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I denied Jesus like Peter

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I'm 72 years old and have been a born-again Christian for almost 40 years. Recently, I denied being a "Christian" to my son, who has been saying such hurtful things to me. He has been accusing me of actions and events in his life that are totally false and said I'm a terrible person and shouldn't call myself a Christian. I need prayer for myself and for him. He's 45 years old and has become so bitter and angry with me. I'm concerned for him that he will be left behind if The Rapture would occur or if he would die suddenly. I'm sorry I denied being a Christian and feel like Peter did. I know I will be forgiven but I need prayer to heal my soul.
 
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Brother Retired,I am 65 years of age,and I do not know one single believer who at one time or another denied the Lord in there life,either by word, or by deed!( Matt 26:56) After the Lord came into my life it was 3 long years before I ever returned home to my brother and mom,I wanted to go home, but at the time I had not the money or the means,and the Lord was preparing me for what was to come as well!! ( Matt 10:36)

They know what buttons to push! I did what I believed was my best for the first couple of years brother retired,but I also failed until the Holy Spirit showed me something. The reason your 45 year old son does, and says what he says to you,is because when one is so insecure in ones faith,they wish to have others in the mud with them! You are far to old and have seen way to much to allow the enemy to lie to you about the real truth! ( Rom 8:1)

It is not a matter of will be forgiven, you have already been forgiven!!( 2 Peter 1:3-11) But you need to act this way,not feel this way.Truth is not in our feeling,but rather based upon our trust in what Jesus both has already done for us, and said to us through his Word. And so it was brother after the Lord spoke these things to me that I stood in the gap for them both!( Psalm 106:23)As Moses did!

Instead of treating them like a heathen,I talked to them as though they had already received Jesus into there live.( Heb 11:1) What is our hope brother??( Rom 15:13)!! They would say bad things,and when they did, I (Mark 4:24) them both! Hey blessing to you have to go now. LOL It came about upon the 3rd year of this,that on a very rain filled afternoon while I was in my bedroom in prayer of thanking Jesus for his Word and for his truth( 1 Thess 5:18) a knock came on the door,and my brother and mother both appeared and said,after some 3 years we truly see a great change in you,we believe that only Jesus could have done this,would you pray for us and over to receive this same Jesus as you did?

And so it was my brother that Jesus restored out family!( Gal 6:1) Its never been about being perfect in ourself to obtain this blessed result brother!!( Phil 3:12-14) It about acting as the conquers in Jesus he says we already are,and a conquer talks territory,they conquer fear,and doubt though our Jesus and his Word!( Rom 8:35-39)

For brother is we do not believe who will?( Mark 6:5-6) Believing is our only work brother.( John 6:28-29) Look close brother at 2 Peter 1:4-6 verse 5 who's faith?? Correct OUR FAITH!!! What further work does Jesus need to preform for us to receive what he has already promised?? NOTHING!!! He did it all on the cross for each of us we just have to believe!

My this both comfort you brother,and perhaps give a swift kick in the behind as the Lord gave me to see that his truth not only sets us free,but keeps us free in his love daily!( John 8:32) And when those feeling and emotions come to look to entertain our mindset,we speak his truth over them boldly! As Jesus himself did in Matt 4 against the devil himself! We are not just hearers of the word brother,that is for the wide road,we are on the narrow road of doers!( James 1:22) May every blessing always find you brother retired and always fine you most well in and through our blessed Jesus daily!!( Psalm 27:13)
 
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I'm 72 years old and have been a born-again Christian for almost 40 years. Recently, I denied being a "Christian" to my son, who has been saying such hurtful things to me. He has been accusing me of actions and events in his life that are totally false and said I'm a terrible person and shouldn't call myself a Christian. I need prayer for myself and for him. He's 45 years old and has become so bitter and angry with me. I'm concerned for him that he will be left behind if The Rapture would occur or if he would die suddenly. I'm sorry I denied being a Christian and feel like Peter did. I know I will be forgiven but I need prayer to heal my soul.
Dear Brother in Christ Jesus,
Not knowing your life, and what you have gone through. I'd say this is the first time that someone you loved has challenged the life you have led against your Christian faith. Especially by accusing you of having done something, you don't recall ever having done or said. My daughter just here lately has done the same to me, through my wife. The words were painful to hear, since, like you I'm sure you love him dearly, and can't imagine having done what they have said. The conviction you felt initially, meaning the thoughts of could I have actually done that? kind of questions you asked yourself, probably moved you in that direction of not seeing yourself as a Christian anymore. I'm sure Satan didn't help, by adding the doubt/possibility to your own. For in truth we feel, if the things we have been accused of did happen, we couldn't possibly be Christian, but wolves in sheep clothing.

One thing I'd say for sure. That you have been convicted of the possibility of having done the things you have been accused of, tells me that you are still a Child of God. For you have a heart of flesh and not of stone now. You feel for those you love, and the possibility of you being the cause of such pain, is cause for conviction.

You haven't said if your son is a believer or not. My daughter professed years ago of being one, but the walk I see in her, leaves me to wonder. So, I keep praying for her, as I suggest you do for your son. The love you have for your son, will shine through, no matter what they may believe has happened in the past. Whether in your lifetime they come to realize the love we have as parents for them, and not perfect ones that's for sure. That this realization will come forward, even if it occurs when you are no longer there. I know. Small consolation to you now, but if they don't know the Lord now, in prayer and hope they will one day. Hold on to that Hope that you have found and may have temporarily forgotten that exists in our Lord and Savior Jesus.

So, brother stay praying for your son. Don't hold the enemies lies of your denial of Christ that you are now no longer his in your head. This is false, as brother brighthouse has shown you. You are His still!!!

With the Love of Christ Jesus, I will add my prayers to yours.
YBIC
Nick
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Thank you so much for your kind words of wisdom. As a mother, it hurt deeply and I would have never imagined he harbored such resentment for me. It's been a few weeks since I posted this and my soul is renewing with the help of God. The Holy Spirit is my best friend and I talk to Him throughout the day and ask for His guidance, which He gives and I try my best to obey.

My son was raised in a Christian environment....meaning we took him to church and he was involved with Youth Group and went on missions as a teenager. I know he's fallen away from all that since his life choices at the age of 23 has "darkened" his spirit. I'm sure if you asked him now if he is a believer, he'd say "no". I pray for him daily and will never give up on him even though I've had to block him, physically, from my life right now.

He never knew his biological father because we were divorced when my son was a baby. His father was physically abusive to me and he didn't want anything to do with his son. I didn't remarry until my son was 8 years old. His step-father was a Christian and we were very involved with our church. We had good jobs and my son had everything he wanted. There were no other children from our marriage, so my son was an only child, like me.

In 1987, my father passed away and it seemed like my life was coming unraveled...both at home and at work. Long story short....my son and I relocated to another state in 1989 and I had a good job. My son was 15 at the time. He got an after-school job and had his own money and loved living where we did. My husband stayed behind to sell our house and he joined us 3 months later. My husband never felt at home there. He missed his family and all the sporting activities he had done his whole life. He whined and cried about it for so long that I agreed to go back. That was 1991 and I had to pull my son out of school. He wouldn't graduate with his class. This is one of the things he's resented for all these years. He told me he hated me taking him back to a school where he didn't have any friends (which wasn't true because all his classmates from grade school where there) and he said, "you turned my world upside down just because you two losers couldn't make it." He never knew the reason we went back. I didn't believe in making my husband look like the bad guy to my son, so I never told him the reason.

We no sooner got back and I had a part-time, minimum wage job, then my husband left me. I came home from work one day and he had taken everything...including the car. I was devastated. He left me a letter saying he had someone else...and as it turned out...she was someone from our church. I went to the pastor and talked to him because I thought he'd counsel us. Know what he said?? "I don't want to get involved." I couldn't believe it. Then everyone else in the church shunned me. I was an outsider after 12 years of service and friendship.

Then, after a few months, my husband wanted to come back. Things hadn't worked out. She had found someone else apparently and dumped him. I didn't want him back. I couldn't stand to look at him. I had no one to turn to. I let him come back because my son was graduating and I wanted him to have a "normal" graduation time. I didn't know it, but my son was resentful about his step-dad coming back. My son never wanted to know what happened so I never told him. He just said he didn't want to know. I think I made a big mistake by not talking to him back then, but I think I just wanted to leave it alone, too.

My husband was working for a lawn service and we were starting to work things out...I thought. Then one day, he was gone again. He always took the cowards way out and just left me a letter. Again...he was in love with someone else. This time, she was someone he worked with at the lawn service. I met her once before all this happened when I took him lunch one day. I could tell by his actions that there was something going on but I tried to push it out of my mind. I was right but the thing was...she didn't have the same feelings for him because she was involved with another girl. Yup. He never saw it and no matter how much he pursued her, she finally moved away with the other girl, but he still kept in touch with her.

Anyway, sorry this is so long...and this is the condensed version, but I felt it was necessary to explain why my son has been so resentful for so long.

We were divorced in 1994. My son had a good paying job, a nice car, and friends. He was never home except to sleep. I was still working a part-time job and I was struggling with expenses. My son paid nothing. He blew his money on stereo equipment and exercise machines. My ex kept coming around when he got lonely or needed a shoulder to cry on about his other girlfriends. I was a wreck and I weighed 98 pounds soaking wet. I looked like a Holocaust victim...and I felt like one.

Then, in 1997, I met up with someone I had met in 1975. He lived in CA but he was back visiting family. He was unmarried at the time and we got back together. He literally saved me. He asked me to go back out to CA with him and I said yes. My son was 23 and I thought it would be a good thing for him to assume some responsibility. Rent was only $100/month plus utilities so I knew he could do it easily. Instead, he asked my ex to move in with him. They both were irresponsible with money but I felt it was time I had a life of my own. Unfortunately, my son has always accused me of "abandoning" him.

We were married in CA later that year. We sent my son a plane ticket the next year and he came out for a couple weeks. We asked him if he'd like to come live with us and make a new life in CA. He had said he hated living where he was but he declined our offer. Not long after that, he told us he'd met someone and she was pregnant and they were going to get married. We went back for the wedding and met her for the first time and were horrified at how she treated him. We knew it was a huge mistake but he wouldn't listen. He married her and they had 2 children...which we were not allowed to see. She hated us and kept them away from us so we've never known them. He allowed this to happen and now they don't have anything to do with him because she's poisoned them against him. His life was hell for years and finally he left...or she threw him out for someone else...we've never known which way it was.

My husband retired in 2001 and we sold our home in CA and traveled around in our fifth-wheel for 3 1/2 years. We settled in TX and bought another home. I never heard from my son and when I tried to contact him, his wife would intercept my messages (either phone calls or emails) and tell me he didn't want anything to do with me and that I had been a terrible mother and we'd never see our grandchildren. I finally gave up.

In 2006, my mother passed away and we made the trip from TX to MI. I called my son at work and told him his grandmother had passed away and that's when he told me he was divorced and living with friends. He was sleeping on their couch and didn't have any place to go. I don't know what he expected me to do. He still had his job but from what he recently said, he expected me to send him money to find a place to live. He was 32 years old and still acting like a child.

Two weeks later, my husband's mother died and in June of 2007 there was a memorial service for her in PA. All my husband's family was there and I became very homesick. A year later we moved back but chose not to live in the town that I had lived in for so many years because it held such bad memories. We chose a small town about 30 miles away and we loved it there. My son and his girlfriend never came to see us unless we invited them for a meal. His girlfriend was very immature and tied to her mother's apron strings so when we invited them, she had to bring her mother along. They never came for holidays because they spent them with her family. We never saw them much and he never called. His girlfriends mother said it was my duty as the mother to call him, not the other way around. Her family was in a different "class" then us...and I hate that analogy but it's what it was. We never fit in with them and they felt uncomfortable with us. My son accused me of being a snob (which isn't true at all) and wanting people to "climb up my ivory tower" to control them. Where he got that idea is beyond me. We did our best to include them all in being a part of our life. He saw it differently. He said it was "not feasible" to drive 45 minutes to come see us. When we left there in 2014 to move to AZ, none of these feelings stopped my son, his girlfriend, and her mother from coming over with their hands out to take whatever they could from what we were getting rid of for the move. They never said thank you. He said I was abandoning him again.

There's been so many other things that I could tell you, but you get the idea. My son and I have had a toxic relationship for a lot longer than I realized. He says he hates me and will never forgive me and he's prepared to live with that the rest of his life.

I feel sorry for him but all I can do is keep praying for him.
 

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