Join Us Today!

Join our non-denominational community with 10,000+ members and more than 50,000 monthly visitors today. Engage in bible discussions, studies, prayer support and friendly fellowship.

How to deal with freeloaders

Discussion in 'Counseling' started by Lanolin, May 3, 2017.

  1. At the end of the day, three unwilling people still adds up to three unwilling people. I have the feeling that your friend can be a difficult person to work with which would make your time together somewhat challenging. I'd say more than her hips and knees incurred damage. I also have the feeling that while you prefer to avoid errands on her behalf, you do not come across as wanting to abandon her. As I am unfamiliar with both the general and wiring layout of her domicile, is an extension cord necessary to reach a table and chair which is comfortable for her? And, does she have the means to print a draft?

    Much like life, books are a series of interwoven short stories, Perhaps you could arrange to drop in for tea one or two days a week and do a partial typing leaving her to do some. Call and check on her progress for your next visit. I get that nothing may happen on her end which would leave you at Square One. You may have already tried that tact. Unless the story is more like a short poem, chances are the draft is not done in one short session. Does she have the vision and typing skills adequate for the task on her behalf? And, does her computer have software to facilitate writing stories / book which she can easily use? I also appreciate a laptop is less than ideal for long periods of typing.

    Is she a spiritual person? Does she believe in a higher power? Is she a Christian? Does she believe God will supply all her needs? Could you be part of that plan? Or, is she none of these and is simply looking after No. 1?
  2. She's perfectly capable but just unwilling to do her own work, yes shes a christian, apparently she has her own laptop and did have her own printer she just doesnt want to use it.

    Shes all the way across town and Im not prepared to go over and do the work for her or do any here because its her work, not mine, she has to learn she CAN do things herself.

    I have a full time job..I dont have time to drop in and have teas with anyone. i am sure that a laptop can have an extension cord and bedside table she just needs ask God to find creative solutions on how to use her space where shes staying.

    One of the other writers says she will host a retreat maybe she can set up something for her there.

    Anyway please pray. Its just an article for a magazine. We usually write short pieces, I think all her life shes been using people to type things for everything else. I am just the latest shes latched on to.
    Sent from a mobile device
  3. Also if she doesnt have internet she can just save to a usb stick and then print it at the library. Really I have no idea why she can't do these simple things when she seems to be capable of doing other things..or ordering others about so it takes longer, so what?

    People that lose their limbs can paint with their hands and mouth, theres even a christian fellow who has no limbs..that's an idea maybe I can give her his book.
    Sent from a mobile device
  4. Nick vuljivic i think it is.

    Well I just told her am not doing any corrections for her and she still goes and says oh it wont take long.
    But I will just say you do them yourself if she insists. no cant help you, it wont work.. Goodbye.

    She cant even seem to lift a finger, shes telling her host to send it on her email to me. I just said, go print it and post it to me.

    But I also said, since am not doing it anymore, to not bother. She is still going on about it months later. It will never be published. Then she goes and says I can have it for my cv. Well I dont need anything for my cv. Then ahe said this weird thing can have it to impress a man friend.

    What planet is she on? I dont need to impress anyone. It was her idea to write it not mine. Arrgh please Lord just tell her to drop it! The email didnt send, I never got it, so, please let that be the end of it.
    Sent from a mobile device
  5. Well, things are improving, did end up going to writers meeting and she rang for ride as usual but was doing something else beforehand and after so she had to make her own way there, however she did ring other people.
    She may not change her behaviour but I just need to know how to handle it. Its the same with people that joke around all the time. It can be very tiresome but they only do it to gain attention,

    She kept asking if I recieved the article but I hadn't which is ok by me cos I have no time to do corrections, and another thing is she didnt get round to correcting or citiquing this months writing task but thats ok she didnt take it home to do later, things just take longer with her I think.

    At one point her freeloading behaviour was so bad I was actually questioning whether she had been truly saved - but she needs a good counselor on that one and i cant be that person.

    There are people that try the patience of saints, and I think through them we learn to forgive, forgive and forgive..but Lord sometimes you just want to shake some sense into them.
    Sent from a mobile device
  6. Thank you Lord. Just want to say deciding to give up writing for time being and theres no freeloaders at the garden circle club in fact older people there offer ME rides and flowers.

    Also the competitions are easier to enter and nobody critiques your flowers or gets you to grow their flowers for them.

    It makes me think there just needs to be one person in a group that takes unfair advantage of a newer or younger member and that can ruin your whole experience of it.
    Sent from a mobile device
  7. The writing group I heard is being disbanded or meeting somewhere else, she finally sent the article which was few months later. I'm not typing it up!

    I'm not going to renew membership at this stage, am too busy to write. I do think one day I could look back on it and laugh, but at the time dealing with a difficult person can drive you nuts.

    Didn't get a copy of Nick's book but God showed me a copy of something else that describes her exactly called 'Little Miss Princess'.

    Well I can say one thing...God is faithful in this trial. I hope He won't send me any more!
  8. ok what do you think about a man asking a lady for money.

    Usually they want it on the spot but don't realise what you've got is earmarked for something else. Does anyone else get treated like a bank? The thing is people say they will pay you back but something puts a check in me to say NO - wait till your next pay. Or ask your wife. Or ask God.

    I don't know, I am feeling rather annoyed. I myself don't ask others for money, I've only asked for food which I think is different and prepared to go without if I don't have the means.

    I've got to stop giving people rides if people think they can ask me for money in the car. :-(
  9. Hmm when praying God gave me Proverbs 20:15-16

    So..should I take someone's beanie or coat if they ask me for a loan of money?
  10. This lady wrote another article on something else and it got published. She did claim that the person who typed it up for her offered. But I wonder if she will do it again. Cos she still nagged her other friend to do it last time because she thinks hes not busy.

    Even if hes not he didnt want to do it so I think she either nagged him till he caved or he was trying to keep the friendship.

    Well anyway maybe the right word isnt freeloaders its offloaders! In any case shes never typed anything herself. I just find that a bit disturbing seeing as shes meant to be a writer.

    I am thinking my boss sometimes tries to do that with me cos he gets a better offer. Get others to do the work for you that you dont like to do while you sit back and watch them work and have a beer.

    Um. Is this right?

    In any case, what seems to happen is these people shoot themselves in the foot cos God sees their motives. I remember working for someone else and she tried to get me to do a job she was actually meant to do. She gave me a short deadline cos she didnt time manage herself properly or it could have been she just wanted to do something else and she just didnt want to so that work. Then my computer ended up crashing so she did it herself anyway. Lol.

    She soon learned not to dump jobs on me!
    Sent from a mobile device

Share This Page

Users Who Have Read This Thread (Total: 0)