hi there re. bullying in the past haunts me sometimes

[nzdaughter]

i am so peaceful and contented with myself right now, however i was far from that two to five years ago. it might seem like i'm living in the past - but wow the pain I experienced emotionally after being a target of focused bullying five years ago was something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. i cannot stress that enough....
so was wondering: I wouldn't be able to get a little bit of prayer for my past bullying problem? about five years ago i was harassed really bad, so vicious, so bad - mainly including targeted harassment/criticism/blame/shame/picking on/humilation in front of everyone else/directed verbal abuse on a daily basis, etc - I experienced post traumatic problems -an acute form of it.
however, since avoiding similar situations and taking a completely different career path - and seeking prayer from a church leader - it has now abated. that was not without me going through the motions for a few long years, such as fighting major feelings of retaliation, revenge, anger, hatred, feeling of unjust treatment, resulting in major depression, constant crying eyes, and even a brief flirtation with 'ideation' relating to 'ending it all' for the good of everybody. I'm a naturally confident person but my mind had become battered in a way that I felt that worthless from the bullying.
praise God I have come through alive. whats concerting to me now, however, is that when i was experiencing acute pain mentally from the hurt in my head, I took it out on my brother and hurt his mind too and I think i gave him some milder traumatic syndrome too. please can you pray for total healing emotionally for him and me, and also that I can forgive and move on - and that includes forgiving myself. i really appreciate that.
thank you so much... i haven't received collective prayer for this experience of deep pain before and feel very privileged that I have the Lord to call on who restores all. Thank you Lord for looking after me so that I got through it all. :embarasse

 

[Fragrant Grace]

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
He telleth the number of the stars; He calleth them all by their names. Great is our Lord, and of great power: His understanding is infinite.
Psalm 147:3-5

Holding you before the throne of grace dear sister
Knowing He knows all things

Bless you

Thou tellest my wanderings: put Thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in Thy book?
Psalm 56:8

 

[nzdaughter]

Bless you, lovely....thank you so much
<3

 

[Brad Huber]

Saying a prayer for you and your brother! Remember that God doesnt intend for you to be a punching bag for others though, either physically or verbally. Stand up for yourself without losing your temper and you will have achieved mastery of the mouth, and that is a very good thing.

 

[amadeus2]

I am joining in prayer here also that God may bring about complete healing for you and all that were adversely impacted.

 

[steflou64]

I was bullied severly by a jealous female supervisor in 1983 when I was 19. I had an anorexia nervosa, experienced post traumatic stress syndrome, etc. It has taken years to overcome this. I was told when you are a christian Jesus writes his name in blood on your forehead and it gets the demons in unsaved people stirred up-you don't have to do anything for them to dislike you! I will pray for your and my total recovery from these bullying episodes my dear sister but remember now matter how severly we wer mistreated we must forgive and pray for the person-does not mean we have to associate with them-we don't want to go to hell for unforgiveness!

 

[nzdaughter]

Thank you everyone, I appreciate and heed your valuable words, and thank you Lord Jesus! Happy New Year all

 

[nzdaughter]

(Note: This post is about spiritual forces, lol!) hi i won't get into (too many) any details here if I can help it lol, but I feel so triumphant and free in the Lord as I've just done self-deliverance prayers from these spirits that have been working against me since I was around age 18 (I'm now 36): victim spirit (basically, we're talking about some kind of spiritual harassment/bullying 'bulls-eye target' over me for the last 20 years whenever i'm in ANY groups of people, but i've survived lol); trauma (from my worst harassment attack a few years ago which even led to PTSD for the first time, projecting it onto innocent family members, and even flirtations with suicidal 'ideation' - though of course, not action) and grief/depression/self pity/revenge/unforgiveness; confusion (mind control, distraction, my mind basically goes away with the fairies, obsessions, etc...which I can see was transferred to me from a soul tie); adrenal and chronic fatigue (linked to DNA and health issues as well as conflict and depression); and lastly deaf, 'dumb', mute spirit (namely, my 10 year long flu infection with otitis media has been healed thank you Lord, which often left me deaf in my ears, and my selective mutism problem (which I even had yesterday in class) where I cannot even say my name in groups (possibly also related to cowardly or timid spirits) and cannot answer immediately when prompted, plus the speech disorder which I got after experiencing side effects of hormone medication at 21. Thanks and that is all I have to say lol. I just wanted to share my newfound freedom in The Lord against these bondage and ungoldy spirits, as I don't want to be hindered in doing The Lord's work in my own life as well as in others. Hallelujah! (Thanks, that's all the point of my last post is here, to declare freedom from demonic spirits as named above, lol, as long as you guys don't think I'm weird or anything... I always knew the bullying thing was spiritual as it seemed to follow me, even with strangers, lol!) but I am so happy to also seek the Lord's healing for my physical health problems as well as healing for my soul. Amen.

 

[nzdaughter]

sorry! quick addition to my post: I forgot to look also at myself lol - in terms of\: my intense following of the occult from around age 15 to 29 (desire for power, knowledge etc), and sadly - pride! lol its been so so bad, haughtiness.

Ok that should be all of it then.... I know i'm a difficult case, lol. Joking.... not with the Lord Jesus - who delivers and heals.

my mum stopped listening to me rave on years ago, lol. i now realize how I must sound to others...I'm embarrassed to share all this, but i want to put it to bed for once. I thank you all so much for listening to my drivel lol, but also to my triumph in God. I'm glad its out of my system now.... and that should be the last time I ever talk about it all to you lovely people here at TalkJesus. Amen.

 

[Fragrant Grace]

Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of His knowledge by us in every place.
2 Corinthians 2:14

@nzdaughter

Thank you for sharing dear sister.
Hallelujah Praise the Lord.

Keep looking to Jesus....He will never ever fail you

...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.
Romans 8:37

 

[marketing_kid]

Dear sister,

nzdaughter, please know that you are not alone. I was bullied from the time I entered elementary until later in my High School years. I was picked on because I had plump cheeks; If the day was right, I was picked on because I was smart and eliminated the need for a "curve"; I was picked on because I was a bit chubby when I was younger. Anything you can imagine, I was picked on and humiliated for. What didn't make the situation better was I always fought back. I always felt as David, I had to take on Goliath and I usually lost horribly. Years later I still suffer setbacks at times, especially with self esteem. God has picked me up a long way, from lows I've never wanted to return too. Please know that I'll be your prayer warrior, you have my word.

I hope things situate and I honestly can say you've picked a very great location to speak your truth because this community is definitely a helping one! With much love my sister, please take care! Don't be afraid to ask for help.

marketing_kid