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how does one handle love

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Member
i am so confused, am i forbidden being a christian not to fall in love at my age? 19 ofcourse?it is like know elder wants us to fall in love even it is with each other i mean christians. what shd i do? :wilted_ro
 
Member
Well, I can't entirely understand what you wrote, but Im pretty sure I do. Falling in love is a very tuough thing to deal with at an early age. I myself am an early 21 and just recently fell in love for the first time. But sometimes, which Im guessing is your case, you are being told that love is forbidden and you cant fall in love at your teenage years. That to me is something that is somewhat unrealistic, because at the teen years you first encounter feelings for the opposite sex. I think the best advice I can give is that if you have feelings for someone or feel like you are experiencing love, ask God for help. That is going to be the first place to go for guidance. Don't make the mistakes however of thinking your feelings are what define love, because they don't. Love takes time; it happens when you are getting to know someone little by little. It's not about knowing EVERYTHING about that person, but knowing them as to how the react to the things around them, how they talk to you when you are alone, how they see the world around them. Love is, especially at your age of 19, something that you most likely wont find yet. Some teens are too immature still to be able to seriously comprehend love's responsibilities and decisions. Lots of hearts get broken early in youth when someone loves and find out it wasnt love at all, or if it supposedly was then they hate love the rest of their lives. But anyway, if your parents or elders are telling you that you are not allowed to be in a relationship at your age, then maybe it's best t ogo along with what they are saying so you dont get in trouble. However, that doesn't mean that inside you wont feel something for someone yet, because you probably will. If that happens, keep it inside and give it to God. Dont go also to the point of creating lust or desire in yourself because that will turn into sin. That's why you need to give it to God and let Him decide your love life, because if you take control and choose to do what YOU want, its going to end up ugly. Therefore, dont give in to emotions, but obey your authrorities as confusing as they may be, but understand in your heart how to deal with those feelings through prayer and devotion to God, and He will give you the best love life you can have when He feels the time is right. Hope that helps :)
 
Member
I don't think being a Christian prohibits you falling in love at any age! Love between a man and a woman is one of the most beautiful gifts He has given us on this earth. Maybe your Elders are concerned that being so young you may rush in, listening to your hormones and body rather than what God has planned for you.
If in all things, matters of the heart, or otherwise, you ask for God's guidence and direction and wait for him to show you the right thing to do, things will fall into place at the right time.
I was engaged to a Christian girl when I was 17. She broke it off a few years later and I was gutted. Why have you done this God? Was my angry and bitter cry. Over the next couple of years God moved me from my church (where I was happy) to a church I didn't like at all. Why? Because my wife was a worship leader in that church and He wanted me to meet her. 12 years and 3 children later I can see His ways were right and I thank God that he directed me in ways (at the time) I didn't want to go.
If you are single at the moment it may be a good idea to spend time in study and prayer asking God to prepare you ready to meet the person He has chosen for you. I know of many Christians who have prayed for their God chosen partner before they have even met them. Many years later it often turns out that that person was in a difficult place at the very time their unknown loved-one offered up those prayers.
God moves in ways we cannot see or understand and delights to bless us with all good things.
 
Member
Hello, I know that there is a man for me to marry out there. I need to be still for the Lord and wait upon His timeing. I have been married twice and I am afraid to marry again. However, I have been divorced for over 10 years. I have become a woman of God and cannot in good conscience love a man who is not in LOVE with Jesus. Blessings Kathy
 
Member
it not ur fault that u fall inlove. love by it slef has lots of meaning but basically its ur emotional feeling towards something or someone so i dont see how it is wrong to fall inlove. at ur age i believe u know what is right or wrong so if u falling inlove for thewrong motives then i urge u not to but if it a true love feeling well it a blessing and u shld be happy that u found ur love match. pray to god for this and u will see an opening to wat is right
 
Member
Well, first of all, does what your elders tell you match up w/ what the Bible says? No. Nowhere does it say that you can't fall in love at an early age. My parents married at 19 and they are still going strong and love each other dearly. I would call into question your elders' motives. Poppycock! That's what I have to say, poppycock! Don't get bent out of shape because of what humans say to you. Always, always, ALWAYS, check w/ the Bible when someone says you should or shouldn't do or feel something.
 
Member
I am brand new to the site, and I couldn't help but notice this post, even though it was posted a couple of months ago. Here is my story.....

I met my husband in a Christian Chat room when I was just 16/17. We talked online and on the phone quite extensively over the next two years, and the summer after I graduated HS, I flew out to meet him. We hit it off so well, he didn't let me fly home, he drove me all the way home! We have been inseparable ever since. We got married when I was 19, and he was 24, and we will be celebrating our 4 year wedding anniversary this coming February 23rd. All I have to say is that God works in wonderous ways, and it is all in His plan when He wants things to happen. So, always listen to what you feel in your heart God is telling you. He won't ever steer you wrong :)
 
Member
u will fall in lovew at the right time, falling inlove is dangerous, u have to be sure its with the right person.Fall in love first with God, and when u fall in love with a human u will know how to handle it, without offending God.Cares!
 
Member
Fall in love with God first

God love u, so do the elders , u will fall in love when u see the right one, first i think u need to fall in love with God first, then HE will direct ur falling in love with the right person, falling in love is one thing, staying in love another.
Dont worry, God is taking u there gradually.He cares so do i :thumbs_up Blessyn
 
Member
Let GOD be your guide and not man nevender.

Pro 16:9 A man may make designs for his way, but the Lord is the guide of his steps.

 
Member
God'sbaby said:
God love u, so do the elders , u will fall in love when u see the right one, first i think u need to fall in love with God first, then HE will direct ur falling in love with the right person, falling in love is one thing, staying in love another.
Dont worry, God is taking u there gradually.He cares so do i :thumbs_up Blessyn
I will definately not differentiate love that transpires in a man and woman relationship and the Agape love of God.The bible in the first epistle of John tells us that God is love,and that love we all know was sacrificial he had to give all he had to prove the evidence of His love for us.Yeah,love has got evidence 1 corinthians 13:1-8,I want to believe that it is also the same love that transpires b/t man and woman.Eph5:25,tells the man to love his wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself,I reckon the first lesson to learn is that this kind of love grows with knowledge,and if knowledge is involve it means time is necessary and experience,i don't think we can seperate christian maturity and falling in love that leads to marraige.Most times the teenage love experiences are merely youthful exubberance and wades off after a while or through a storm same to an unbeliever.
 
Administrator
Staff Member
Coconut said:
Let GOD be your guide and not man nevender.

Pro 16:9 A man may make designs for his way, but the Lord is the guide of his steps.
My words the same :)

God has everything already planned out for everyone, so long as they are obedient (they = us).

Its important to be patient with GOD when it comes with love specifically. I had to learn that somewhat the hard way.
 
Member
thats is so true thats my problem every time I mention jesus they run away why doesn't anyman in australia have compassion or faith i can't find any either your not alone
 
Member
rimes1 said:
thats is so true thats my problem every time I mention jesus they run away why doesn't anyman in australia have compassion or faith i can't find any either your not alone
Rimes1: Nevender's first post was in November, 2004 when she said she was 19 years old. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect that you are in that same age range (late teens/ early twenties).

I think Chad gave you a word straight from God in his post. And the word is "Be patient!"

I'm not so old that I'm not aware of the social pressure young ladies feel when they don't have a boyfriend by a certain age. Modern western society says that there must be something wrong with you if you don't at least have at least a steady boyfriend by the time you are 20 yrs old or so.

Remember, though, that those "guidlines" came from a society that told us that sexual promiscuity is o.k. ("If it feels good, do it!") and told us that women have the right to kill the baby in their womb for most any reason and that she doesn't have to notify the father , which means she is not accountable to anyone on earth for the decision.

If you focus on growing up in your relationship with Jesus and learning from his Word, you will come to find your self respect there instead of in the opinions of people.

Keep in mind, as you read the following Scripture citation, that the biblical definition of hope is "steadfast expectation.":

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Is 40:29-31).
 
Member
talk

human beings on a whole thrive on relationships, no matter how dysfunctional that relationship may be we all need it. it can be seen as a prerequisite for being happy.

the amazing thing is that we sometimes forget how we needed those things when we are old. the only advice i'll give you is to talk to God, because although you nay think that these people are wrong they do have some level of wisdom that we as young people have yet to attain. ofcourse that does not mean that everything they say is right. my friend u need to talk to God and then talk to them.

never lose your joy:note: :love:
 
Member
love will find you - God will guide you.No human has the right to control you.Trust in the Lord and all will be well.Love is a wonderful gift. May He always be with you. Amen.
 

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