Hello everyone I was raised in churches in ky, that spent more time begging for money than they did anything. I still learnt scriptures here and there but never completely got it all. I grew up running around fullfilling my own selfish pleasures and thinking of no one but myself. Finally at the age of 40 I realized the importance of God and my family and started going to church regularly and reading the bible. I am a single father of two young daughters that i love with all my heart. Unfortunately i could never understand anything in the bible and tried many. The church I attend was very big and promising I thought and I really loved it. I did everything I could to get right with God but never felt anything. I know I have very low self esteem and unable to forgive people that have hurt me greatly, I find myself so depressed and hoping God could please help me and show me the way. I am also very scared about joining the wrong church or listening to the wrong people, and not being able to understand the bible really scares me cause i cant do it alone.