Seeker Of Jesus
Member
- Joined
- May 28, 2010
- Messages
- 131
I accepted Christ on may 29th 2010. it's been almost a year and i must say that my walk with Him has been a roller coaster. These past few months i have been battling with my flesh and my flesh has been winning. I really wanna turn away from the things of this world but i can feel something strongly trying to keep me in this world. I no longer read the bible nor do i pray as much, and i know how important prayer is. Prayer is THE most important thing in a Christians life yet i can't seem to find that drive that i had to pray and to read His word. I dont think 2 hours can past through out any day the God doesn't pop up in my head and i know that's Him calling out to me but i just can't seem to find that drive. Just thinking about Christ and what He did on the cross, should be more than enough to drive me but i shamefully admit that it doesn't and when i do get that spark it doesn't last long. I long to have a relationship with Him but i just can't seem to commit. These past months i realized that when the bible says that we (who accept Christ) will be in spiritual warfare the moment we accept Him meant that literally and wow how i have been at war and i feel like i'm loosing. There is this particular sin (pirating, by pirating i mean the downloading of music, movies, tv shows, video games without paying which is stealing and i didn't really see it as stealing until a few weeks ago that it hit me, but i can't seem to break away from that, i mean it seems ridiculous but it's true. I can seem to be able to cut the cord that ties me to this world.
I have looked back and re evaluated my faith and i don't think i have produced any fruit since i have accepted Christ and that scares me. Jesus said that faith with out fruit is a dead faith and at first i thought that it contradicted the fact that the bible says that our salvation is in Christ and in Christ alone and not by works but now i realize that what Jesus said does not contra dict that but it means that when someone is truly saved they will feel this passion, this drive to wanna do Good things in the name of Jesus but i have yet to feel that and when i do it fades away quickly. Because of this i have questioned whether i am truly saved, I have become emotionally numb to certain things. I live in a household where my family don't believe, and most of my family outside my house dont believe and so i'm constantly surrounded by that is having an affect on me.
This has been tearing me apart this is constantly in my mind and i wish so bad to live for God. i know i wrote alot and i apologize for that but i needed to get this out.
I'm asking from the bottom of my soul to please pray for me.
Thanks and God bless
I have looked back and re evaluated my faith and i don't think i have produced any fruit since i have accepted Christ and that scares me. Jesus said that faith with out fruit is a dead faith and at first i thought that it contradicted the fact that the bible says that our salvation is in Christ and in Christ alone and not by works but now i realize that what Jesus said does not contra dict that but it means that when someone is truly saved they will feel this passion, this drive to wanna do Good things in the name of Jesus but i have yet to feel that and when i do it fades away quickly. Because of this i have questioned whether i am truly saved, I have become emotionally numb to certain things. I live in a household where my family don't believe, and most of my family outside my house dont believe and so i'm constantly surrounded by that is having an affect on me.
This has been tearing me apart this is constantly in my mind and i wish so bad to live for God. i know i wrote alot and i apologize for that but i needed to get this out.
I'm asking from the bottom of my soul to please pray for me.
Thanks and God bless