their testimonies and they have been through a lot, no doubt. There are always exceptions to the rule. However, all those good out comings still do not negate the scripture of unequal yoke. That being said, when I was young and in love, I may have made the same choice, because at that time I was no where near walking with God like I should have been.
     
    Alyse Weiss likes this.
  8. I really appreciate you sharing her situation with me and it has opened my eyes. I agree that it would be wiser decision to just remain friends with my ex. I would LOVE to have a Spirit filled man in my life. I also believe that he would be worth the wait for me. I too have made poor decisions in the life of dating and I don't want to make those same mistakes again. Has your walk with God gotten better?
     
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  9. You're absolutely right and I agree. Your post was eye opening for me and yes, it would be a wiser decision to remain friends with this individual, thank you. I just have to wait for the right person and keep faith. If this is God's will for me.
     
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    Brad Huber likes this.
  10. Probably the same as with most Christians, regarding the walk - it has been up & down... But we all know "who moved", lol. Right now I am on fire with my walk, and I fully intend to stay that way. Recent life changes and an opening of my eyes to the Lord in which I never experienced before.

    The real tough part in a relationship like you are experiencing...is still seeing the person. Sometimes it must involve a clean break, no longer friends - GASP! I only say that, in relation to a female friend that I have...her story is...she has been involved in drugs for many years, and a few of her close guy/boyfriends supply her with the drugs & other "benefits" as well. It has destroyed her life. She knows they way of the Lord, knows what is right, but can't escape the old ways. When she does part company with these few guys, she is okay for awhile until she starts seeing them again.

    The last account I had of her, maybe 6 months ago is that she is now experimenting with Lesbianism. We continue to hold her close in prayer, I've know her since she we were kids, and it is gut wrenching to see her go through this stuff.

    May God Bless you in your life choices...I don't think it ever gets easy, our flesh is so strong. Even Paul mentions warring with his flesh at times.
     

  11. I WOULD LOVE TO BE ON FIRE AGAIN!! I have moved away from God and I wasn’t sure what was stopping me from coming back into His presence. I have prayed about this and asked God to search my heart and to expose my sins.

    I’m not going to lie. . . God shared so much with me. I took a pen out and wrote down all of my behaviors and qualities that are displeasing to Him. It filled up half of a page. I knew that this was God because I didn’t want to beat myself up or end my life over what was shown to me. Still, I’m not entirely sure why I do the things that I do. This reminds me of Paul and what he wrote to the Roman church. I want to be closer to God, but I am having a difficult time trusting Him with my walk. This is because I have issues with the opposite sex. Yet, I understand that God is not a man nor are His ways like ours.

    I hurt for your friend. I do. It’s tough to remove the people who love in this world. Yes, I do see the person regardless of all the ways that he has hurt me in the past. He felt that he wasn’t worthy of the love that I have tried showing him. So he did everything in his power to push me away. He later admitted me to that he has always loved me, but he was insecure and scared. People who struggle in these ways have a difficult time understanding God’s love for them and that hurts me because I can relate. It’s easy to say “God loves me and He died for my sins,” but to truly believe this . . . it isn’t always that easy for some. Again, thank you so much for sharing your time with me.

    I'm trying :).
     
  12. For what know thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how know thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
    1Corinthians 7:16
    But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
    1Corinthians 7:28

    Read chapter 7 1Corinthians - the great chapter on virgins and marriage.
     
  13. I'll check that out :).
     
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  14. Yes, it is an awesome feeling! However, what led me to this place is/was a trial that I'd rather not have gone through.

    It is one of the things that as a Christian, I struggle with God a lot about, and always have...Isn't there an easier way, than to lead us in brokenness...? :zipped:

    I mean, obedience can be encouraged with a kind gesture sometimes, rather than having someone go through a rough time. My thinking doesn't always line up with God's thinking, I guess, lol.
     
  15. God set's us up with the right hearted people, so long as your hearts in the right place.
     
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  16. Hi.. and you have a good head on your shoulders..your doing the rigth thing by keeping yourself pure..that's awsome and not ez this day and age ..God is guideing you and maybe he is useing you to lead your friend to christ..dont worry about marriage. .the time will come and you will know ..God will make it clear..God bless
     
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  17. Sister Alyse Weiss. Some years ago,we had a sister in our church,with very much the same situation as yours,she, unlike you, wanted someone because in truth she was very insecure within her own self,she found someone who like you have was a unbeliever.( 2 Cor 6:14-18) As the pastor was also full of Holy Spirit, after showing this scripture,he said please let us take a walk to the back of the church,for the Lord wishes to show you an example.

    In the back of the church sister is where the children play swings etc.. and a large hill, used in the winter for children to slide with there sleds on. he asked her to stand at the top of the hill,he stood a few feet below her,the pastor then asked her to pull him up to where she was at the top of the hill,well she yanked and pulled but could not move such a man to where she was at the top of the hill

    ,He then said please give me your hand,and very lightly pulled her down to where he was at.he said and that is how easy an unbeliever can bring down a christian! A bird and a fish can marry,but where will they live together at?? She understood! The pastor then told her like any meal you have, do you not prepare yourself before eating?( 2Cor 5:17-19!!!)

    The Lord wants something from his followers many do not seem to grasp,there time! if you will be faithful( Luke 16:10) to the Lord in the time you give him each day,he will bring that which you seek.And so it was the lady became wise and did as the pastor instructed her by the Lord,and in 3 months time she found a fine man who believed with all of his heart,and she was very happy! This is a true story sister!

    The wisdom of the Lord grows in each of us as well pay attention to the knowledge given to us by God to stay in the word and give the Lord our time! I hope this has both encouraged you,and given you the very same hope each of us requires to mature as a true follower of our Jesus!( Rom 15:13)
     
  18. Hi There,

    Everything ontop of here is great, I love all the answers.

    I must say to wait for the right Partner is the best, pray for Him, even if you don't know him, still pray for him.

    My personal live was up and down, my mom said that i will NOT find anyone,
    but in Jesus i trust and 4 years after i decided to leave it in Jesus arm and keep on praying i met my first and last Girlfriend.

    We were friends for 3 years, then we got involved.
    6 months later married, up to then i kept myself pure.

    It is now 14 years later and I'm still in love.

    So please let Jesus work in the right partners life for you to make him ripe for you.

    From me TRUST Jesus for the man HE has for you.
     
    Fragrant Grace and Christ4Ever like this.
  19. Greetings @Alyse Weiss

    How are you?
    May I encourage you to re-read @Brighthouse reply to you?

    "( 2 Cor 6:14-18) As the pastor was also full of Holy Spirit, after showing this scripture,he said please let us take a walk to the back of the church,for the Lord wishes to show you an example.

    In the back of the church sister is where the children play swings etc.. and a large hill, used in the winter for children to slide with there sleds on. he asked her to stand at the top of the hill,he stood a few feet below her,the pastor then asked her to pull him up to where she was at the top of the hill,well she yanked and pulled but could not move such a man to where she was at the top of the hill

    ,He then said please give me your hand,and very lightly pulled her down to where he was at.he said and that is how easy an unbeliever can bring down a christian! A bird and a fish can marry,but where will they live together at?? She understood! "


    Bless you ....><>
     
    Wired 4 Fishen and Christ4Ever like this.
  20. Very Well Said Sir!
    God Bless
    Jim
     
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    Br. Bear likes this.

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