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How the Internet Really Began

How the Internet Really Began

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of
Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she was now and then called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from
town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving
thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags
short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will
reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be
made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with
the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham
sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from
his tent.

But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret
himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy
horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical
Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the
deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches
were going to the drum maker -- one Brother William of Gates, who
bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on
making drums that would work only with Brother Gates's drumheads and

Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over
by others."

And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel (or, as it came to
be known, "eBay"), he said, "We need a name that reflects what we

Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner-Operators."

"YAHOO!," said Abraham.

And that is how it all began. So you see, it wasn't Al Gore after