I am a people pleaser, and i wish i wasn't. I cry myself to sleep every time i act to please people, or say or do things, to gain acceptance from people who do not matter, but as soon as i decide to stop pleasing people, i catch myself, doing whatever i can to impress people I know won't do half the effort to be nice to me. A lot of people who are in my social circle think that I am "easy" or "******", but I know that I am not. I don't know why I continue to try to be cool in front of people, and i wish i wouldn't, i am scared that I will die at any second and no one will care, or that i will never meet someone to love and spend the rest of my life with because of my mistakes, how can anyone love me with all of the sins i have committed in my past, i feel as if i am not worthy of love, and it scares me, when i look in the mirror i cringe at my reflection, i wish i could see the salvation, but i cannot accept my past, and thus i cannot see how i can have a future, sometimes i feel as if God cant forgive me for my sins because they are so plentiful. But i still pray for forgiveness and guidance everyday, but I wonder if God would want someone like me in heaven.