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Hurt and Confused

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by Denise 1968, Dec 21, 2016.

  1. I have two issues that I really need help on:

    First Issue:
    There has been such a heaviness on me for the last few months, and it is in regard to a church that I have attended for now over 19 years. My uncle is my pastor and my mom's sister is his wife. I am the church treasurer, and a part of the praise/worship service, and also the choir. I have been church treasurer for 4yrs now. Before then we had no treasurer and my pastor did weekly church deposits. I recently visited the bank that our church banks with, because I have never had access to our online account. I was given the okay by the bank representative to setup password, etc, online. All I want, is to make sure that my records are accurate. In checking the online account, I am deeply troubled because my totals do not add up to what is in the church bank account. We have not had very many business meetings these past 4yrs, so what I have reported in the past is not correct. I do not write out any checks, my pastor has these in his possession. My pastor also withdraws his monthly salary monthly from the church account. I have a notebook where I keep record of tithes, public offering, Sunday school offering, etc. I record these amounts and personally hand these weekly totals over to my pastor on a weekly basis. How do I go to my pastor with these concerns?

    Second Issue:
    My mom also attended this church as well. Mom passed away on May 28, 2015. I went through probate court and was appointed independent executor over her estate. My siblings and I recently sold property that first belonged to my grandparents and then to my mom after she saved it from almost being foreclosed on. My mom's sibling's signed quitclaim deed, relinquishing their rights forever. Mom took out a loan and caught the taxes up and remodeled the home. My mom's two sister's (one is the pastor's wife) attend my church. To make a long story as short as possible, my mom's family is upset that they were not given any money from the property being sold. My name (my siblings) has been slandered to others and it hurts so very much. I have gone to one aunt (the pastor's wife), my other aunt would not pick up the phone when I called to set up a time to talk with her. I have attended church since all of this occurred and it's just not the same. What do I do?

    I apologize for such a lengthy post!!!!!
  2. @Denise 1968 Welcome to the forum.

    You must, of course, do what is right according to God. It seems to me that God has already spoken to you on this. What you apparently want is to find an easy way to make things right with everyone. That, unfortunately, is not always possible.

    Making it right between you and God is the most important thing and the only thing that you can definitely do. Doing that may make it even more difficult, if not impossible to smooth out the rough roads between and other people. Remember that early in His ministry, Jesus drew large crowds and people traveled from far to see Him and hear Him, but where were those multitudes when He went before the High Priest and Pontius Pilate?

    Jesus in the end, walked His hard road alone except for God. That can be a hard lonely pathway, but it is the way we must walk if no one else is listening:

    "Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away?" John 6:67

    Jesus would not compromise even to keep His closest followers following. Remember Peter's response:

    "Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life." John 6:68

    This is what matters in the end for you and for me... that we walk with Jesus rather than with any other man.

    I am praying for you
    Bendito and Denise 1968 like this.
  3. Thank you so very much, I truly appreciate your prayers as well. God bless you!!!!
  4. Greetings,

    May I recommend that you first deal with the "hurt and confused" feeling?

    Whatever other people might do or say, you are the only one who can choose to deal with such feelings or emotions. The enemy would gladly interfere with your heart and mind and draw you away from your faith in God through Jesus Christ His Son.
    Take sure steps to guard against being vulnerable. Keep focused on what Jesus has and does and will do for you. Should we lose the peace of God over temporal matters? Surely not!

    Give thanks to the LORD for He is good. Thank Him that everything is currently as it is, allowing Him to keep you steadfast and by praise, promoting (exalting) Him rather than the works of the devil.

    Bless you ....><>
    Brighthouse likes this.
  5. Denise1968 To the first point you made. From what you wrote it seems there has been some stealing going on by someone!( John 12:6) And not by you either! But someone! And you know who to!! So you are needing to be shrewd in your words!!( Matt 10:16) Upon presenting this to your pastor,I would say, "Pastor I am having some trouble with the figures I am showing, and the church bank accounts,could you help me understand this please?"

    Then see what he does or says, or if he even wants to look at it! If he does not, and says something like ,oh it will be alright,there are some things you are not aware of,then I would get out of that job you have been assigned,because you do not wish to be a part of something which has leaven in it!( Gal 5:9) Being Blunt,you do not wish to be corrupt yourself! And someone else will find this out! You do not wish to be a part of that either!

    Just something for you to consider Denise! Point 2 You find out in short order then when things come down to money, most show scrooge! You are blamed for there loss? Yes indeed Denise !! Sounds like most family's to me! From this,do you think it possible that it is the pastors wife doing the stealing because of what she feels has been done to her? People can lie to themselves about anything you know to excuse a sin! This thought came to me from the second point you have just made! Anyway, you know that none of this is your fault! Reminds me of this Denise( Matt 20:1-16) 12-16!!! Hope this has helped you Denise! Blessing always to you through our Lord Jesus Christ!
    Christ4Ever and Br. Bear like this.
  6. I'm sure glad God had me quit working for other men and sell everything I thought was mine before sending me out into the streets as a homeless man to preach the Gospel for Him. Life has never been the same since. Once you experience that the flesh of man is the enemy who steals, lies, cheats, etc. that the Lord can tame while He's using your body to write and speak with, then you will know who you are IN HIM.
    Br. Bear likes this.

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