I hate myself, why does God love me.

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I am a people pleaser, and i wish i wasn't. I cry myself to sleep every time i act to please people, or say or do things, to gain acceptance from people who do not matter, but as soon as i decide to stop pleasing people, i catch myself, doing whatever i can to impress people I know won't do half the effort to be nice to me. A lot of people who are in my social circle think that I am "easy" or "******", but I know that I am not. I don't know why I continue to try to be cool in front of people, and i wish i wouldn't, i am scared that I will die at any second and no one will care, or that i will never meet someone to love and spend the rest of my life with because of my mistakes, how can anyone love me with all of the sins i have committed in my past, i feel as if i am not worthy of love, and it scares me, when i look in the mirror i cringe at my reflection, i wish i could see the salvation, but i cannot accept my past, and thus i cannot see how i can have a future, sometimes i feel as if God cant forgive me for my sins because they are so plentiful. But i still pray for forgiveness and guidance everyday, but I wonder if God would want someone like me in heaven.
 
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It is because you don't trust in God to fulfill His promises, that you are so fearful. It seems that you also don't trust humans to give you good things like love, just as you don't trust God to love you. It is because we are often unlovable, that God sent his Greatly Loved Son Jesus Christ into our world to take our sins upon Himself, so that God will no longer turn away from us in shame. God loves His son Jesus, and when you honestly turn to Christ and believe in His willingness to take away our shame of sin, then when God sees you in any faults you have, He sees His son Jesus in you and quickly forgives, and draws you back to Him in a loving embrace.
 
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Greetings @MonikeKrohnert

Lift up your heart and voice and sing praises to the Lord for your salvation
Thank Him that He loved you enough to save you from your sins
And that though you (like all of us) were totally unworthy......you are now clothed in His righteousness and precious to Jesus

Immerse yourself in the beautiful treasures of His word

The devil has a hold on your heart whispering his evil lies to you...he wants you sad and doubting

But hallelujah......you are free.....let the joy of the Lord be your strength


What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?
Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect?
It is God that justifieth.
Who is he that condemneth?
It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:31-39


 
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