Help me be straight!

[lookin4truth]

Hello. I'm new here but I've been saved since I was like 10 or so. I'm 22 now and I've been in the church all my life. My father and mother are both officials in the church and I am very faithful also. I sometimes struggle with certain interpretations of the Bible and I often doubt if God is really speaking to me. But I love God with all my heart. There is no doubt in my mind about His existence and I know He loves me. Now to my problem....

I think I might be gay. I have always had homosexual thoughts and feelings in my past but I always shrugged them off without even thinking about where they were coming from. I am sexually attracted to men but I have no sexual attraction to women at all. I understand that many women are beautiful and have a few celebrity crushes but I can't see myself wanting to have sex with them. I am a virgin, I've never kissed or even touched another soul. I've never dated or even asked anyone out (mostly due to my sheltered childhood and fear of rejection and low confidence). I remember as a child trying to fit in with the guy-crowd but I never have. I struggled hard to adapt and be as many as I could be (even though I am masculin, I never felt like I was masculin enough).

I was asexual for the first few teenage years. I ended up denying any and all attraction I felt towards anybody after that. I am a family man and always imagined myself marrying the most beautiful woman and raising the cutest children together. But I can't see that happening now.

I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life; but most importantly, I want God to be pleased with me. Can anyone help, I'm desperate but I feel to ashamed and afraid to talk to my parents about it beacause I feel like I would be letting them down and I especially don't need the family dynamic disrupted because of my own personal issues. Thanks in advance!

 

[faithfulservant]

First and foremost, I want to commend you for reaching out to other Christians. God loves you so much, He sees your struggles and He has the solution. For one thing, i would stop identifying yourself as "gay." You're a child of God, you're a Christian, you're a disciple of Jesus, you're an overcomer. You have a measure of authority in your own life to declare what you are, so stop labeling yourself something that God has not labeled you. Your identity is clearly defined within the pages of the Bible.

Additionally, I believe there are many spiritual forces that work in our lives to draw us away from God's ways. Don't take this the wrong way, because we've all done what I'm about to say you've likely done. But, there are likely open doors you, yourself, have opened to let in foul spiritual forces to harass you and inundate you with thoughts that are built around same-sex attraction. If you submit yourself to the examination of the Holy Spirit and spend the next 30 days seeking His face and asking for Him to help you find these doors so you can confess them, renounce and repent of them, and close them, He will help you. It may have been as simple as seeing something charismatic about a godly man you looked up to, and some demonic force attempted to take that to a place it should not have gone in your mind. When this happens, and we don't take the thought captive, we open a door.

So, from here on out, when the temptations come to indulge those thoughts, take them captive immediately. Ask for Jesus to give you strength to overcome the temptations and begin to allow Him to utterly break the stronghold of same-sex attraction that's in you. He will set you free if you want Him to.

One more thing I would advise, consider the scriptures how God made us to be with a woman. It's not good for man to be alone, and for more reasons than he would likely eat pizza every night and never scrub the toilet properly (though that happens often enough in our world). God likely has a ministry partner for you who will thrill you to no end and will help you develop a healthy opposite sex attraction. Start praying for the Lord to prepare your heart for this woman and place you in the position to be able to establish a relationship with her.

Some people have been given the gift of celibacy, but since you struggle with same-sex sexual attraction, it's my assumption you have not received that gift. Since you don't want Satan to tempt you, submit yourself to the Lord to bring the right woman into your life. She will be perfect for someone with your background, so don't fret. She will understand all your struggles and will know just how to help you into a godly relationship.

 

[faithfulservant]

Also, I don't think God is unhappy with you because you've struggled in your heart about this. I think if you indulged it in the flesh, that would grieve His heart. I think He is immensely proud that you came here to ask for advice. I also believe He is going to give you the strength to get over these same-sex attractions and move yourself into a healthy relationship with a woman.

But... Don't do it to please parents or fulfill some ideal. Do it because it's God's perfect will for you.

Also... If God brought the perfect woman for you into your life, and she wasn't the knock-out you have in mind, would you still embrace her? God knows the perfect woman for you, but that perfect woman may not fit our perfect ideal in our mind. But we're fallible, and God isn't. You can trust Him. Go to Jesus!

 

[lookin4truth]

Thanks for the reply!

I will start and spend these next 30 days like you said in seeking God and staying away from any and everything that is homosexual in nature. But there is still the issue of not having sexual attraction to women. I've never had this attraction and I'm not even sure if I have this attraction in me anywhere. Also, can you use biblical scriptures to help me see and study for myself? Thanks again

 

[SpiritLedEd]

LookinForTruth: Spiritual growth is not a smooth, wide highway (see Mt 7:13-14). All men, myself included, struggle with homosexual thinking as we work through the insecurities of youth; remember, you're only twenty years old. I'm not disrespecting your age, but I am saying that, if you're like I was at twenty, you're not as mature as you think you're supposed to be. Give yourself time to grow spiritually and emotionally and, as Faithful Servant said, stop tagging yourself as "gay".

SLE

 

[faithfulservant]

[h=2]God’s Plan for Marriage


Genesis 1:27-28 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”


Bible Verses About Marriage


Genesis 2:21-25 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.


Malachi 2:14,15 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.


1 Corinthians 7:2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.


Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.


Children Given for Marriage


Genesis 29:22,23 So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her.


Judges 1:12 And Caleb said, “He who attacks Kiriath-sepher and captures it, I will give him Achsah my daughter for a wife.” And Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb’s younger brother, captured it. And he gave him Achsah his daughter for a wife.


1 Samuel 17:25 And the men of Israel said, “Have you seen this man who has come up? Surely he has come up to defy Israel. And the king will enrich the man who kills him with great riches and will give him his daughter and make his father’s house free in Israel.”


1 Samuel 18:20,21 Now Saul’s daughter Michal loved David. And they told Saul, and the thing pleased him. Saul thought, “Let me give her to him, that she may be a snare for him and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” Therefore Saul said to David a second time, “You shall now be my son-in-law.”


Popular Bible Marriages/Weddings


Genesis 24:67 Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.


1 Samuel 25:40-42 When the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel, they said to her, “David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife.” And she rose and bowed with her face to the ground and said, “Behold, your handmaid is a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.” And Abigail hurried and rose and mounted a donkey, and her five young women attended her. She followed the messengers of David and became his wife.


Ruth 4:13 So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son.


Esther 2:16-18 And when Esther was taken to King Ahasuerus, into his royal palace, in the tenth month, which is the month of Tebeth, in the seventh year of his reign, the king loved Esther more than all the women, and she won grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins, so that he set the royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. Then the king gave a great feast for all his officials and servants; it was Esther’s feast. He also granted a remission of taxes to the provinces and gave gifts with royal generosity.


Luke 2:4,5 (KJV) And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.


John 2:1,2 On the third day there was a wedding at Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples.


What the Earthly Marriage Symbolizes


Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.


Ephesians 5:23,24,32 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.


Revelation 19:7-9 Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure”— for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”


Revelation 21:9-14 Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.”And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. It had a great, high wall, with twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and on the gates the names of the twelve tribes of the sons of Israel were inscribed—on the east three gates, on the north three gates, on the south three gates, and on the west three gates. And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and on them were the twelve names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.






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[Rev T.S.Perkins]

Just thought I'd add no shame in feeling tempted , it's what the dog does ! The sin is in acting on it and giving in to flesh . Also let me assure you God loves you very much ! And knows you're battles and is willing to help you over come any and all battles you face BIG OR SMALL , Also it's not about sexual attraction , did that ain't even got the shirt left ...lol when that feeling wore off i found myself in a bad realationship with a cheating mate , more than once ...! look to God and to a woman's Heart first the rest works its self out , my wife by worldly standerds may not not be a raving beauty but she is a vision to me ! She isGods gift as it was intended , her heart is towards God first and me second as it should be . Glad to see you here ! Don't seperate you're self from the flock it make you wolf bait ! The fellowship here is an invaluable source of incouragement and faith ...may you be comforted by The Lord in these things ....Rev

 

[lookin4truth]

Thanks everyone for the responses. So I have a question regarding the book of Leviticus. How come we condemn the abomination of homosexuality but allow other things to slide by that is also stated to be abominations to God in this book? I'm just confused about how we can target the subject of homosexuality but ignore the others. Thanks for your answers in advance!

 

[faithfulservant]

Thanks everyone for the responses. So I have a question regarding the book of Leviticus. How come we condemn the abomination of homosexuality but allow other things to slide by that is also stated to be abominations to God in this book? I'm just confused about how we can target the subject of homosexuality but ignore the others. Thanks for your answers in advance!

Sin doesn't "slide by" God's eyes. Those who are submitted to Him become transformed as they walk with Him. Christianity isn't about us deciding what morality is. It's submitting to a holy God and allowing Him to change us.

More to your question, there are a bunch of sins which if people practice them disqualify them from the Kingdom of God and homosexuality is just one of them.

1 Cor. 6
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

If we look at this list, we can see that those who practice any kind of sex outside of marriage, adulterers, those who practice idolatry of other gods, drunks, people who live for telling people off, people with amoral business practices, thieves, and homosexuals are all disqualified.

I used to be have sex outside of marriage before I knew Jesus. I was an adulterer, too, as I once carried out an affair with a married woman. I used to get smashed drunk all the time and act like a foolish person. It was my badge of honor that I used to tell people off really, really well. They called me the "Bridge-Burner" because I was so good at it. I used to justify petty theft of office goods, too. I would work deals that were unjust when buying and selling. When I came to understand God's ways, I put away such behavior by the power of His Spirit and you can, too.

 

[SpiritLedEd]

Sin doesn't "slide by" God's eyes. Those who are submitted to Him become transformed as they walk with Him. Christianity isn't about us deciding what morality is. It's submitting to a holy God and allowing Him to change us.

Lookin4Truth: In this sentence FaithfulServant has given you all you need for now in your walk with Jesus. Take it easy. Use baby steps. You're an infant when it comes to spiritual growth. Lay aside your perfectionism and patiently allow Jesus' Spirit to guide you as you develop as a Christ follower.

SLE