I Cut: Ode to a Gothic Child

[PernellRodocker]

I wanted to post this poem that I had written for my nephew. He was a gothic loner. He cut himself just to watch the blood. I wanted him to know that I understood what he was doing and that we love him very much. I hope that this may bring to light some answers for many of you here that there are people hurting and they don't understand why. My nephew seemed to never fit in anywhere in life. Yes, he is still alive. His mother bought him a dog and now he appears to be alive in his heart and life. My wife and I have always witnessed to him but we moved away. Our hearts are always with him...

I CUT

Do you know my pain,
Blades cut, dropping rain?
Crimson puddles waves and tides?
I go alone and no one rides…
You don’t know me, who I am.
Don’t lie to me, not one more scam…
I hate the pain, sorrow and lies…
You don’t love me and no one cries…
Walk away leave me alone.
Don’t pacify, don’t toss a bone…
I don’t want you in my life.
I’d rather cut me with a knife…
Who are you and who am I?
I’m full of hate I’d rather die…
Lies, likes, anger and lies,
Give me answers,
Truth not lies…
Yet all alone with in the dark…
I hear my mind…
It scares me…

For pain I cut, For hurt I cut,
For laughs I cut, For loneliness I cut,
For you I cut, For me I cut.

No one understands why I cut…
Sometimes I don’t know why I cut…
I just cut,
And I watch me bleed…
There is no life in me…
They say blood is life you see…
I watch the life drip away…
It has my attention for a bit today…
And then the real pain starts again…
I have no tears I have no soul.
I have no heart, nor a single goal…
And again I cut and again I bleed,
And again no tears.
Can’t you read?

For pain I cut, For hurt I cut,
For laughs I cut, For loneliness I cut,
For you I cut, For me I cut.

I watch the life drop by drop…
Slowly drip away…
And for a moment…
I am free…

By: Pernell R. Rodocker
2010