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I believe my son is lost to the Lord.

Member
A bit of back story before I begin to tell the story of all that has befallen my child, and though he still may be lost to God I love him dearly.

My family consists of me, my wife Anne and my son Eli. We live way out in outback Australia and farm for a living, growing most of what we eat. It's a wholesome existence and we all love it greatly, but my son has always been rather lonesome. I think he's reclusive by nature, and he reads a lot (he gets VERY involved in his books).

I've urged him to follow the Lord's teachings, and until recently he's seem to accept them well. I've never been one to censor his reading or video game playing, because with such an open report between us I know I can guide him to think critically and understand that what he reads, or what he plays isn't real and though some of it may be sinful he understands (and enjoys) that he is only committing these sins virturally and would never do so in the real world.

About two years ago (he was 15), I checked on him late at night since I noticed his lights were on. I was shocked to find him masturbating to drawn homosexual pornography depicting animals eloping. Immediately I yanked the power cord out of his computer and took his mouse away.

The new morning I told my wife and she suggested we remove the internet from our household. Unfortunately, this far out (where the closest decently sized town is over 2 hours drive), the internet is our only realistic hope of keeping up to date in this crazy rapid world we live in. I spoke firmly with my son, and he admitted he was a homosexual to me.

I did not know if I should be furious with him, or with myself. I researched for weeks, barely speaking to him before I passed my judgement and I felt a rift had formed between us because of this. I told him no matter who he loves, that I will always love him and we both were happy, but we were never as close as we once were.

However this last week has left me very worried. My son had to go into town to see a doctor (we usually set him up in a hotel over night to not pressure him to drive late, when there is risk of hitting a kangaroo) and I was cleaning his room.

I noticed his laptop was on, and he was getting chat alerts from Skype. There were 3 different people sending him messages- all of them had Avatars of various animals, some of them inappropriate. They seemed to be Roleplaying with my son (who was under a persona named "Bloodfox Shadow"), and all of the chat logs were highly inappropriate! I was absolutely and utterly appalled with what I was reading, I looked through all of his contacts and most of them he was engaging in Erotic Roleplay with.

Shocked, I looked through his documents and found countless drawn images of large animals engaging in various homoerotic poses- blatant porn.

When my son got home, I confronted him about it. He told me he was a 'furry' and that it was this kind online community that had given him many friends because he often felt so alone and isolated. I told him I had seen all the horrific things he had typed to his "friends" and he turned pale.

Never have I felt so disappointed in him, he shut himself in his room and won't speak to me.

I'm at a loss.

I do not know what to do, or how my son has deviated this far from the Path I set him on, to follow our Lord. The images, and chat messages I have seen make me feel sick. My son likes to view images of animals having sex, and roleplay as one as well! It's appalling!

I googled a forum, hoping to find some help.

Please, if anyone knows how I can help my son recover from these sins it would be greatly appreciated.
 
Moderator
Staff Member
Today's sermon I was not on this subject. Rather it was on "It is Written" "The Source of Power" .

The main part was 2 Timothy 2:9 "Wherein I suffer trouble, as an evil doer, even unto bonds; but the word of God is not bound." and it was in this light that different people were talked about and one of them was Christopher Yuan. Below is his testimony as presented "Out of a Far Cuntry: A Gay Son's Journey to God/Christopher Yuan" which I researched to find.


Pray for them!
Fast!
The Gospel!
Discipleship!
Most importantly. LOVE THEM! Even as the Lord has loved us.

Now what to do about the above post? I would not have a problem with this post alone. Seems to be a parent seeking help in an area in which they acknowledge being unprepared to handle and are providing as much information as they can concerning it. So, if the post is allowed then it should be monitored to insure it doesn't go into an area that goes outside the area of providing assistance.

He might be able to find assistance since we do have a couple of members who used to be Gay, and are now living Godly lives in heterosexual relationships.

Hope this helps some.
YBIC
C4E
<><
 
Member
Pray for them!
Fast!
The Gospel!
Discipleship!
Most importantly. LOVE THEM! Even as the Lord has loved us.
This is a beautiful quote, I will definitely do just this!

I watched the full video you linked, and I think it's such a lovely story. Perhaps when things are better with my son, I will show it to him. I am wary though, as I do not like to guide him too sternly.

I will love him no matter his path, and though I can look past his sexual identity the biggest concern I have is what appears to be a community of beastiality he has engaged in! I feel so uncomfortable just thinking about what I have read and seen, and the thought of bringing it up with him in a deeper talk is plain embarrassing.

I'm at a loss, and I fear if I do not act soon, the growing rift between us will tear open, and though I will always be his father I am afraid he will not think to reciprocate the love I show him.
 
Active
Your son is certainly lost. That is some very base sinning he is taking part in.

The gospel is for sinners of the highest magnitude. I would not say there is no hope for him. He is still breathing.

Letting him have further access to the Internet would probably just continue to bring more evil into your household.

I do pray the Lord would give you the wisdom you need regarding this matter though.

Blessings,

Travis
 
Member
I am torn Travis, because if I take away the internet from him he will truly be alone and isolated.

I will have a very stern chat to him about all I have seen, and I will begin to monitor his internet activities closely.

Sometimes, during the afternoon I can hear him cheering from his room as he plays Multiplayer Competitive games with some of his friends he has found on the internet, and it truly makes my heart glow knowing that even with the lives we have, he can still engage in activities like that. But now I fear that experience has been ruined, as I know what sins my son and his friends delight in.

Does anyone know a good, reliable program I can install on my son's computer to monitor what he is doing? Clearly he did not believe to continue the trusting relationship we have.

Thank you.
 
Loyal
A bit of back story before I begin to tell the story of all that has befallen my child, and though he still may be lost to God I love him dearly.

My family consists of me, my wife Anne and my son Eli. We live way out in outback Australia and farm for a living, growing most of what we eat. It's a wholesome existence and we all love it greatly, but my son has always been rather lonesome. I think he's reclusive by nature, and he reads a lot (he gets VERY involved in his books).

I've urged him to follow the Lord's teachings, and until recently he's seem to accept them well. I've never been one to censor his reading or video game playing, because with such an open report between us I know I can guide him to think critically and understand that what he reads, or what he plays isn't real and though some of it may be sinful he understands (and enjoys) that he is only committing these sins virturally and would never do so in the real world.

About two years ago (he was 15), I checked on him late at night since I noticed his lights were on. I was shocked to find him masturbating to drawn homosexual pornography depicting animals eloping. Immediately I yanked the power cord out of his computer and took his mouse away.

The new morning I told my wife and she suggested we remove the internet from our household. Unfortunately, this far out (where the closest decently sized town is over 2 hours drive), the internet is our only realistic hope of keeping up to date in this crazy rapid world we live in. I spoke firmly with my son, and he admitted he was a homosexual to me.

I did not know if I should be furious with him, or with myself. I researched for weeks, barely speaking to him before I passed my judgement and I felt a rift had formed between us because of this. I told him no matter who he loves, that I will always love him and we both were happy, but we were never as close as we once were.

However this last week has left me very worried. My son had to go into town to see a doctor (we usually set him up in a hotel over night to not pressure him to drive late, when there is risk of hitting a kangaroo) and I was cleaning his room.

I noticed his laptop was on, and he was getting chat alerts from Skype. There were 3 different people sending him messages- all of them had Avatars of various animals, some of them inappropriate. They seemed to be Roleplaying with my son (who was under a persona named "Bloodfox Shadow"), and all of the chat logs were highly inappropriate! I was absolutely and utterly appalled with what I was reading, I looked through all of his contacts and most of them he was engaging in Erotic Roleplay with.

Shocked, I looked through his documents and found countless drawn images of large animals engaging in various homoerotic poses- blatant porn.

When my son got home, I confronted him about it. He told me he was a 'furry' and that it was this kind online community that had given him many friends because he often felt so alone and isolated. I told him I had seen all the horrific things he had typed to his "friends" and he turned pale.

Never have I felt so disappointed in him, he shut himself in his room and won't speak to me.

I'm at a loss.

I do not know what to do, or how my son has deviated this far from the Path I set him on, to follow our Lord. The images, and chat messages I have seen make me feel sick. My son likes to view images of animals having sex, and roleplay as one as well! It's appalling!

I googled a forum, hoping to find some help.

Please, if anyone knows how I can help my son recover from these sins it would be greatly appreciated.
Dave I'll ask you the same thing I asked another person on TJ What are you speaking over him? What are you praying for him? Are you wasting your time begging God to do something He's already done? Are you speaking the problem? Your words will make you and your son/family winners or losers. First You speak what God says about your son. Second You pray Gods word over him, and your family. Never relent either.

Pray like this....

Because of the love that Your Holy Spirit has given (your son’s name), I do not cease to pray, and to desire that (your son’s name) might be filled with the knowledge of Gods will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That (your son’s name) might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness; Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made (your son’s name) fit to be a partaker of the inheritance of the saints in light:

(Colossians 1:8-12 AV)




That the God of our Lord Jesus, the anointed one and His anointing, the Father of glory, may give unto (your son’s name) the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him:

The eyes of my (your son’s name) understanding being enlightened; that he may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of His mighty power,


Ephesians 1:17-19



Ephesians 3:14-20

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus the anointed one and His anointing,

Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

That he would grant (your son’s name), according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

That the anointed one and His anointing may dwell in my heart by faith; that (your son’s name), being rooted and grounded in love,

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

And to know the love of the anointed one and His anointing, which passes knowledge, that (your son’s name) might be filled with all the fullness of God

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that I ask or think, according to the power that works in them.

Unto him be glory in the church by the anointed one and His anointing Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen
 
Loyal
A bit of back story before I begin to tell the story of all that has befallen my child, and though he still may be lost to God I love him dearly.

My family consists of me, my wife Anne and my son Eli. We live way out in outback Australia and farm for a living, growing most of what we eat. It's a wholesome existence and we all love it greatly, but my son has always been rather lonesome. I think he's reclusive by nature, and he reads a lot (he gets VERY involved in his books).

I've urged him to follow the Lord's teachings, and until recently he's seem to accept them well. I've never been one to censor his reading or video game playing, because with such an open report between us I know I can guide him to think critically and understand that what he reads, or what he plays isn't real and though some of it may be sinful he understands (and enjoys) that he is only committing these sins virturally and would never do so in the real world.

About two years ago (he was 15), I checked on him late at night since I noticed his lights were on. I was shocked to find him masturbating to drawn homosexual pornography depicting animals eloping. Immediately I yanked the power cord out of his computer and took his mouse away.

The new morning I told my wife and she suggested we remove the internet from our household. Unfortunately, this far out (where the closest decently sized town is over 2 hours drive), the internet is our only realistic hope of keeping up to date in this crazy rapid world we live in. I spoke firmly with my son, and he admitted he was a homosexual to me.

I did not know if I should be furious with him, or with myself. I researched for weeks, barely speaking to him before I passed my judgement and I felt a rift had formed between us because of this. I told him no matter who he loves, that I will always love him and we both were happy, but we were never as close as we once were.

However this last week has left me very worried. My son had to go into town to see a doctor (we usually set him up in a hotel over night to not pressure him to drive late, when there is risk of hitting a kangaroo) and I was cleaning his room.

I noticed his laptop was on, and he was getting chat alerts from Skype. There were 3 different people sending him messages- all of them had Avatars of various animals, some of them inappropriate. They seemed to be Roleplaying with my son (who was under a persona named "Bloodfox Shadow"), and all of the chat logs were highly inappropriate! I was absolutely and utterly appalled with what I was reading, I looked through all of his contacts and most of them he was engaging in Erotic Roleplay with.

Shocked, I looked through his documents and found countless drawn images of large animals engaging in various homoerotic poses- blatant porn.

When my son got home, I confronted him about it. He told me he was a 'furry' and that it was this kind online community that had given him many friends because he often felt so alone and isolated. I told him I had seen all the horrific things he had typed to his "friends" and he turned pale.

Never have I felt so disappointed in him, he shut himself in his room and won't speak to me.

I'm at a loss.

I do not know what to do, or how my son has deviated this far from the Path I set him on, to follow our Lord. The images, and chat messages I have seen make me feel sick. My son likes to view images of animals having sex, and roleplay as one as well! It's appalling!

I googled a forum, hoping to find some help.

Please, if anyone knows how I can help my son recover from these sins it would be greatly appreciated.
Dave, As you already know, showing love to your son is very very important, yet love also gives "correction" to those whom we love, even though it seems grievous at times. Living so for out in the middle of nowhere is very hard for a young person. They need other kids their own age to have fellowship with. The "internet" is a great tool for spreading the Gospel, and keeping in touch with family members, but it also a very dangerous place for "idle" hands ,and minds. Maybe if you had some relatives that you trust were your son can go that is near other kids his own age every once in a while. He needs a Godly person closer to his age to help him as a good role model. There is nothing more heart felt sorrow for a parent to see their own flesh, and blood turning to the elements of this world. I pray the Lord to give you Wisdom in how to deal with this situation. I believe he will. Never give up, be strong and speak the truth to your son in love. Love never fails.

Pro 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Pro 17:25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him.
 
Loyal
Your son is certainly lost. That is some very base sinning he is taking part in.

The gospel is for sinners of the highest magnitude. I would not say there is no hope for him. He is still breathing.

Letting him have further access to the Internet would probably just continue to bring more evil into your household.

I do pray the Lord would give you the wisdom you need regarding this matter though.

Blessings,

Travis
Wow! Travis Did you really say that?!
 
Member
Hi all, thank you for your replies. It is so wonderful to see a community like this offer their support.
He needs a Godly person closer to his age to help him as a good role model. There is nothing more heart felt sorrow for a parent to see their own flesh, and blood turning to the elements of this world. I pray the Lord to give you Wisdom in how to deal with this situation. I believe he will. Never give up, be strong and speak the truth to your son in love. Love never fails.
Unfortunately due to our lifestyle, this is simply impossible. I know there are a few kids around his age within a decent radius of us, but they are atheist.

I myself am the youngest of 5 siblings, my brothers and sister's children are all studying at Universities, or working full time jobs. On occasion my oldest brother will visit, and Eli likes him. Perhaps I could send him away for a period to be with his uncle, who is more successful in enforcing his beliefs than I am. I am too soft on him, when I was growing up I only had devout Christians to look up to, but my son has only had his parents with the occasional appearance of a relative compared to the masses of secular teenagers he has interacted with over the Internet.

I have spoken to him this afternoon, and I explained to him his Sins and why he must walk the path of God.

He retorted that all Sins are equal, and said I was comparable to him for eating shellfish and wearing polyester.

I disconnected his computer from the internet, and I will not allow him to return to it until we can see how passionately he walks the path of our God.

If he rebels, I will continue to punish him for his sins. For my Love of my son, I pray he partakes in the Lord's Wisdom.

I will keep everyone posted if the situation develops poorly, thank you all for your help and kind words.
 
Loyal
Hi all, thank you for your replies. It is so wonderful to see a community like this offer their support.

Unfortunately due to our lifestyle, this is simply impossible. I know there are a few kids around his age within a decent radius of us, but they are atheist.

I myself am the youngest of 5 siblings, my brothers and sister's children are all studying at Universities, or working full time jobs. On occasion my oldest brother will visit, and Eli likes him. Perhaps I could send him away for a period to be with his uncle, who is more successful in enforcing his beliefs than I am. I am too soft on him, when I was growing up I only had devout Christians to look up to, but my son has only had his parents with the occasional appearance of a relative compared to the masses of secular teenagers he has interacted with over the Internet.

I have spoken to him this afternoon, and I explained to him his Sins and why he must walk the path of God.

He retorted that all Sins are equal, and said I was comparable to him for eating shellfish and wearing polyester.

I disconnected his computer from the internet, and I will not allow him to return to it until we can see how passionately he walks the path of our God.

If he rebels, I will continue to punish him for his sins. For my Love of my son, I pray he partakes in the Lord's Wisdom.

I will keep everyone posted if the situation develops poorly, thank you all for your help and kind words.

Remember Dave...Your son is under your covering. You do have authority in the spirit over him. You can do warfare on his behalf and win. My suggestion to you is sound
 
Administrator
Staff Member
Hi @Farmer Dave

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with your son. You're in a tough place, but nonetheless the "tough" part ultimately is not about your strength, but God's Holy Spirit that convicts and transforms. He has the power to do the supernatural, even while we grapple and struggle in our faith in whatever the situation we're facing.

I will keep you and your son, family in my prayers. Continue to love him and pray for him. You have to truly surrender this to GOD because you cannot control your son, save him or transform his heart. Only the Holy Spirit can do this.

“Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God — truly righteous and holy.” - Ephesians 4:21-24
 
Active
Dave, first God bless you and welcome to TJ.
Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do, but have to do.
I told a friend once, "are kids aren't the problem, we are." What I mean by that is we are always giving them what they want or what we never had; this is not a good thing, it encourages the lust of the flesh and the pride of life (for we give them the world and not GOD.
Take that internet away and put the Bible in his hand. Start a family study at a certain time every night. Pray together. Transformation begins taking place as we read the Word, seeking God's Truth, renewing our mind by washing of water by the Word. Amen.
What we feed the spirit man is what the spirit man becomes...
There is hope; don't give up on him. If we want to see change, then we must diligently seek God for that change to happen.
Your family is in my prayers.
All praise, honor, and glory be to God. Amen
 
Member
Hello everyone.

Bless you all for your words, and I have tried myself, tried my hardest for things to not be this way.

We spoke, a lot before he made up his mind. For a time he was suicidal, and I pray I have shown him the path away from such evil thoughts.

However, as of last night he has denounced his faith and told me he wishes to move to Broken Hill, and house share with three other homosexuals, two of which he has informed me are his boyfriends. I am lost. I do not know if I should rein him in and force him down the right path, or let him live his own life and hope whatever hardships between us will mend in time.

I was at a loss as to how he could have two boyfriends, in an area so far away from us but he told me he started internet dating with them months prior to this.
I fear he could be tricked, hurt and lied to by these men and I demanded I speak to them before he departs, but he slammed his door in my face and screamed about how I'm so intrusive (and insulted our Lord and bible).

This is my most desperate hour as a parent, my wife has been teary eyed for the last day, and she is furious beneath it.

To make matters worse, all of last night we could hear our son "yiffing" (as he calls what I think are his internet sex affairs) into the early hours of the morning and goodness what a vile tongue he has.

I'm in half a mind to stick a boot in his rear and forget he exists, but I have raised this boy too long for such an act to not be painful. I have prayed with my wife for countless hours in the past few days, hoping for an answer to our problems.
 
Active
My dear; we can not force anyone to do anything; not even our kids, it will push them farther away. Hold your head up and praise God for you have planted the good seed in his heart and even though he may denounce it now, it will not be voided out. All praise, glory and honor be unto God. Amen
 
Moderator
Staff Member
For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:
So shall My word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
Isaiah 55:10-11


@Farmer Dave

The seed has been sown.

Praying, trusting and believing in the Lord who is abundantly able to save

Blessings of peace to you.
 
Active
Hi Dave;

As I see it, no one is lost to the Lord unless A) He decrees it; or, B) they're dead with having repented. While I'm not condoning it, people sometimes live in rebellion to their parents, and to God. You can lead a horse to water to drink, but it won't drink a single drop until its thirsty.
 
Loyal
Hello everyone.

Bless you all for your words, and I have tried myself, tried my hardest for things to not be this way.

We spoke, a lot before he made up his mind. For a time he was suicidal, and I pray I have shown him the path away from such evil thoughts.

However, as of last night he has denounced his faith and told me he wishes to move to Broken Hill, and house share with three other homosexuals, two of which he has informed me are his boyfriends. I am lost. I do not know if I should rein him in and force him down the right path, or let him live his own life and hope whatever hardships between us will mend in time.

I was at a loss as to how he could have two boyfriends, in an area so far away from us but he told me he started internet dating with them months prior to this.
I fear he could be tricked, hurt and lied to by these men and I demanded I speak to them before he departs, but he slammed his door in my face and screamed about how I'm so intrusive (and insulted our Lord and bible).

This is my most desperate hour as a parent, my wife has been teary eyed for the last day, and she is furious beneath it.

To make matters worse, all of last night we could hear our son "yiffing" (as he calls what I think are his internet sex affairs) into the early hours of the morning and goodness what a vile tongue he has.

I'm in half a mind to stick a boot in his rear and forget he exists, but I have raised this boy too long for such an act to not be painful. I have prayed with my wife for countless hours in the past few days, hoping for an answer to our problems.
Brother you said one thing that really concerns me....You said that you 'believe' that your son is lost to the Lord.
I will not feed you soft words or platitudes here, so don't take offense. Your son is our main concern. If you BELIEVE your son is lost then you are disbelieving Gods Word. Pure and simple. Either you will believe God or the enemy. Which do you choose? If you choose to believe the enemy then your son IS lost...If you choose to believe God then guess what? Your son will be saved. He is still under your roof so he is therefore under the umbrella of your authority. So PRAY THE WORD over him!
Look. If you pray the Word you know that you are praying Gods will for your son. If you know that it is Gods will then you will believe that your son will receive that which you pray for. Your son is NOT lost if you will line up your words with Gods Words. You have dominion in the Earth not Satan. You call the shots for your family, not Satan. So....What will you believe? Its all up to you brother...
Acts 16:31 (CJB)
31 They said, “Trust in the Lord Yeshua, and you will be saved — you and your household!” Believe this or believe your son is lost. Believe Gods Word is good or believe He is a liar.
 
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