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Has god made someone just for me?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Kuwabarra, Sep 6, 2014.

  1. I know I have lots of work to do in building my relationship with god before I try to build a marriage. As I am recently turning back to god. I rebelled, and turned away. That will go into another topic though.

    I'm just curious if there's a specific person out there meant for me, and I meant for her? Or is it just anybody who is also a christian, and the two people love each other? Other words do I have a soul mate, or is it just another person who is right for me?

    Like I said I know I must build my relationship with god first though. I'm just curious.
     
  2. As far as I know God has a soul mate. The way He brings it around though is different for everyone. An eg about the both Christian and love each other, I have a childhood Christian friend, and we do love each other but as friends. It doesn't mean he is my soul mate. It could work that way for someone else. Above all I know we must ask God for direction.
    I've heard testimonies of people meeting unbelievers, and leading them to God and then getting married.(take extra caution there though, it doesn't apply to everyone, probably that was God's plan for them. So the point is to seek God's plan for us.- I've not always done it and did a lot of mistakes, but this it what I've learned. God has something special for each of us.
    What I'm trying to say is it could be other person Christian and both loving each other, but then that would mean that this person was to be your soul mate all long. Or at least that's how I get it.
     
  3. I get what you're saying. I feel like I've never been lonelier than here lately. I'm trying my best to do everything right, and what god will have me do. I'm just waiting on what that is, and my soul mate. I need a job, and god has put a lot of stuff on me, a lot of emotions back into my life, and blessed me with a lot of knowledge and understanding since I've turned back to god. Thanks for your post. Thank you god. I'm so grateful.
     
  4. It's great that you appreciate God's gifts to you. One of those is Christ's company. The Holy Spirit's comforting. This is a chance to draw as closer to God as you've ever been before. Only that will soothe your heart. Pray and ask God to fill you with His presence, for Him to be your companion. God loves us and wants only what's best for us.
    I'm sure He will bring a job your way soon. Don't lose faith and trust. Just make sure to cling on God like never before. Don't neglect reading His word and attending church as well as having fellowship with the brethren. All these help a lot.
    Besides, God himself said that it is not good for man to be alone. He's got you covered. :)
    P.S. Don't try too hard...allow God's grace to see you through. Sometimes we put our own effort to do only what the Spirit of God can do in and through us. God needs submission of our will. Not back pain :p -joke there-
    God bless!
     
  5. I will admit that I asked God that in prayer recently. He told me that there were several reasons I had not met the one meant for me. The main one being that neither of us were ready and we both had several important things to learn and things to do before we met.

    He also brought to mind Luke 3:8. He reassured me that if He really wanted me to find someone that He would literally bring them to me.

    As I can speak a bit from experience, loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling. Many churches have little get-to-gethers. Potlucks or bible studies. I have found that being with other Christians, especially when they are focused on God, can greatly reduce loneliness.

    There is a time for everything, wait with patience, God always provides.
     
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  6. Hi, I don't see any reason to believe that of the 8 billion people in the world there is just one who God has set aside as a perfect match for you and you for them. And I'm not sure that it's a very helpful starting point for finding a partner either. Too much pressure.

    Sorry to hear about the lack of work and the loneliness that goes with it. Praying that all will slot into place at the right time for you.
     
  7. I am not sure if there is just one person right for each person.
    The bible lays out a couple of rules, such as your partner must be a believer (2 Cor.6:14-16). The bible also adds some helpful advice like avoiding men who are hotheaded and rekcless (Prov.14:16) and to avoid women who are quarrelsome (Prov.19:13), among many other helpful tips for an easier relationship.

    Within the rules one is free to choose, using the advice to have an easier marriage. But even like friends or other members of your church, it may be easier to get along with some people than others. That is what many of us are praying for, to find one who would be much easier to get a long with and be a better match than the others, for a smoother marriage that is less likely to end in sadness and one wishing that they had never married in the first place.

    Thank you for your prayers, they are appreciated.
     
  8. #8 Rev T.S.Perkins, Nov 10, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2014
    Good monday morning to you ..yes God has set forth male and female according to His word...in all of the six days it took the Lord to speak this world into existance He said it was Good ..but when He created man He said its not good man should be alone and created woman .....there is a mate for you just wait on the lord and pray youre ready for His blessings ...Rev Dooley
     
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  9. Truthfully, God providing the ideal mate for us is an academic point as some remain single throughout their lives. Don't lose hope, but don't let it consume you. Adam was lonely after seeing the animals with mates, but he had no choice. His wish was granted, but consequences came with it and some were his own doing.
     
  10. I know I should be thank full for my testimony and relationship with are good lord but I do prey a lot that now at 30 I could settle down and marry a nice lady I don't know if it is because of my aspergers or the Lord simply doesn't think it is my time yet
     
    Sent from an iPad
  11. Chad had recently posted a very nice audio sermon about finding a mate - http://www.talkjesus.com/threads/finding-the-right-mate.54055/

    Quite interesting. When I think about it, if I had found a husband back in 2014 when I posted here, I likely would not be where I am at in my faith and participation in the church.
    I decided long ago to leave it in God's hands and simply follow Him whereever He leads me. He has His own plans and His own timeline. I am willing to wait for His time.

    Look at Abraham, he was 75 years old when he was first promised a child. When he was 100 he finally had Isaac - 25 years later. Interestingly, he tried to take matters into his own hands by having Ishmael with Hagar. This attempt to control their own path undoubtedly caused Abraham and Sarah heartache down the road.

    Is it a lonely path while waiting? Yes.
    Am I sometimes jealous of some other couples and the love & friendship between them, while wishing I had that? Yes, but I lean upon God and the church. He has His own plan for me, and I am positive that it is better than any plan I could attempt to make for myself.
    Although it is sometimes hard to wait for the unknown, I will wait.

    "His oath, His covenant, His blood,
    Support me in the raging flood;
    When every earthly prop gives way,
    This still is all my strength and stay."
    Charles Spurgeon
     
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  12. Would you have steak everyday? No?? Why not? because I would wish for a change in eating! YEP! Many people believe there is one person in the entire world just for them! After being married for about 5 years ask them then!! LOL SOME will say i love my mate as much, or even more then I did when I married them.Sure there are exceptions! But in reality, few would say this!

    What is true for most,is how and why there mindset has changed over the years concerning there mate? Flesh is never happy for long! it wishes to go beyond the usual,it looks to explore other waters,for whatever reason it gives the mind to do so! Flesh loves excuses! And if entertained long enough in ones mindset, you will follow its feeling and its temptation,because you get bored!! LOL

    For me to ever say there is one woman I would spend the rest of my life with?? I mean really? WHO?? What is the purpose of getting married in the first place? Because you say you love another? Or is the real reason one wishes to marry is more out of fear, then love? I am afraid to be alone.Now we are getting somewhere!! LOL And so what really happens is that two people marry each other out of so called love,when it is really fear,and that fear over the years takes its toll on you, and as you mature,you realize what you have been missing by not staying single!

    Because now you have a family,and you got stuck! Now you feel trapped by the fear you first had, and wish to become free again. So now what? Having never married myself at 62 i have seen so many couples going through what I just described! So what is the point to follow after what in most cases leads to divorce? 70 percent of the time!! That is a huge percentage!

    I wish renting was allowed in scriptures,but it is not! But that perhaps is why Jesus said this!( Matt 19:10-12) It is a tough call for me to say! However, I did wish to present you with some truth to the matter, that I myself have learned from so many unhappy couples! i know there are exceptions to this as well!! But VERY FEW! So if someone would like to give an opposite view, I sure can learn! i just am a realist.
     
  13. If you wish a more historical standpoint, look into the Bible. Many marriages were arranged marriages, sometimes where the bride and groom had never even seen one another before meeting. They made it work.

    There is an odd misconception in North American culture currently, where people seem to think that when you get married you are handed a box full of happiness. In reality, you are handed an empty box that is labelled happiness and both people have to put something into it to fill it.

    Relationships, whether common friendships or marriages, require constant work and attention.
    In some ways, it is a lot like buying a new unfurnished house. If nothing is done with it, it will get run down and shabby. If both people spend some time every week cleaning, fixing and maintaining it then it will be worth more than when it was bought.

    There are dozens of psychology reports and lectures out there on happiness inside of marriage and why they may fail. Yes, and one of the big reasons in several of the ones I read was boredom or a refusal to compromise. Oh, and the human mind is excellent at obsessing over small details and creating excuses (I think most of us can agree with that one, even if we refuse to give in to the excuses) ;).

    I always wondered how the people back then didn't get bored, since there wasn't much in the way of recreation and women were considered second class citizens.

    Many people also consider divorce to be their "back up plan" if things don't "go smoothly" - I even heard one couple before the wedding saying, "well, if it doesn't work out we will just get a divorce". They didn't even think to attempt to get help from God, the church, or anyone else. It is one of those "my way or the highway" mindsets that seems to be more prevalent in North America - yet this is not a mindset wants us to take. "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2). This verse also applies when the devil digs potholes in the road, or even if you happen to end up going off-roading. The Bible can guide you back to smooth pavement.

    Would I want to eat steak everyday? No, I am not that fond of steak actually. But consider the situation if it were a child instead of spouse. How many parents have you heard say, "that child never cleans up after him/her self - we should put him/her up for adoption"? I have heard several people complain at how messy their spouse was, when their children created far more mess. We forgive the child while never considering "getting rid of them", can we not forgive our spouse?
     
  14. Forgiveness has always been,and will always become a choice.( John 20:23) And from the choice we make, consequences are also a reward of that choice.( Col 3:25) Can we live with this? Hence the choice we decide on making should have no repentance to it. if it does,then we did not pray about it enough,or consider it enough.Jesus decided for all of us,to not remember sin.( Psalm 103:7-17) His choice!

    Do we follow after him in this for all people? The correct answer would be yes,but in reality in many cases the answer is also no.Can we live with that flaw? It is not about some greasy grace many look to in times like this! Grace does not slide,grace instructs!( Titus 2:1-2)

    Grace gives enough room to all people to understand its instruction. And should,i say should grow in each of us daily!( 2 Peter 3:18) We are a work in progress yes!( Phil 1:6) Hence why my words now as well as my deeds need constant examination!( 2 Cor 13:5)

    I do not tell others what to do,but rather only to consider one's words and actions,for in doing them,one can never take them back!Reality deals with what is real in our lives,not upon a dream of how we wished things to become.The sooner we keep this treasure in our mindset,the more grace we can bestow upon others,because we understand just how much grace we need our self!

    So the real question becomes,do we believe HIS grace in more then sufficient for us?( 2 Cor 12:9-10)Our fruit tells on us. Having this foundation can lead to a meaningful relationship from birth right unto death! Hence what love is suppose to become.But when we fail,or another fails us,does our view on this matter change? It can! Do we learn from our mistakes,or rather blame others for the mistake? Another choice! From the outcome, we are what we are by his very grace!( 1 Cor 15:10-11)

    The ability to give ones own love to another lies very much upon the grace one has in that love.( Cor 9:8) Not just in money,but in life itself! This is the crossroads i have come to in my own life.Where I choose to go from here, cannot be repented of, nor done over. Hence why I have yet to take a wife.This is not to encourage others not to do the same!!! This is just something one can consider before one GIVES one's own life to another! hope this helps c_scherer123
     
  15. Thanks for asking Kuwabarra, great question.

    Excellent, excellent, points c_scherer123 , "There is an odd misconception in North American culture currently, where people seem to think that when you get married you are handed a box full of happiness. In reality, you are handed an empty box that is labelled happiness and both people have to put something into it to fill it."

    I have wondered this same thing earlier in my life Kuwabarra. I am currently 34.

    This might seem like a cope out answer but, I think this is the truth.
    I think our focus should not be on that question, because
    that question in itself can bring up a lot of anxiety.

    The Bible teaches us that God has plans for us, and His plans are good.
    (Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." )
    For some of us marriage is in those plans, and for others marriage is not.
    (Mathew 19:12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others--and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.")

    The danger with focusing on the right person that God has for you, (as He does have a plan for you) is that at times we build this
    imagine of who we think that perfect match is, and we often may shun the one that God really has because they don't fit that profile. Remember when God instructed someone to marry a prostitue? Someone with the idea that God has someone for them, may be weary of doing so because they wouldn't believe that God would have them ("a virgin") marry a sinful woman with whom they are clearly unevenly yoked.The the passage reads are follows (Hosea 1:2 When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, "Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the LORD.")
    Remember David and Goliath? God had a person in mind to defeat Goliath, it was David, but when the King was looking for a warrior
    David didn't fit the profile and could have easily been discounted to even try because David did not fit the profile of who God would use.

    The same with Paul, who was previously Saul. Paul was chosen while in his mother's womb. Paul said:
    ( Galatians 1;15, "But when God, who set me apart from my mother's womb and called me by his grace, was pleased").
    When the disciples saw Paul, He didn't fit the profile of an apostle because he was knew for killing Christians. This lead them
    to be apprehensive to embrace him and welcome him because He did not fit the picture they had in their mind.

    Now, I am not saying that God does not have one person for you. I repeat
    I am not saying that God does not have one person for you, I repeat
    I am not saying that God does not have one person for you.


    What I am saying is that you should not focus on this too much as it may force you to
    have a particular image of who this person is and make it hard for you to truly be open
    to who God really has for you.

    On the other side of the fence, there is a danger in thinking that our Heavenly Father
    who knows even the numbers of hairs on our head, wouldn't be concerned about something
    as important as marriage. For the person who feels there is no one specifically for them, they
    may more prone to jump into relationships quickly, thinking that it is just a matter
    or commitment and love. Somewhat of a bad example but, Abraham and Sara's lack
    of patience to wait on God lead them led to Abraham go into another women who God
    did not have for Him. I believe if ones focus is that God does not have a specific person for
    me, even if they are right, will likely lead to an attitude of jumping into relationships whereas
    someone who believes God has one person for them would likely have more patience to
    wait and build their character and relationship with God before just jumping to a marriage.

    Also I can't over emphasize this. Marriage is not about happiness, it is about Holiness.
    Marriage is the first institution, even before the institution of the family. Before Cain and
    Abel, there were Adam and Eve (marriage). As God said, "Let us create man in our own
    image." as the purpose was for us to reflect God's glory. The happiness is a byproduct
    of the Holiness. But after sin, we have two unholy people, seeking to be happy first
    instead of holy first, in a relationship called marriage. So as C-scherer123 so beautifully
    said, we start taking from the other spouse looking to fulfill some need of being happy.
    But if we work on getting closer to God and being Holy, we can be a blessing to
    others. Marriage is about Holiness not happiness. Many people go into marriage
    thinking it will make them happy, and if you are miserable before marriage marriage
    will not make it better, it will just be worst as now you are miserable and expecting the
    other person to make your miserable self happy.
    [​IMG]

    So I think scripture clearly shows that God has a plan for you. This plan may include
    marriage or it may not. If the plan does include marriage, then God has a plan for who
    He wants you to marry, even if a divorce happens, in His infinite wisdom He come still
    be leading you to that right person. It is all about walking in His Will and with Him.

    God has a plan and at times it seems God will not force Himself and we need to make
    a choice to participate (similar to the man that Jesus asked to sell His possessions and
    follow Him, the man walk away sad, and Jesus didn't beg Him to follow Him but allowed Him to
    go.) Other times like Jonah, it seemed like God was persistent until the person
    did what He wanted them to do(with Jonah, even in Jonah's attempt to kill himself by being
    thrown into the water, God sent a Whale to force Jonah to the shores of Ninevah to perform
    that calling God had for Him, or God hardened Pharaohs heart but didn't soften the mans heart
    who walked away).

    So just focus on being in God's Will. Often times we chase after a spouse and then try to introduce
    them to God, but I like what the image below communicates. God should be our first priority,
    and when that happens, everything else will line up. So sorry to change your question, but I wouldn't
    focus on the question, but focus on God and it will work out.

    [​IMG]
     
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