I give up!

[wendy03]

Ok- I think I finally give up hope for my husband and for my marriage. I dont want to love him anymore and I dont want to feel the things I feel for him and our marriage. I dont think the Lord meant for me to be this anguished over someone who is not worht it.
So I am requesting that you all pray that I lose all feelings for my husband and my marriage. I dont even know if I have the strength to deal with the sins he is living in even if he did come home. He came home once after cheating a few years ago and I didnt handle it well which is why he isnt living with me now so I am pretty sure I cant handle it again and I dont think I want to or have the ability to do so. I just want all of this to go away and have only feelings that the Lord has placed in me from above- peace that surpasses all understanding, joy that is out of this world and comfort in know ing the Lord loves me. Thats all I want now.
I am afraid my heart and my feelings for my husband may turn to hate and I dont want that at all but I dont want the love or hope or longing I have for him either.
Thanks,
Wendy

 

[rizen1]

My sister, how I missed you but I haven't forgotten you.

Father I bring my sister to you, her pain, her worries, her shame , Lord all the confusion that fills her mind. You are her Joy, her peace, her strength, her deliverer, her hope, her happiness..In you Lord everything is made right.

Lord I don't know the will you have for my sister, but I trust that your plan is for her good and to bring you glory.

Give my sister a song of praise, right now where ever she is, remove the pain and heal her Lord.

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."
Habakkuk 2:3

Patience Lord, we long for this gift, help her to wait on you, remove the pride and anger, so she can hear your voice.
Speak to her Lord, silent all deceiving voices and lying tongues.

I love you Lord, remove the chains from her husbands neck, bring him to his knees in repentance.

Father you are worthy of all our praises, and I thank you for all your doing and about to do.

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
John 14:27

"He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD. How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust, and has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood."
Psalm 40:3-4

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
Psalms 18:2

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Dear Wendy03

I stand in agreement with the prayer of rizen1 and will pray for you and your husband

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."
Habakkuk 2:3

Yes rizen1....How very true this is...the Lord's timing for accomplishing His will is perfect. And how much more precious the blessing will be, if the waiting has seemed so long. Take comfort in this promise wendy03

Loving Jesus may Wendy03 place all her hurt feelings into Your capable loving hands, and dearest Lord Jesus replace them with Your love. May compassion for her husband's lost soul overide any negative feelings.
Thank You Lord Jesus

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength (Is 40:31)

Let the peace of God rule in your hearts (Col 3:15)

God bless you

Julia

I was just emailing a passage of encouragement to a friend and as I did so, you came into my mind...and I thought these words may be helpful to you..as well as prayers.

Bring them hither to Me (Matthew 14:18)

Are you encompassed with needs at this very moment, and almost overwhelmed with difficulties ,trials and emergencies? These are all divinely provided vessels for the Holy Spirit to fill, and if you but rightly understood their meaning, they would become opportunities for receiving new blessings and deliverances....

...Bring these vessels to God. Hold them steadily before Him in faith and prayer. Keep still and stop your own restless working until He begins to work. Do nothing that He Himself does not command you to do. Give Him a chance to work and He will surely do so; and the very trials that threatened to overcome you with discouragement and disaster, will become God's opportunity for the revelation of His grace and glory in your life as you have never known before. Bring them hither to Me.
(from A. B Simpson)

Your heavenly Father knoweth...Matthew 6:32

Blessed are all they that wait for Him (Isaiah 30:18)

Every blesing Julia

 

[stephen]

Ok- I think I finally give up hope for my husband and for my marriage. I dont want to love him anymore and I dont want to feel the things I feel for him and our marriage. I dont think the Lord meant for me to be this anguished over someone who is not worht it.
So I am requesting that you all pray that I lose all feelings for my husband and my marriage. I dont even know if I have the strength to deal with the sins he is living in even if he did come home. He came home once after cheating a few years ago and I didnt handle it well which is why he isnt living with me now so I am pretty sure I cant handle it again and I dont think I want to or have the ability to do so. I just want all of this to go away and have only feelings that the Lord has placed in me from above- peace that surpasses all understanding, joy that is out of this world and comfort in know ing the Lord loves me. Thats all I want now.
I am afraid my heart and my feelings for my husband may turn to hate and I dont want that at all but I dont want the love or hope or longing I have for him either.
Thanks,
Wendy

Lord Jesus I ask you to give Wendy the strength and the wisdom to do what she feels she ought to do, submitting to your guidence in the Holy Spirit.

LOrd Jesus I feel her heart and I ask you to bring her through this trauma to a place of preace, and joy, and blessing, in the Christian Life. Which and whatever way as she seeks your will for her life.

 

[Br. Bear]

Dear Wendy,

I understand how you feel. It is perhaps too much to bear the thought of undergoing any further humiliation, hurt and pain.
It is no wonder you desire to have these thoughts clear in your heart and mind, and along with my brother and sisters, I pray for you to have peace and joy, that your hope be solely for and in Christ Jesus the Lord.

Certainly none of us know tomorrow, but we do have our hope that no man can take from us ,and I pray that your hope be so strong and resolved in Jesus the Lord that all other thoughts and fears will dissolve into the past, and you go your way rejoicing in the Lord and the faith He has given you....

Wendy, our life is hid in Christ, and no matter what each day brings forth, we have Jesus and His eternal love and promise, yea, we are sealed in Him, and so therfore can rejoice in today while it is still today and look forward to each tomorrow in His care and love for you and me and all who believe and know Jesus Christ as Lord.

Bless you Wendy ....><>

Br. Bear


That we should be to the praise of His glory,
who first trusted in Christ.

In whom ye also trusted,

after that ye heard the word of truth,
the gospel of your salvation:

in whom also after that ye believed,
ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,

Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession,
unto the praise of His glory.
Ephesians 1:12-14

 

[wendy03]

Hey thanks for all of your prayers- but just so ya'll know- all this time we have been praying for my husband, he has had a new girlfriend and since as of today he knows I can prove it, he had to come clean. So- what were all of these prayers for? I can not tell you all how embaressed and hurt I am. I dont even know what to say. He is useless, worthless, and very undeserving of my prayers. God will deal with him whenever and however. I do appreciate all the months of prayers from you all- there truly are decent people left in this world. Tony is not one of them. He cheated on is first wife and he has done it to me twice now. I should have known better. He is a pig and I do not want how I feel for him anymore.
But I have a question- what does it mean if I dont take this lying down? Is it me being spiteful or is it me being justified? By not taking it I mean when it comes time to go before a judge to resolve this pathetic marriage, do I go along and keep quiet or do I fight back? I am tired of all of this cheating people do so freely. It is disgusting and pathetic and makes no sense why anyone has to lie and cheat and be as low as trash on the street. I want him to be as humiliated and embaressed as I am and I think he deserves to be punished for his filthy actions. I know that the Lord says vengence is his- so do I let it go at that? Please pray for God to lift my hate and anger I feel at Tony right now. I dont even want hate for him- I want all feelings to be as though they never existed. I dont even know what the heck to pray for anymore. What do I do now? What do I do? I am sick of it and all he brought into this.
Please pray for me to let it all go and pretend it never happened so I dont become consumed with hate for Tony.
Thank You and I love you all very much- even if we never meet face to face, I love you all.
Wendy

 

[Br. Bear]

Dear Wendy,

O dear sister Wendy, I do feel for you now... as you have just learnt of this.... and I encourage you to immediately go to the Lord and begin thanking Him.... I do not know exactly how you will do this, but in giving thanks you can express the Lordship of Christ over your whole life, and begin to wind down and remember that He has a good plan for you.

We so often get caught up in our plans. Remember Joseph? He didn't plan getting dumped and sold and imprisoned.... but ah, what majestic plans the LORD had for him.

This is true of so many... in fact all who call upon the name of the Lord, including you, my sister.

Though you might see only the sudden shock , allow yourself to go quietly to the throne of grace and to be ministered to by the Lord.

If you haven't yet seen this video,
http://www.talkjesus.com/streaming-multimedia/22955-deeper-still.html
may I suggest you go and look now, then seek the Lord and His quietness for you.

We can talk about the things of court cases and the future a bit later... for now, it is important that you stay deeply in love with your Lord, Jesus Christ.

Remember too, that all through history, people have been treating the Lord in this manner, and have gone astray to other loves/gods and cheated in their hearts and devotion on the Lord... and yet, in His great mercy He still holds out His nail scarred hands to all who will come to Him. In other words, we can learn of Him, and see that He also understands all you are going through.

Bless you ....><>

Br. Bear


The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

 

[Chad]

Sister, just saw your thread.

Please read this article here on adultery and divorce, and what GOD has to say on this.

http://www.talkjesus.com/scriptural-answers/8717-adultery.html

http://www.talkjesus.com/scriptural-answers/350-divorce.html

 

[wendy03]

Thank You all for your kind words and prayer! Oddly enough, I am feeling a bit better about all of this and think I am ok with it all. The Lord is my shepard and I shall not want. This has been a long hard journey for me but I am finally getting ok!! I realy feel lots better even in the face of it all!!!! Despite what satan has meant for my harm, my God almighty will change it all for my good and His glory and of that I am promised in His word!! So I praise the Lord Jesus and I love Him and thank Him for all He is doing and all he has done!!!
Woo Hoo!!!!! Thank You Lord!!!!
Thanks you guys! I really love you all and need your friendship and prayers!!!
God bless us all mightily!
Love, Wendy

 

[Shutterbug]

Good morning Wendy;

My grandmother used to tell my Dad with a big grin: boys will be boys, and so will some men! He never argued the point. Marriage is one of those things we should not be sharing, but marital problems are rarely a one way street. I appreciate your feelings of betrayal. But unless you have forgiven him as Christ forgave you, then you may be part of the problem and blaming him unconditionally is unfair at this point.

I can't tell you to leave him, but it's a decision that you want to be 110% in the right if you make it. You know your husband better than we, so you will have to figure out just what he wants in your relationship and how you intend to accommodate it.

In the murder case of Gary Ridgeway, AKA as the Green River Killer, the surviving relatives of his victims were given a chance to voice their opinion. I fully believe that some would have torn him apart without the benefit of anesthesia given the opportunity. Despite the yelling and the threats, his face was a mask throughout, with one exception. One fellow took the podium and generally described the tension in the room. He then went onto say that he believed in a merciful God who forgave sinners. He stated that the Bible says we are to forgive those who wrong us. He looked at Ridgeway and said, "And, you Sir, are forgiven". It was the only time the defendant lost his composure and actually cried.

This is something you need to do. How you do it is up to you. Perhaps it will be a wake-up call to your husband, perhaps not. If not, well, you did your duty and can walk away with your dignity intact. Phil 4:8.

Cheers,
John

 

[wendy03]

Thanks John for your reply. However, we no longer live together and I am ok with it all now. There was a time I blamed him unconditionally. I do have my faults in my marriage. I never denied that. However, your comment about "boys being boys and so will men", thats a cop out and an excuse. There is no excuse for adultry. NONE! My husband will tell you there was nothing I did to cause that. He has no problem with admitting he was in the wrong. No matter what happens between a man and a woman, there is no excuse to run off to another person. That only exasperates the trouble.
I do appreciate your post and thank you for the time you took to write it. But I really am ok with it all now.
I have forgiven him. By the grace of God, I have and there is no other explanation for it except it is by Gods hand that I have forgiven. I do not want my husband back in my home with me- he has proven unfaithful 2 times now. He isnt worth it.
Wendy

P.S.- the Lord will deal with him now- it is out of my hands.

 

[jiggyfly]

P.S.- the Lord will deal with him now- it is out of my hands.

And that He will, with grace and mercy, of which we are all in need.

 

[rizen1]

So- what were all of these prayers for?

Sister I know your story so well, I've been praying for you from the beginning. And my prayer consisted of asking God to grant you patience and I also included this verse.

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."
Habakkuk 2:3

In the midst of all this drama..the best is yet to come, only God knows the plans he has for your life. It's about you right now and your Heavenly Father.

I love you, and I'm always here when you need to talk.

 

[Shutterbug]

Good morning Wendy;

I know I was a bit harsh, but thanks for responding. It's sad to see marriages break apart. My grandmother's comment was made because she knew my Dad was rather self-righteous. My paternal grandfather had left my grandmother to live with her older sister with whom he developed a crush during the Second World War. My maternal grandparents also split up for unknown reasons. My parent's marriage came apart when I was nine, putting the guys north, and the girls south, of the 49th Parallel. I am married a second time, so there is no halo above my head.

Cheers,
John